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 Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:22 pm
Beginning of September 2016
With the restaurant behind them, and the dinner portion of their first official date completed, it seemed as though Michael and Caspian were trying to make up any excuse not to go home and part ways for the night. Going to each other’s houses was not an option since they had prying siblings who would certainly butt into their business.
Instead, Michael drove them to the outskirts of the city in the direction of the mountains, so the terrain was more hilly. Before leaving the city limits, Michael insisted that they stop to get milkshakes (coffee flavored for himself), because they couldn’t just not have dessert.
He ended up driving them to a park and picnic area for tourists up on a hill that overlooked the city. The park itself had lost popularity with all the terrorist activity in the city, but it was still a good place to go to get away. That, and it had a great view of the city and the sky above. The grounds were still maintained, at least, so the grassy clearing that Michael had in mind wasn’t too overgrown.
He’d brought the blanket he kept in his trunk for emergencies so it could be spread out over the ground, which was covered in acorns from the nearby oak trees, and fireflies glowed on and off around them. Even with the tree branches above, the sky was still open, only a few clouds rolling by to block out the moon and stars.
“I know you like looking at the stars, but this is the best I can on a whim,” Michael explained, watching Caspian almost warily, a little worried that this was not what Caspian had in mind and would rather just go home, after all. Michael lowered himself onto the blanket, using the straw in his styrofoam cup to stir what was left of his milkshake.
He was mildly concerned about youma and negaverse officers, of course, but he didn’t get that strange sense of dread that he usually felt when he was being watched. He thought for now they would be okay. —————— He was curious to see where they were going, Caspian keeping up a stream of conversation during the drive that thankfully did not involve talking about his school. The milkshakes - his was chocolate - were an excellent addition, and he slurped his happily on the way, peering interestedly out the window for any indications of their destination.
Which turned out to be a park. Caspian trudged along behind Michael with wide eyes as they made their way up the hill, the smell of fresh grass and leaves and a faint woodsy scent filling his senses. He had always loved nature, and now, as he stood on the hill beside Michael as he lay down the blanket, Caspian inhaled deeply, his eyes closing briefly as though to let himself simply be immersed in it all.
When he opened them again, Michael was sitting on the blanket, looking slightly wary. Caspian bit his lip, hiding a smile, and carefully toed off his shoes, leaving them on the grass. He stepped, a little gingerly, towards Michael, and then, a little boldly, carefully sat down in front of him, scooting back so that he could nestle himself with his back against Michael’s chest. Caspian drew his knees up in front of him and leaned back, letting the indulgence of it all warm him.
“It’s great,” he said sincerely, reaching back to try and find Michael’s hand without looking, Caspian’s eyes on the sky in front of them. “I’ve never been out here before, it’s wonderful.”
——————
Michael glanced up to watch, still somewhat warily, as Caspian slowly removed his shoes and then turned to sit in front of him, back to his chest. Michael moved his legs out of the way to accommodate, but instead of allowing Caspian to take hold of his hand that he'd reached for, he looped his arm under Caspian's, wrapping it across his chest.
Thankfully it had stormed the other night and the air had cooled from the unbearable heat that it had been over the last few weeks. Even still, Michael had left his jacket in the car, and already had the sleeves of his button up shirt rolled to his elbows.
He reached over to set the mostly empty milkshake cup in the grass beside him, and then snaked his now free arm around Caspian. Somewhat tentatively he leaned his head down to rest his chin over Caspian's shoulder instead of looking up at the sky or anything around them.
Part of him wondered if it was too much. He wasn't used to showing this kind of affection, and part of him wondered if he was asking for more than what Caspian really wanted to give. All he knew was that he wanted to remain as close as possible to absorb the warmth from Caspian.
"I was hoping you'd like it," he said softly, almost sleepily, his fingers gripping gently into the fabric of Caspian's shirt. "It's not like being on the water... and there's more bugs," he added as a firefly hovered nearby, "But I thought you might like it."
——————
He made a small sound of approval as Michael’s arm slid around him from behind, his heart beating madly in his chest. Caspian liked the way this felt, liked the way he could rest his own hand atop of Michael’s, pressing his fingers into the spaces between Michael’s as Michael’s other arm joined the first, so that both were wrapped around his waist and chest.
Michael’s head was on his shoulder, so that every word he spoke was gentle and breathed against Caspian’s ear, making him shiver. He let his own arms rest a little tentatively over Michael’s, keeping them in place, and allowed himself to relax back against Michael, warm and secure and safe in his grasp.
