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 Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 6:30 pm
Michael had a bad feeling about this. He scowled down at his feet as he slowly laced up the pair of skates they unfortunately had in his size. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone skating, much less ice skating, and was sure this was going to end in disaster.
But damn that adorable smile and those bright eyes Caspian showed him when Michael reluctantly agreed to go skating with him. It was as though Caspian knew he couldn’t say no to him when he asked so sweetly and with an excitement that made Michael feel too ashamed to crush with a negative response.
It was chilly in the iceplex, but not too intolerable that they needed to bundle up. Michael wore blue denim jeans and a grey shawl-collar sweater over a grey tee-shirt. He’d brought black leather gloves with him, but didn’t put them on just yet.
He supposed it was rather sweet that Caspian though to go on a skating date with him, but he was also sure that Caspian would laugh at the fact that Michael had never been that great at skating. Typically anything with blades or small wheels under his feet was a bad idea. It threw off his center of gravity and made him uneasy, which was why he’d done everything he could to avoid Caspian trying to teach him how to ride a skateboard.
Michael supposed he had to give in to something, and ice skating seemed to be it.
“What the hell do you do with the rest of the laces?” he grumbled to himself as he finished tying up most of the skate, only to glance around to see what Caspian and others were doing as they prepared to go on the ice, and realized he probably needed to keep going up, and tried wrapping the leftover foot of laces around the skates, griping to himself the whole time out of nervousness and slight frustration.
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 10:14 pm
Caspian wasn’t exactly a prime ice skater either, but, well, he’d always loved sports and ice skating was just another sport. Besides, it was winter and that meant winter activities and winter sports and spending more time with Michael in general, which was always the highlight of his day.
And he thought, really, it’d be kinda cute to see Michael ice skate.
He sat now beside him, Caspian’s fingers working to tug the laces through the eyelets to make sure they were tight enough. A breath of chill air gusted out of him as he sat back, visible in the frosty rink, and Caspian tapped the heel of his skate against the floor to make sure that they were on properly.
“You loop them around the top a few times if there’s extra,” he told Michael, grinning cheerfully at him. “At least, that’s what I do. Don’t worry, you’re gonna be fine.”
Caspian himself was wearing a pair of black jeans and a bright blue, long-sleeved shirt that had a bright green shorter sleeved shirt overtop it, a black poofy vest thrown over the rest of these layers. He had to stop himself from continually staring at the way that Michael’s sweater hugged his chest, Caspian tearing his eyes away to push himself to his feet and wobble carefully until he was facing him.
“All right, up and at’em,” he said, hands on his hips. “Let’s go, it’s gonna be fun.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 8:32 pm
He couldn’t help but glance warily over at Caspian when he flashed one of those damn cheerful grins at him. He liked to think he wasn’t susceptible to those looks, but when it was Caspian it was a little more difficult to pretend he didn’t feel anything.
Michael grumbled to himself about how he was going to make a fool of himself as he finished wrapping the extra laces around the top as Caspian had suggested, scowling down at his feet as though daring himself to look ridiculous. Caspian was lucky that he loved him, Michael told himself, because if it had been anyone else who suggested this would have been laughed at in their face.
Slowly, Michael pushed himself up onto his feet, looking more concerned than he probably should as he took a few steps towards Caspian and the rink. It was okay. He could do this just fine. It wasn’t as though ice skating was hard right?
“Just go slow,” he mumbled to himself as he pulled his gloves from his pockets to tug them onto his hands. “So, you know… you don’t trip or anything…” he added, because obviously he was looking out for Caspian and not worried about himself.
He was so worried about himself.
He didn’t want to seem too desperate for help so he didn’t grab for the wall just yet, but as he stepped out onto the ice, he kept within arm’s reach of the rail, just in case.
“There’s too many little kids here…” he grumbled for the sake of grumbling about something, trying to avoid getting run into by these little speed demons racing around the edge of the rink. He was sure the concern and anxiousness about being on the ice was obvious, but as long as he didn’t make too much eye contact, he could play it off as just concentrating.
