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 Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 9:35 pm
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 11:15 am
Interlude
His mother calls every day at 8:00pm on the dot.
Sometimes Caspian has to take the call while hiding in an alleyway away from whatever youma he’s hiding, but missing a call from Zoe Lyons is like igniting a bomb. Neither he, nor Cassie, can miss hearing from their mother. It’s tradition.
“So tell me about this new friend of yours.”
It’s eight-oh-seven on a Monday evening. Caspian is reclining back in his bay window, feet up on the cushion, legs curled beneath him. It’s too hot for a blanket, but there are several pillows stacked beneath and around him to make his favorite place even more comfortable.
“What new friend?” Caspian asks, deliberately vague, and he hears his mother snort.
“Please. Cassie says you’re hanging out with someone all the time now,” she says. “She also says she doesn’t really know anything about them, other than the fact that you’re never at home anymore.”
Caspian rolls his eyes and thinks he might strangle his sister. It’s not that he doesn’t want his mother to know - in fact, he tells her pretty much everything, because he and his mother have always been as thick as thieves. It’s that he would rather tell her himself about his life’s goings on, instead of having her hear it from less than reliable sources.
Namely his twin sister and housemate.
“I’m always at home,” he says, toying with the hem of his neon blue tank top. “Cassie’s just exaggerating.”
“So who is he?” his mother persists and Caspian lets out a laugh, in spite of himself.
“His name is Michael,” he says. “He’s...a little bit older than me, he’s a teacher at some private school around here somewhere. I met him a few months ago, and he’s just…” It’s hard to figure out how to describe Michael without letting his mother know about his other life as Remus. “He’s a good guy. Really nice. A little scowly.”
“An older man,” Zoe says, and Caspian can hear the smile in her voice. ”And a teacher.” A pause.” We’re not talking like, forty or fifty, are we?”
“No, no,” Caspian says, and he’s laughing now. “No, if I had to guess I’d say about..thirty? Maybe a little younger, I haven’t actually asked. He’s a little closed off; he doesn’t like to talk about himself too much, but he caught me tagging a wall the other day - “
”Caspian Lyons what did I tell you about spray painting - “
“And he didn’t turn me in,” Caspian continues hastily, over his mother’s exasperated voice. “We just...talked instead. After that, we kept running into each other. I met his little brother, Peter, too,” he adds. “He’s kind of a brat - “
“Well, they say birds of a feather flock together.”
“ - but he’s a good kid, I think, underneath that. He told me that Michael doesn’t have a lot of friends at all.”
His mind flickers back to that unintentional meeting with Peter, telling him that he shouldn’t expect anything, that he should just give up now. That he shouldn’t get his hopes up for anything at all when it comes to Michael.
And he remembers the feeling of strong, solid arms around him, of Michael’s tentative, strained voice, of the breaking down of the walls he’s put so intently up. The slow but steady crumbling of a protective circle around himself, so that Michael is letting himself open up even if it’s just a little bit at a time. To Caspian, a single step is still a step, and in his mind, Michael has already surpassed all of his expectations by telling him it’s okay to be closer.
He realizes belatedly that his mother has been talking, and Caspian hastily returns to the conversation.
“...anyway, just make sure you’re being careful,” Zoe continues. “I worry about you kids, you know.”
Caspian’s smile is affectionate, even ifs he can’t see it.
“I love you too, Mom.”
[ WORD COUNT: 662 ]
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 11:25 am
In the Dark
He still has Michael’s sweatshirt.
Caspian’s not wearing it at present, but it’s still in his room, draped over the back of his desk chair. It’s been washed, of course, because he’s not a heathen, but it still smells faintly of Michael in a way that’s oddly soothing. It’s not quite the same as the actual person himself, but it still makes Caspian feel reassured when he doesn’t feel himself.
Like now, when it’s four in the morning and he’s just woken up from another nightmare.
He’s drenched in sweat and tangled in his blankets. Caspian is automatically reaching for the phone, but he stops short, fingers inches from it, because he can’t call Michael again. He just called him the night before, and then twice last week. It’s becoming both a problem and a habit, and he can’t keep waking people up in the middle of the night just because he has a stupid nightmare.
His heart feels like it’s beating too fast. His pulse is rapidfire beneath, and he feels as though he’s about to jump out of his skin at any moment. The nightmare clings to him, blackened tendrils curling around his heart and his head so that he can’t think of anything else except I need Michael.