It felt...like he felt there. Like he could nestle up this way and be protected from the rest of the world, Michael making sure to hold him close. Even though his movements had been somewhat hesitant, so had Caspian’s, as though each one was trying to figure out where the line was, whether this was okay or not. Soft, gentle, cautious gestures as they learned more about one another, and Caspian liked this, even if he was still lingering in his frustrating anxiety that could not abate easily.
“I do like it,” Caspian murmured, and then gave a little laugh, the arm resting across Michael’s tightening a little. “I really like it, even with the bugs. You can see the whole city from here.”
He tilted his head a little, daring to rest it slightly against Michael’s, his pulse still rapid even with the relaxed atmosphere.
“And I especially like that I get to see it with you,” he added quietly, cheeks warming. “That I get to...come up here with you at all, I mean.”
——————
Michael let out a little hum of approval as Caspian's arms laid across his, closing his eyes as he focused on the rapid beating of his own heart, but was able to feel Caspian's as well. He'd thought about it before; if it was normal for him to feel like this. For his heart to pound so frantically in his chest just from being around Caspian. It had to be normal, since Caspian reacted the same way it seemed. Or maybe there was something wrong with both of them.
"I'm glad I could be here with you," he breathed softly, holding as still as he could so Caspian wouldn't move his head away from where it rested against his.
There were a lot of things he wanted to say, wanted to ask. He knew some of the thoughts that swirled through his head were probably silly, so he hesitated and eventually decided to not say anything at all. At least not right away.
"Thank you," he said after a few long moments, his arms tightening slightly around Caspian. "For everything. I don't even know where to begin, so... thank you."
Caspian didn't have to give him the time of day. He didn't have to put up with his nonsense. He didn't have to deal with they way he treated him and attempted to push him away, but Caspian wouldn't leave. Maybe that was all Michael needed. Someone who wouldn't look at him and just see some spoiled jerk of a guy. And Caspian's patience was unparalleled. Michael wondered if he was always this patient or if it was just him he was patient with.
——————
If he had considered, months ago, the man known as Sessrumnir, Knight of Jupiter, Caspian would have thought it strange that he would eventually meet him later, as Michael Gallo instead and not realize the two were connected. And he would have thought it even stranger that each one of them had inadvertently helped him without any knowledge of who the other was underneath the glamour.
Maybe, if he had not met Michael first as Sessrumnir, they would not have met as civilians later. Maybe, if they had not met as civilians, then they would not have grown together like this, only learning to work as powered individuals with no actual connections otherwise.
And yet - and yet things had fallen into place, unexpectedly. The twists and turns of life had led them here, and while Caspian was not exactly a big believe in concepts such as fate or destiny - two words that, frankly, were cheesy and dumb in his opinion - he thought, maybe, that this time the universe had decided to cut him some slack.
Maybe. Or maybe he was just being sentimental about it. Either way, Caspian was entirely grateful for the fact that, not only had he found Michael, but that Michael had, shockingly, wanted him back.
Sometimes it still made his head spin.
He reached down, Caspian’s hand closing on one of Michael’s, the gentle words soothing him. Tugging his hand up, Caspian pressed his lips to Michael’s palm, eyes fluttering shut, the kiss warm, soft and gentle.
“There’s no need to thank me,” he said quietly, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m just glad I stuck with you all this time. And that…” He pressed a kiss to the inside of Michael’s wrist, tasting the pulse that beat beneath the skin. “...I get to be with you for longer, if you’ll met me.”
Caspian kissed the tip of each finger, slowly, gently, peppering each one with soft, tender affection.
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:25 pm
He could feel his hand being drawn away from where he wrapped it around Caspian's waist, Caspian's hold gentle as he lifted his hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss against his palm, and then his wrist. Michael felt strangely content, almost guiltily so, like he wasn't supposed to feel like this. This was meant for other people and he was intruding on that. He hadn't done enough to be worthy of this gentle consideration Caspian had for him.
As Caspian's lips pressed kisses against his fingertips, Michael turned his head just slightly, pressing a kiss to the crook of Caspian's neck. He breathed in, the scent of vanilla and soap and something else, maybe cinnamon, filling his senses along with the smell of grass and the night air. He didn't know what he could have possibly done to be allowed to feel like this. He couldn't convince himself that he deserved it.