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:00 pm
It still sort of amazed Caspian that he could make Michael do things just by smiling at him. It seemed ludicrous, and sort of ridiculous, but at the same time, there was something thrilling about it, too. Mostly because Michael would give him one of those looks in return that tended to make him all stupidly fluttery inside.
But also, really, grumpy Michael was ridiculously endearing, too.
Caspian waited patiently for him to get up, lowering his hands down to his sides once Michael was actually vertical. He wobbled over to him, Caspian holding up his arms expectantly, and then took ahold of Michael’s hand once he was close enough and the gloves were slipped on.
“You’re going to be just fine, hot stuff,” Caspian said breezily. “You’re overthinking it.”
He led them - slowly - out towards the ice, Michael’s hand held firmly in his. Caspian was more comfortable in skates than his other half, but he’d been skating before, whereas Michael hadn’t, not really. It felt kind of sweet to be the one who actually knew how to do something for once; he sort of wished he had a camera to keep it preserved for later posterity.
“We’ll ignore the kids,” said Caspian, and stepped over the low rail onto the ice, pivoting around until he was facing Michael again, letting go of his hand to beckon to him.
“Come on.”
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 1:20 pm
He tried not to grip too tightly to Caspian’s hand when he took hold of his own, not wanting to seem as desperate as he felt. He tried to keep his cool and not worry over the fact that he could easily fall and hurt one of the kids that insisted on zooming by them. Or injuring anyone, like Caspian. That would be horrible.
Michael kept his eyes on the ice in front of him, feeling stupid and out of sorts for not being naturally good at ice skating. He blamed it on his extra height, whereas Caspian was graceful and nimble and didn’t have to worry about losing his balance as much as Michael did.
A groan almost escaped as Caspian’s hand pulled away from his to turn in front of him, Michael glancing up from his feet to watch him warily. He did his best to keep his hands by his side, prepared to catch himself if he fell, but hopefully not making it obvious that was what he was trying to do.
“You should watch where you’re going,” he cautioned unnecessarily because there was no one behind Caspian and it was probably unlikely that anyone would get in his way. Still, it made him uneasy, and he shuffled himself along the ice to follow after him.
Caspian was lucky that he was even trying this to begin with.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 5:28 pm
Caspian’s expression could not have been more pleased.
Well, it could have, but that was beside the point. He was unbelievably happy at the present moment, even if Michael was still wearing one of his trademark grumpy faces, but even that was endearing to Caspian, who found them kinda hot even now (but truth be told, he’d found those surly expressions hot from their very first meeting).
“Don’t worry, I’m right here,” said Caspian soothingly, his feet wobbling a little in the skates as he inched backwards and Michael came forwards. On skates, he was several inches taller, which made him feel nice; but then again, so was Michael, so there was still a rather large gap in their appearances.
But still.
Caspian skated back a few more feet.
“You’re gonna do great,” he said, grinning widely. “Come on, handsome, you look like you want to just tumble over. It’s kinda like riding a horse, the ice can tell when you’re afraid of it.”
This, of course, was a load of bullshit, but Caspian was wearing a cat-ate-the-canary expression of pleasure, so really, it was a little obvious.
“Come onnnn,” he said cajolingly. “It’s just like walking, except on ice.”
That was a load of bullshit too.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 9:15 pm
”You’re right where I can fall on top of you and crush you. Of course I’m going to worry,” Michael pointed out with an uneasy scowl, if only because he knew Caspian was clearly enjoying himself and Michael had such a bad feeling about this whole endeavor. Balancing on thin blades wasn’t exactly something he was trained to do.
And yet, he tried not to let that damn cheery grin of Caspian’s get the better of him, and he tried even harder to keep frowning, even though he could feel the corners of his mouth twitching against his will.
“I know how to skate. That doesn’t mean I’m very good at it,” he admitted as he inched forward after Caspian, shaking his head at Caspian’s teasing theatrics. Ice knowing fear and that it was just like walking. This was nothing like riding a horse.