Caspian forces his hand into a different direction. He snatches up Michael’s sweatshirt without thinking and buries his face in it, inhaling deeply, and through the smell of detergent, he can smell the faintest scent of cedarwood and citrus. It permeates through the haze inside of his head, slowly breaking apart the shadows that clog it.
He likes Michael John Gallo. He likes him a lot, likes his strength and his soothing presence and his continued patience, even when he’s being stubborn. Michael is the root of the tree that Caspian is climbing, keeping him steady and grounded when he gets a little too reckless or a little too intense. He feels safe with Michael, a feeling that both exhilarates and scares Caspian.
He’s never had a friend like Michael before. Cassie is his twin, his sister, his other half. They are bonded together in a way that is unbreakable, everlasting, and Caspian loves her, even if they squabble. She has been his support for years, just the two of them.
But now -
But now Michael is here. Implacable, calm, dry-humored, quiet Michael with his painful history, whatever it is, and his scowls and the gentle weight of his hand on Caspian’s wrist, each one holding on as though afraid to let go. There are demons in Michael’s past, skeletons in his closet that Caspian doesn’t know about that make Michael wary and closed off - but little by little, he has been growing. He has tried to open himself up to Caspian, he has chosen to trust him.
It’s a feeling that’s almost intoxicating because it’s something he’s never experienced before and he doesn’t know how to stop wanting more of it. Caspian wants to learn more about Michael, wants to spend more time with him, because with Michael, he feels...good. He feels like he is both wanted and sane, not to mention protected.
Caspian slowly opens his eyes again and lowers the sweatshirt. It’s a little wrinkled, but he smoothes his fingers over the fabric, tracing the symbol imprinted there.
It’s dangerous to think of Michael as more than his mentor, but Caspian has already started to see him as a friend.
As maybe even...a best friend.
Is he allowed to consider Michael his best friend? It hasn’t been that long; is there some sort of time frame that has to be surpassed before someone can be considered a best friend? Caspian can’t base anything on his childhood friendships, not anymore, not after what happened to all of them. But Michael just…feels like he could be. After all, Caspian doesn’t trust anyone more than he trusts Michael, except for Cassie, and again, she’s his sister and therefore doesn’t really count.
Caspian slowly lays back down, nestling his head on his pillows. He feels exhausted and worn out, like he always does when he has nightmares, and his eyelids feel heavy. He holds Michael’s sweatshirt in his hands and gathers it up, pulling it against his chest so that he’s hugging it.
And eventually he falls asleep again.
[ WORD COUNT: 721 ]
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 11:32 am
What's in a Name
He’s six years old and he’s just starting kindergarten.
It’s alphabetical seating, and Caspian Meriadoc Lyons is placed in the middle of the classroom, next to Lucas Lowell and Jayna Morrison. Cassie is in another class, which Caspian finds frightening; he doesn't want to be without his sister. Lucas has blond hair and the biggest blue eyes that Caspian has ever seen, while Janet has big, poofy black hair that’s poofed up in a ponytail on the top of her head.
All three of them become fast friends, even if Caspian doesn’t quite understand why they both giggle when he tells them that his name is Caspian Meriadoc Lyons.
“Merry is a girl’s name,” Jayna informs him, which Caspian frowns to.
“My mommy said it’s from a book,” he says, and they giggle again as Lucas builds a tower from the legos he’s taken from Caspian’s pile.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He’s nine years old and in the third grade. He’s still sitting next to Lucas and Jayna, because it’s still alphabetical. Lucas is still taking his legos, but Caspian doesn’t really mind, because Lucas says they’re best friends, and best friends share everything. He’s learning a lot about what it means to be best friends, but Lucas informs him, as he helps himself to Caspian’s pudding in his lunch box, that best friends do everything together.
“But I don’t eat your pudding,” Caspian says, confused, and Lucas looks at Jayna before answering. Jayna wears her hair in braids now, little rows on the top of her head. Lucas’s hair is still blonde and angelic looking.
“That’s ‘cause we’re besties,” Lucas explains, slowly, because he clearly wants Caspian to understand. “You share with me, and we share with you. I’ll give you some of my dessert tomorrow.”
Caspian thinks on this.
“Oh,” he says. “Okay.”