"Talk to me, Cas," he softly requested, his voice muffled against Caspian's skin. "What's your favorite book? Or animal? Movie?" he suggested, just wanting to hear the sound of Caspian's voice. It soothed him, and made him feel not as lonely as he often felt. Really, it was a distraction so he wouldn't be tempted to do anything else that might scare Caspian away.—————— It was a cool night, neither too hot, nor too cold, and Caspian felt comfortable like this, nestled against Michael. He didn’t want to move; it seemed impossible at this point, and he thought he would have been entirely content staying like this for several more hours. His fingers ran along Michael’s, each kiss tender in a way that put his gentle feelings into each one, Caspian’s lips curving up into a smile against each part of Michael’s hand.
The soft kiss to his neck made his heart slam into his chest, made his stomach flutter, Caspian’s breath growing momentarily uneven. That was still new - and it made him stupidly pleased and nervous and excited all at the same time, especially since there were still faint marks on Caspian’s neck from the last time Michael had kissed him there. Marks that Caspian had seen in the mirror and made his head spin, his chest tightening as he’d tried to keep the neckline of his shirt pulled up so that his sister wouldn’t see, but that he himself had wanted to look at again, because it was a reminder that it had actually happened.
He liked the feel of Michael’s breath against his skin, the way it fluttered warmly.
“Fine,” Caspian said, a little breathlessly, curling his fingers with Michael’s as he rested his arm back around his waist, his own arms resting atop again. “But for every question - I want your answer too - and - a kiss.”
He bit his lip, wondering if that was pushing too far, but pressed on before Michael could say anything.
“I like Catcher in the Rye. It was the only book I liked that I was required to read for school. I like dolphins, I’ve always wanted to swim with them. And I like Pirates of the Caribbean, of course, but I also like X-Men and Avengers.”—————— He liked the curve of the smile he felt on Caspian’s lips as he kissed his fingers. He wanted to feel more of that, but conceded to allowing his hand to be lowered back down, his fingers curling into Caspian’s shirt once more.
A small chuckle of a laugh escaped when Caspian requested him to respond with his own answer, but also with a kiss, his mouth still pressed against Caspian’s neck. It was fair enough, and he should have known that he would be required to answer too. He probably would have given his answer even if Caspian hadn’t asked. And he definitely would have kissed him regardless of the request.
“I have a lot of books I like,” he mumbled, moving his mouth to press another kiss against Caspian’s shoulder. “My favorite is To Kill a Mockingbird.” He paused to move back up Caspian’s neck, pressing a kiss just below his jawbone.
“I like wolves. Which I guess works out because I have my own wolf now. And my favorite movie other than Return of the King and Star Wars would probably be Shawshank Redemption,” he concluded, moving to the back of Caspian’s neck to press a kiss there as well.
This was nice, for lack of a better word. He liked it, being so close to Caspian, holding him like this. There was still the voice in the back of his head saying that he wasn’t worth Caspian’s time and energy, but that made him hold on to him even tighter.
“What is something that inspires you?” he asked, hoping these questions weren’t coming off as silly or trite. He was honestly curious, although his fingers also curiously tugged a little at the shirt they were holding to, slowly but steadily bunching up the fabric to the point where Michael could shift his hand enough to slide his hand under, against Caspian’s side, warm skin beneath. —————— The laughter breathed out against his neck made his skin tingle, the mere sound of it pleasing to Caspian, who felt a smile beginning on his face. He could feel Michael’s lips on his shoulder now, his answers quiet, his kisses warm and affectionate; there was no rush to them, everything slow and lingering and wonderful.
Caspian was starting to think that his request for a kiss for each answer was a good one after all.
Michael’s mouth was on his jaw, and he exhaled a shaky breath, Caspian’s eyes fluttering half-lidded, head tilting back a little to allow for more access; an instinctive, subconscious gesture that eased him closer to Michael. The feel of his mouth was sending shivers up and down his spine in a delightful way that made him long for more - but, then again, he seemed to always want more with Michael.
It was hard not to.
“Wolves,” Caspian murmured, as Michael kissed the back of his neck. “I like wolves too. And Lord of the Rings. Did you know Viggo Mortenson kept his horse from those movies? He said he connected with it, so he kept it. I think he bought his stuntman’s horse too, or something.”
Michael’s hand was shifting, pushing under his shirt, palm against his bare stomach. It was a warm, electric feeling, and Caspian settled back further against Michael, not dissuading the curious exploration, but instead letting Michael do as he pleased, wanting to see - and feel - and hear - everything that came next, and after.