Michael pushed himself to glide after Caspian a little faster and very nearly lost his balance, but managed to remain upright even as he made a face at the effort to do so.
“Come here and hold my hand so I don’t look ridiculous following after you,” he finally said, exasperated when he wobbled dangerously, wondering if maybe he hadn’t tied the skates well enough.
“You never told me what you did for Thanksgiving,” he then said, trying to distract himself from potentially slipping and killing himself. “You know I wanted to stay, but my grandmother was already giving me a hard time. And I didn’t want to feed you to the wolves. Again…”
Not that his immediate family ended up making that big a deal over things. If anything, they were giving Michael a hard time about his apparent issues than Caspian.
“They like you, you know. My family,” he mumbled, reaching to take hold of Caspian’s hand before he could skate away from him. He just didn’t want to admit that they probably thought Michael was a bad choice for Caspian.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:45 am
”You’ve been on top of me before and haven’t crushed me,” said Caspian, and there was now a s**t-eating grin on his face that was also slightly less successful because there was a faint blush across his cheeks too. But really, he was enjoying himself far too much, Caspian catching sight of Michael’s attempts at not smiling. He was getting to him, slowly, but surely, which was always a bonus.
“Not everything has to be good, you just have to have fun with it,” Caspian said, but the request to hold Michael’s hand made the blush deepen, and he couldn’t resist that even if he wanted to tease Michael more. He slid forward, skates jutting across the ice, and reached for Michael’s fingers, sliding his own down and tangling them together firmly.
“You’re fine,” he said, smiling up at Michael. “I ended up going to visit my mom with Cassie, very low key. As for feeding me to the wolves…”
He bit back another suggestive comment that had popped up - apparently spending more time with Michael meant that some of that was rubbing off on him - Caspian holding tighter to Michael’s hand as the two of them slowly made their way around the first bend of the rink, slowly inching past the wall.
“They’re...well, I mean, I don’t dislike them, it’s just new. I like Peter,” Caspian added. “Don’t tell him that. I mean, I like all of them, really? I think…? I don’t know them well enough. But…”
His shoulders rose and fell in a self-conscious shrug.
“I worry they’re gonna think badly of me because I’m...well, y’know.”
Young. Inexperienced. Short.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 2:09 pm
”Ha ha,” Michael said sarcastically as he took hold of Caspian’s hand, shaking his head at the suggestive comment. He decided not to add that in previous times was completely different than falling on top of him while on skates above the hard ice. The blushing amused him, but he wasn’t so mean as to try and embarrass him even more in public.
“I am having fun. As long as I’m with you,” he added, giving Caspian’s hand another small squeeze before clearing his throat a little, making sure he didn’t tumble on the turn, and he definitely didn’t want to pull Caspian down with him.
“And… I never, uh… asked where you were from… before,” he said a bit sheepishly, but he’d promised himself that he would go beyond just trying and actually doing. The conversations he’d had with both Peter and his father made him realize that he really needed to step up his game if he was going to commit to being with Caspian like he wanted. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized how little he really knew about Caspian’s life before meeting him.
Not that Michael thought it mattered in the long run. Just as Michael didn’t want to talk about his past, he wasn’t going to make Caspian talk about anything he didn’t want to. But he knew that the less they knew about each other, the more they would have to overcome in the future.
“Where is home for you?” he asked, hoping it wasn’t too much. But he shook his head when Caspian voiced his concern about what Michael’s family thought about him.
“They’re not going to think badly of you, Cas. Because you’re ‘y’know’ what? Charming with bad jokes?” he teased lightly, knowing that it was a sensitive subject. Caspian had always been self-conscious after all. “Peter already knows you like him, so don’t worry about that.”
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 9:37 pm
He couldn’t help but feel the thrill of it all; something as simple and couple-ish as ice skating together, and yet it made his heart feel lighter and happier than it had been for months. Everything - Michael, their engagement, even Michael’s family arriving at the cabin unceremoniously - all of it was enough to set Caspian’s heart on fire every time he thought about it.
He shouldn’t have been so lucky, and yet here he was.