Lucas looks satisfied as he eats another bite of pudding. Yet the next day, Caspian doesn’t get anything from Lucas, because Lucas says he forgot to bring dessert. Caspian will just have to wait until next time.
“Tomorrow,” Lucas promises.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He’s thirteen years old, and he can hear them all laughing again.
”Meriadoc? Like, Lord of the Rings? Dude, that’s so stupid.”
“I bet his mom is a fangirl.”
“I wouldn’t want to be called Meriadoc.”
“It’s not like Caspian is much better. It sounds like a girl’s name.”
“Cassie Merry Lyons. Just like his sister.”
“Maybe they’re the same person,” someone says, and there’s a storm of laughter. “Maybe he likes wearing dresses and pretending he’s a girl.”
“He was wearing nail polish the other day, did you see?”
“That’s gross.”
Caspian looks down at his hands, to the neon green color that’s on his nails. His mother did both his and Cassie’s, because he likes color, because he likes brightness. It’s always been this way; his mother has never told him that there’s anything wrong with wearing it, or with his name.
Maybe she’s wrong. Maybe there is something wrong with it.
His fingers curl into a fist so tightly that his nails bite into his palms. Caspian rounds the corner and tries to keep his head up high as he passes the group of giggling, gossiping students, but the ringleader of the group - a kid with angelic blond curls and the biggest blue eyes that Caspian has ever seen - meets his gaze, a sneer curling his lip up.
“Did I tell you he thought we were actually friends?” Lucas drawls. “He used to follow me around so much in elementary school and tried to say we were friends.”
His smile widens.
”Best friends, right Merry?”
The laughter follows Caspian out the door as he runs away.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He’s sixteen years old, and Lucas Lowell is the one who catches Caspian kissing a boy in the school bathrooms.
“I told you,” he laughs mockingly, as the boy runs out and leaves Caspian standing there by the sinks, abandoned and flushed, mouth still tingling from the kisses he barely even got to try. “I told you that you were a girl. Only girls kiss boys.”
Lucas, too, leaves him alone in the bathroom, and the boy never talks to Caspian again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He’s seventeen and his past is buried beneath layers of overconfidence and bravado.
“Mom, please stop crying,” says Caspian with a laugh as he adjusts his graduation cap. Beside him, his girlfriend Alyssa is crying too; she’s just a junior, which means she’s not graduating with him and Cassie this year. “It’s just high school, it’s not a big deal.”
“Shut up,” Zoe sniffs. “My babies are graduating, I’m allowed to cry my damn eyes out. s**t, I need a tissue, I know I brought some, where did I put them…”
Over his mother’s shoulder, Caspian can see Lucas Lowell and Jayna Morrison smirking at him. Still angelic, still beautiful, both of them exude the airy self-composure for their positions as Valedictorian and Salutatorian.
Jayna deserves it, maybe. Caspian remembers Lucas taking his notes and using them as his own.
He walks between them, with Cassie as a buffer, because they graduate, of course, in alphabetical order. As Caspian’s name is called, he flips his tassel to the other side and sees his mother and Alyssa both waving at him from the audience.
There are a million after parties that follow. Caspian goes to none of them, because he’s not invited to any of them. Instead, he spends time with his family and then spends the night with Alyssa for the first time, fumbling their way through it.
Alyssa breaks up with him two weeks later, proclaiming she “doesn’t do long distance” even though Caspian is still in town.
You never really wanted me, anyway, Caspian thinks.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He’s nineteen and he’s built walls around himself.
He’s open and friendly to the people at Destiny City University. Everyone knows Caspian Lyons is the mischief maker, the trouble maker, the class clown that loves to have a good time. He’s bright eyed and cheerful, unbelievably sociable and is always around for people to say hello to.
Caspian never goes to any of the parties.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He’s twenty, and he meets Michael John Gallo, Knight Sessrumnir of Jupiter.
He’s twenty, and Caspian Lyons makes his very first, real friend.
[ WORD COUNT: 1,039 ]
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 4:41 pm
Eternal Sailor Remus of Regolith, don't get all moony eyed on us now...
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 3:36 pm
Destiny's Star Fundraiser Gala
Wherein Caspian, Olga, Mi-Hi, and Michael are all besties.
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Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 10:13 am
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:49 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:54 pm
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057 Walking Between the Worlds - Caspian & Gallos