Caspian hummed in thought at the question, turning his head just enough to press a soft kiss to Michael’s cheek before facing forward again, debating his answer.
“Music,” he said, after a moment’s consideration. “I love music. And spacey things, even though it’s kinda overwhelming sometimes. The ocean, there’s so much cool s**t in the ocean, so much we haven’t explored yet. I guess nature in general I like a lot.”
Caspian’s lips tugged up in a smile, his cheeks warming. “Is that too cheesy of an answer?”—————— He could feel Caspian shifting slightly with each kiss and each touch, as if trying to move closer to him, tilting his head to allow Michael more access to his neck and shoulder. Michael didn't want to waste the subconscious offer.
"Yes, I did know that," he said with another soft laugh, "But I like hearing it from you, your majesty." He liked the sound of Caspian's voice; when it was light and airy, or even thick with emotion. But he didn't dare say that he liked Caspian's voice because that was probably too much. He didn't want to seek as desperate for Caspian's presence as he sometimes felt.
"Did you know it was meant to be one book instead of a trilogy, but it was more economical to split it into three?" he asked with a small grin as he brushed his fingers against Caspian's bare skin under his shirt. He first pressed his fingers gently against the lean muscle he could feel across Caspian's stomach, and then shifted a bit lower and against the waistband of Caspian's black pants.
, but
"Not at all," he said lowly, a bit hazily as he pressed another kiss to Caspian's neck, not thinking his answer was at all cheesy. He suspected the answer would involve being outside or space, and he wasn't wrong. Caspian clearly had a fondness for stars.
"I guess if anything, books inspire me," he mumbled against Caspian's neck. "It's like daydreaming in a controlled environment. It's easier to escape my thoughts through books, but also just as easy to get out if it gets too overwhelming." By now he was too distracted by Caspian to really think about what he was saying, and was just instinctively responding; distracted by the feel of his soft skin and smell and taste.
"I can't listen to music any more. Or at least I can't let myself focus on it. It hurts too much," he mumbled softly, absently, as he kissed Caspian neck again, the hand not under Caspian's shirt slowly lifting to trail his fingers up Caspian's chest and neck, gently pressing his fingers against Caspian's chin to tilt it up a little higher.
"What is something you've always wanted?" he asked, figuring that was a boyfriend thing to do; find out what Caspian wanted to buy for him. That was how it worked, right? —————— He was distracted by Michael’s hand, shifting warmly across his stomach, which gave a flutter at the wandering fingers, each gentle, exploratory touch sending shivers up and down Caspian’s spine. He was also distracted by the very real sensation of those soft kisses, because Michael’s voice was being murmured against his skin, warm and sweet in a way he couldn’t quite explain.
“Three books then, three movies later,” Caspian said with a slightly breathless laugh. “I’m sure Tolkien never expected his stuff to go that far at all, and now it’s a worldwide culture practically.”
Daydreaming in a controlled environment. He liked the sound of that, liked the way it brought to mind being curled up in his window seat in his room, with a storm outside and a book inside, blankets and pillows heaped around him comfortably. A favored spot that Caspian always returned to when he needed to get away.
“I can understand that,” he said, and his voice came out a little uneven, Michael’s mouth against his neck again. Caspian felt the shift of his hand, and then gentle fingers tilting his head back, Caspian unresisting, his eyes fluttering half-lidded, a little thrill making his stomach quiver beneath Michael’s fingers, his cheeks slowly reddening.
The idea of Michael being hurt made his chest tighten. He wondered if it had something to do with the life that Michael had lived that he was not ready to talk about.
“Why does it hurt?” he murmured, and then gave another breathless, almost startled laugh.
The answer to that question was easy.
“To go to Homecoming. Or prom. Or something. I never got to. Maybe just relive my high school years all over again.”
He’d never really seen the point, keeping himself separate from the rest, because he’d known he wouldn’t have had a good time, even if he’d wanted to, somewhere underneath it all. His senior prom had been spent with him violently sick with a stomach bug, the only year that Caspian had had a girlfriend that he could have taken.
“And - “ Because he had two answers, the second just as easy as the first.
“This,” whispered Caspian. “You.”
It was probably not the answer that Michael had intended, or expected, but it was the first answer that had come to Caspian’s mind, and it had come out before he could stop it.