“Well, good,” he said, blushing all the more brightly, except Caspian was staring determinedly ahead, pretending that he was definitely not as red as a tomato. “You’re gonna be with me for a long time, so if that’s the case, you’re gonna have assloads of fun.”
He turned his head a little, enough to catch the sheepish tone in Michael’s voice. Caspian’s brows rose a little, but he said, “We’re from here, sort of. My mom lives in Manhattan now, though, her name’s Zoe. She’s all fancy and stuff, it’s kinda why Cassie and I can afford to have a townhouse to ourselves, ‘cause Mom helps pay for it and all that. She wants to make sure that we’re living well, even if we’re independent and all that.”
His mother was the great inspiration in his life; Zoe Lyons was a firecracker of a woman, a single mother who’d raised her two kids from birth, and Caspian loved her more fiercely than he loved anything or anyone else, save for Michael. A vibrant and energetic person, she’d always brought life and light into their household, and had never questioned or discouraged her children from doing exactly what they wanted to do, as long as it was (mostly) safe.
“That’s easy,” said Caspian, without looking at Michael, because his cheeks were red and he was determinedly trying to skate forward without losing Michael to the ice. “Home is wherever you are.”
It felt unbelievably sappy to say it aloud, but he couldn’t take it back now. Caspian let out a snort of amusement, grateful for the topic change. Sort of. It meant going back to all of the insecurities that he couldn’t quite seem to bury properly, in spite of all of his efforts to do just that.
“Well, s**t, my cover’s blown,” he deadpanned, meaning Peter. “But I mean...none of your family thinks it’s weird that you want to be with me? I mean…”
Just look at me, was the unspoken rest of the sentence, Caspian lapsing into silence as he skated a few steps forward, tugging on Michael’s hand gently to encourage him to follow.
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:20 am
“Huh…” Michael let out a thoughtful, half amused, half bitter breath, “I guess you’re not as much of a stray as my family assumed you were…”
There was a pause as Michael realized how that probably sounded not that great, and then he continued, doing his best to keep his eyes on the ice while holding onto Caspian’s hand.
“It’s stupid, really. As if we’re better than anyone else because my family has money. I guess it was a running joke that my mother was a stray and my father took her in. It’s not like she was homeless. Her family was middle class, but because she wasn’t a socialite already, she was considered a stray.”
Michael shook his head, knowing how it all probably sounded to Caspian, and that he was getting himself into this family. He supposed he should let him know before anyone called him a stray.
“They don’t mean anything bad by it. And my mother doesn’t seem to care. At least not any more. It did take her about five or so years before my father convinced her to give him the time of day. Thankfully she gave in, otherwise we wouldn’t be standing here,” he said with a grimace. “They called Paris a stray when Chris started dating her. So… don’t be surprised if they pull that bullshit on you.”
It made him uncomfortable even though he knew there was no real harm in it. But he could see very clearly how demeaning it could sound.
“Don’t get all cute with me, smartass,” Michael said with a snort when Caspian commented on where his home was, but it earned him a kiss to his hand, and Michael held his hand up to his mouth to let it linger.
“My family seems more concerned with the fact that I’m unstable and have refused help,” he admitted, mumbling against Caspian’s hand before he could shut his mouth or make up another excuse, but it was important that Caspian knew it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Michael, if there were any problems.
“It has nothing to do with how you look, or your age, or your sexuality. They’re pretty open about things like that.”
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:10 am
The stray comment made Caspian glance sideways at Michael, brow furrowing as he slowly slid one foot next to the other. Skating was easy, really; it was similar, in a wide respect, to skateboarding, because it was all about balance. And despite Caspian’s tendency towards recklessness, balance was something he was used to, which meant that he had a knack for staying on his feet.
Mentally, however...he seemed to be continually knocked off balance by Michael on a daily basis.
“What, you mean because my family’s not rich?” Caspian asked, letting out a little snort. “I mean, we’re not millionaires, no, but my mom’s managed to hold her own all this time, which is pretty cool.”