“You keep telling me that you want me,” Caspian said softly, “And I still find it unbelievable that you do, because it seems too good to be true.”
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:30 pm
Michael hummed in agreement as Caspian commented about Tolkien not knowing how far his thoughts put on paper would go, but as much as Michael was a 'Tolkien fanboy' as Caspian called him, he was a little too distracted by the soft, shuttering breaths and slight trembling of Caspian's body.
He felt intoxicated by the warmth and feel of Caspian's skin against his hands and lips, but he wanted more. Michael slowly drew his fingers down the underside of Caspian's chin and down his neck, coming to stop at the top fastened button of his shirt. The first button seemed to be the most difficult to unhook, but the second and third were a bit easier. Michael almost hungrily slipped his hand inside the opening to press his hand against Caspian's smooth chest, fingers brushing across his collarbone as he did so.
"Music makes me remember too much. Makes it too easy," he admitted, still distracted. "I would rather just forget." It was the best he could do; try to stop himself from remembering by not inviting out those emotions.
The hand that he had along Caspian's stomach slid down to his hip and thigh. His fingers pressed against the outside of Caspian's leg for a few moments, and then crept towards the inside of his thigh, fingers sliding between the legs Caspian had drawn up together when he sat down.
The laughter was nice, and Michael was able to pull himself out of his daze for a few moments at Caspian's response. He'd almost forgotten just how recently Caspian had been in high school, how important homecoming and prom was to a lot of people. He'd never had his own prom, being homeschooled, but he remembered wishing that he had. Now he just thought himself too old to be allowed to enjoy school dances, especially since he was often the chaperone at Azure.
But it was Caspian's second response that startled him the most, and he drew back from where he'd been playfully nibbling on Caspian's jaw so he could stare at him. It was hard to do from the vantage point of sitting behind him, and what with his hand still inside Caspian's shirt, pressed against his chest, and his other hand practically between Caspian's thighs, it made it especially difficult.
What he could see, however, was still that lonely, sad look in his eyes and in his expression. Caspian really could not believe that Michael would want him, and his heart ached.
"I could say the same about you, Cas," he said softly, lowering his head back down, leaning against Caspian's cheek. "You should have never wanted anything to do with me. You should have given up on me. I find it just as unbelievable that you still even want to be around me." —————— He thought, maybe, that he might melt. That Michael’s slow, exploring touches and his warm breath against his skin were going to cause him to burn up right then and there, Caspian rapidly losing his train of thought, so that the questions that had once been in his mind were being replaced by thoughts only of Michael.
A small intake of breath as the first button of his shirt was undone, and then another as the second and third followed. Caspian let out a long, shaking breath as Michael’s hand slid into the opening, a breath that caught in his throat, his mind feeling hazy.
He tried to remember what they were talking about. Something to do with - music, that was it, music, and Michael’s other hand was slipping tantalizingly along his hip, over the outside of his leg and - dangerously, wonderfully - dipping towards the inside of his thigh, Caspian shuddering, his heart beating so madly in his chest he was surprised it wasn’t audible to anyone within a five mile radius.
Except right now it was just the two of them, and right now that was all Caspian wanted.
“I...can help you forget, too,” he managed to get out, because Michael’s teeth were skimming his jaw, mouth warm. “If...you don’t want to think, I can...help you not think.”
His brain was fuzzy, thoughts of Michael’s warmth, his proximity, everything he wanted and more swirling inside. Caspian regretted the loss of Michael’s lips but felt his face pressed against his cheek and tried to stop shivering, his teeth set into his lower lip to try and stop the embarrassing, low throated moan that kept threatening to escape.
He swallowed hard, listening to that voice seep into him, and Caspian’s eyes fell shut, his breathing uneven.
Michael was here. Michael was with him, holding him, tenderly and eagerly getting closer to him, and that was the proof, wasn’t it? Every time that Michael kissed him, touched him, even just spoke to him at all, it was simple and wonderful proof that they were here, together, because they both wanted to be.
One of his hands rose and came to rest where Michael’s lay on his chest, pressing down to keep it there. He felt a swell of nervousness and anxiety course through him, but it lay on the back of an undeniable trust and warmth that Michael exuded, helping to ease some of his fears.
“I want you,” Caspian whispered. “I like you. And...if you wanted to…”
He knew what he was asking, and hoped that Michael did not think that he expected them to go all the way, because Caspian was sure he was not yet ready for that. But he also wanted more than this, and Michael’s gentle fingers were resting just on the curve of his inner thigh, close to what Caspian did want.
“I’d be okay if you…” he said, so softly it was barely above a whisper.—————— It was difficult to say whose heart was beating louder at this point. Michael could hear his pounding in his ears, but also feel quite clearly how heavy Caspian’s beat against his chest, Michael’s hand held in place by one of Caspian’s. For a few moments he was concerned, wondering if there was something wrong with both of them. This was different than how he felt around anyone in the past. He didn’t let his heart get so wound up like this, as if every moment actually mattered.
The soft words whispered to him in the quiet of the night had Michael frozen, almost in disbelief. He thought it was pretty obvious that he wanted Caspian in so many ways, but for Caspian to say it was okay, to offer to help him forget, to help him not think. He had to wonder if he’d just imagined it, was just making things up in his own mind.
But Caspian’s hand held tightly to his own, pressed against his chest. He thought he could hear the trembling in Caspian’s words as easily as he could feel him. Michael could tell he was nervous, uneasy, but also willing to throw caution to the wind, to risk being hurt and left all alone like before, all for Michael’s sake.
Michael’s hand pressed Caspian’s chest more firmly, holding him securely with Caspian’s back to his chest, as if he was trying to help the anxiety Caspian must have felt. He could feel the trembling in the fingers that covered his own. There was no need for words, not now that Caspian had said it all for both of them.
He turned his head just enough to press another kiss to Caspian’s neck as the hand he had on his thigh tentatively dipped lower.
******************************
It was almost impossible to imagine just how close Michael had grown to Caspian, and how much he relied on Caspian’s presence in his life, how much he was falling for him, needing him. It was an overwhelming desire that he couldn’t explain and didn’t know how to describe.
He was sure others would look at their fragile new relationship and think that they were just messing around and that it couldn’t possibly be serious, because Michael was too old, and Caspian was too young, and soon they would realize their goals in life did not include the other.
And yet, it scared Michael how much he wanted to stay in Caspian’s life, for as long as he possibly could. And Caspian wanted him to stay, too. He knew how many things could go wrong, how easily it would be for one or both of them to be killed, whether it was quick, or slow and agonizing, but Caspian was still there, and Michael was realizing how much he needed him there.
“Jupiter,” Michael pointed out from where he lay on his back on the blanket, lowering his hand from pointing to the bright dot in the sky, bent his arm and tucked it back behind his head. His other arm was stretched out around Caspian’s shoulders, holding him close to his chest. At some point, Michael’s shirt had been removed, so he now lounged in just his slacks. Or perhaps basking would be the better term.
He was sure his face was still flushed red, and he wondered if he would ever have enough time to properly catch his breath, but he also didn’t really care. He was there with Caspian and that was all that mattered. Even without going all the way, this had been enough for now. —————— He was still trying to figure out how he felt.
A myriad of emotions were tangled up in Caspian’s mind, ranging from embarrassment to unspeakable pleasure, to a lingering anxiousness he wished he could dispel entirely, to a warm, incredible affection he felt for Michael Gallo, something Caspian couldn’t quite put into words. The more time he spent with Michael, the more he felt, and right now, after...after this, he couldn’t think of ever trying to leave now.
He was also still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he’d let Michael do what he’d done.
Unlike Michael, Caspian still had his shirt on, though now it was unbuttoned fully and slightly tangled. His slacks, however, had been discarded, and he was in a pair of black boxers that were low on his hips. He was lying mostly beside Michael, curled up against his side, though his head was resting on Michael’s bare chest, and Caspian had an arm wound around his waist, very much enjoying the closeness.
“Your home planet,” he mumbled, tightening his grasp. His own face was still flushed scarlet, and Caspian had not quite managed to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling with the effort of calming down.
He felt...strangely vulnerable now, as though a small, emotional act of intimacy and care had left his feelings wide open. It was not all they could have done, Caspian knew this; and yet even such a seemingly “small” thing to anyone else felt like such a big step for him. He’d never gone this far with any other guy before, and even his fumbling night with his girlfriend had not really felt the way this had felt. That was an expected thing, a routine act.
This had been warm and gentle and heated and filled with desire all at the same time. Caspian had never known it could be like that before, and now did not want to feel it with anyone else other than Michael.
He turned his head slightly and pressed a soft kiss to Michael’s chest, then tried to curl himself closer, Caspian needing his presence.
You’re my favorite person, he thought to himself. Out loud, he said softly, shyly, “I’m really glad Peter wasn’t around to interrupt us this time.”—————— Michael kept his arm around Caspian’s shoulders, keeping him close and pulling him closer when it felt as though that was what Caspian wanted to do. He had no way of organizing the thoughts and emotions that swirled through his mind, or to quite understand how he felt about Caspian. Yes, there was desire and need and want and an undeniable fondness for him, but there was still something else he couldn’t quite describe.
“More or less,” he said softly, still staring up at the white dot in the sky, much brighter than the other celestial bodies, except for the moon. It was a little more complicated than just calling Jupiter his home planet, but it was close enough that he didn’t need to bother explaining why it was only sort of his home planet. They would have time to talk about that later.
“Just because you said that, he’ll probably show up,” Michael groaned, although it was a halfhearted effort and clearly meant lightheartedly. Of course, he was glad Peter wasn’t around to interrupt them. Or anyone.
“Are you okay?” he asked cautiously, drawing in a deep breath himself, and then shifting where he laid so he could turn more towards Caspian, making it easier for him to stay close. “That wasn’t… too soon or…” he trailed off, not really sure what he was trying to ask. He just knew he wanted Caspian to feel wanted.
“Or,” he frowned again, feeling strangely out of sorts, not wanting Caspian to feel weird about what they’d just done. Or what he’d let Michael do to him. “If you need some space, or… if you didn’t like…” he trailed off again, hating himself for being kind of pathetic when it came to this.
He didn’t often react like this; the last time he could remember being the morning after Caspian had been injured and was clearly upset about something but Michael hadn’t been sure of what. —————— ”If he shows up, I may strangle him,” Caspian mumbled. He felt too tangled up in Michael to even think too much about Peter at the present - though knowing him, he’d show up or call or do something to interrupt the precious, tender moments between them. It had happened once already, Caspian sincerely hoped that it would not happen again.
He felt Michael shifting, and Caspian drew back just a fraction so that he could do so comfortably, waiting until he was settled again before sliding back into the welcoming circle of his arms. Caspian closed his eyes and pressed his face into Michael’s chest, inhaling deeply, sliding fingers up and down Michael’s side. He fit them carefully, curiously, along the ribs he could feel, and then wrapped his arm back around Michael, wanting to keep the distance between them as minimal as possible.
“I’m okay,” Caspian said, and then tilted his head back to look at Michael, a startled, anxious expression on his still flushed face.
“It wasn’t too soon,” he said quickly, and then blushed furiously. He shifted his arm, slid his hand up and down Michael’s bare chest in absent gestures, as though just wanting to feel his skin against his palm.
“...I liked it,” said Caspian softly, and his face burned, but he had to say the words out loud, otherwise Michael would never know. “I liked it a lot. It felt…” He took a deep, shaking breath. “It felt...really good. Really really good.”
He bit his lip, his expression softening a little as Caspian pressed himself against his boyfriend, arm back around him,
“I’ve never…done anything with anyone,” Caspian said, voice barely above a whisper. “And I don’t want to do anything like that with anyone other than you.”
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:33 pm
If Peter did find a way to bother them again, Michael was sure he would help Caspian in strangling him. Or just kick him out of his house. It wasn’t as though Peter couldn’t just move back in with their parents. As it was, he was very glad he and Caspian had some time alone, finally.
Michael didn’t dare move when Caspian slid his hands over his chest and back and wrapped his arms around him, as if he was afraid of scaring him away too soon. But Caspian seemed to want to be as close as possible, which was good, and helped calm Michael somewhat.
He kept his arm around Caspian, even on his side now, his hand gently brushing up and down Caspian’s side, having pushed the open shirt out of the way. Michael’s own heart was still beating rapidly in his chest, but he could at least feel as though breathing was a bit more possible now.
He couldn’t see Caspian’s expression until he tilted his head back to look up at him, the look on his face causing Michael some miore anxiety, if only because he didn’t want to ruin what they had been developing. But Caspian said he liked it, that it felt good, and that he only wanted to do anything like that with Michael.
A strange wave of relief washed over him, if only because he never really cared before. Sure, he cared, but not to this level. Not where he not only cared about how Caspian felt, but how he was holding up emotionally. Caspian was different, Michael reminded himself, although he couldn’t explain why other than the fact that he liked him a lot.
“Okay,” he said softly in relief, “Good. I’m glad.” It was definitely better than hearing that it sucked, and a faint flush made its way back onto Michael’s face at how sincere Caspian’s words sounded. Like he really, really meant that he didn’t want to do anything like that with anyone other than him. It was both overwhelming and just right at the same time.
“I just want you, Cas,” he reminded him, knowing Caspian still needed the constant reassurance until he built up his confidence in himself. “As long as you’ll have me.”
He paused and then frowned a bit worriedly. “It’s probably very late by now… I’m not saying I want to leave, but… wouldn’t you rather sleep in a bed?” It would certainly be more comfortable than sleeping out in the open under the stars. —————— He liked, perhaps too much, the feel of Michael’s skin against his own, warm and flushed. The gentle brush of fingers against his side, trailing up his ribs and then down again. The sound of his voice, low and a little rasping, as though, moments earlier, Michael had been out of breath. The way his own hand could feel the strength of Michael’s body as he drew fingers over his upper arm and then across his broad chest.
A small part of Caspian longed, privately, for more. But the rest of Caspian was too scared, too anxious, too inexperienced to go farther than what they’d done, and while he knew well enough that he wanted it to be with Michael and Michael alone, his head, heart, and body weren’t quite ready.
So he would content himself with this for now - and with kisses, because kissing Michael had slowly turned into a favorite pastime of Caspian’s, something he could handle wanting more of. From the sweet, soft, chaste kisses to the deep, passionate, hungry ones, he liked them, especially liked that Michael seemed to like them as much as Caspian did.
He was falling, he knew it. Falling and only wanting Michael to be the one to catch him when he did.
Caspian pushed himself slowly up, somewhat reluctantly disentangling himself from Michael’s arms. He shifted, sliding one bare leg over Michael’s hips and eased himself into his lap, bracing his hands against Michael’s waist, sliding fingers up and down his sides simply because he could, because he wanted to. His legs were bent beneath him, and Caspian bit his lip, smoothing a hand down Michael’s bare chest.
“A bed would be nice,” he said softly, reaching for Michael’s hands so he could tug him to sit up, still vulnerable and a little shy, needing to kiss him.
There was a pause, and then Caspian said, very quietly,
“Are you going to be in it too?”
He was getting too addicted to falling asleep next to Michael and waking up beside him, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to part just yet.—————— Michael watched as Caspian slowly pushed himself up, not resisting or discouraging him from sliding his leg over his waist and settling himself in his lap. For a few moments he just enjoyed the touch of Caspian's hands on his sides and chest, looking up at him with continually growing affection.
There was nothing wrong with being new to experiences, and Michael didn't blame Caspian for being nervous or cautious since this was something very intimate. There was a large part of him that wished he could have those new experiences with Caspian. He supposed that since Michael was more emotionally involved with Caspian than anyone else in the past that this could qualify as a new experience, but it was still nothing like what Caspian was dealing with.
A smile tugged at his lips as Caspian reached down to pull at his hands, and he sat up easily, pulling his hands away so he could slide them around Caspian's waist, immediately leaning in to pepper his face with light kisses.
"Yes," he said softly, not even wanting to play around with the answer, but wanting to ease whatever anxiety Caspian might still be feeling. "My place would probably be better." For a number of reasons, such as his bed being bigger and Peter knowing at least something about them. —————— As Michael sat up, Caspian made a pleased sound in the back of his throat, arms encircling his waist. The little kisses made him smile, made him squirm and laugh with happiness, and Caspian slid his own arms around Michael’s neck, feeling warm and pleased all over. He shifted slightly, easing himself closer, and ran his hands down Michael’s bare chest, liking the idea that he was the one who could do this; that he was the one Michael allowed to be close.
He liked even more the fact that Michael hadn’t been hesitant in staying with him tonight. Caspian twined arms around Michael’s neck once more, leaning close, his eyes half-lidded.
“Good,” he murmured, and pressed his mouth to Michael’s, kissing him slowly, deeply, drawing it out so that by the end, he felt flushed and fluttery. Caspian kissed his cheek, then nuzzled under his chin, finding where Michael’s jaw slid into his chin and kissed the spot there before pulling his head back. His hands moved to cradled Michael’s face between his palms, thumbs smoothing over his cheeks, the look on Caspian’s face unbelievably affectionate even with the vulnerable anxiety.
“Take me home, then,” said Caspian softly, and kissed him, just once more, because he couldn’t help himself.
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