He shot Michael a suspicious sort of look. “Your family isn’t like that old southern-y type of family that basis everyone’s worth on wealth are they? I mean,” he added, “That’s not, like, you know. I love you. And I like Peter, and I like Chris, and I like the rest of your family. I just - they’re not what I’m used to.”
At all, he thought, somewhat gloomily. They were bound to find his attachment to their son and brother and nephew to be strange or warped or twisted or stupid or just puppy love, which Caspian found revolting. Just because he was younger than Michael didn’t mean that he didn’t understand how he felt about him. Caspian had spent a long time trying to convince himself otherwise, in fact.
The kiss to his hand made his ire melt a little, Caspian’s expression softening. He curled his fingers more securely around Michael’s and said quietly, ”Are you going to get help?”
He wanted Michael to not wake with nightmares, or to keep holding onto whatever past there was that he was mired in. Caspian knew a good chunk of it by now, he knew, but whatever else was in Michael’s heart had been there so long that it wouldn’t take just a day to get it all out.
“For the record,” said Caspian blithely, a group of giggling teenage girls skating past them. “I don’t even know what the ******** my sexuality is, I don’t even really care what it is. It’s just - it is what it is. I have you. And I’m twenty, and I look twenty, or sixteen, or whatever, and I play volleyball and I’m not rolling in dough, but…”
He gave a self-conscious shrug. “That’s who I am.”
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:35 am
He could see the sideways glance he received for his comment, and again when Caspian looked at him suspiciously. Michael just shrugged in response, not really liking everything, but also knowing it was more complicated than he made it seem.
“I’ll let you decide that on your own,” he said as he lowered his and Caspian’s hand from his mouth as he shuffled along the ice. “You’re not the first to say that, you know. About my family not being what you’re used to. It’s one of the reasons my mother stayed away from my father for so long. Not because of him, but because of his family.”
Michael paused and let out a small breath as he shook his head. He knew Caspian wasn’t like his mother, but in a lot of ways, Michael was afraid that once Caspian finally met his family, he would decide it was too much. It was as though they were in their own little world sometimes. They had their own problems sure, but it wasn’t anything like the things normal people worried about. And as much as Michael might like to lie to himself about how he was normal, being a Gallo meant that he wasn’t.
As for the comment about getting help, Michael didn’t respond right away. “I don’t know,” he finally said, feeling guilty for saying it, but figuring it was better than lying to Caspian and telling him that he would when he actually wasn’t. Personally, he thought he was doing just fine on his own, but his father and Peter insisted he needed professional help.
“For the record,” Michael parroted, “I don’t care what your sexuality is either. And please, you do not look like you’re sixteen.” Maybe a little. But how Caspian looked was only a part of why Michael fell for him. Most of it was everything else, even if he thought Caspian was attractive.
“Who you are is my fiance. And th -” he started, but at that moment stumbled on the ice and went crashing down onto his butt, although he managed to pull his hand away from Caspian’s before he could drag him down as well.
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:47 pm
He was trying very hard not to be judgemental about Michael’s family, especially since he hadn’t been lying when he said he did like Peter and Chris and…well, the Gallo parents hadn’t been terrible, and Paris had been okay, he guessed, though very much a baby person. Not that babies were bad, Caspian just wasn’t really...ready...for any children anytime soon.
He’d like them from afar.
Caspian let out a breath that was visible in the chill skating rink air. “Your family is kinda...weird,” he admitted. “But I mean, I think I can deal with them okay as long as I don’t have to deal with them every day and all that. I’m not actually sure how all of you Gallo brothers grew up together and didn’t actually strangle each other. Chris looks like he’s about to collapse if a feather blew him over, and Peter is well...Peter. And you’re stubborn,” he added, with a look at Michael, tone affectionate in spite of his words. “It feels like you should have squabbled to death as kids.”
The silence between them stretched a little as Michael considered the question, Caspian wondered if he’d pushed too far. But considering that they were engaged, he wasn’t about to back down now, and he didn’t have any regrets about going there. If they couldn’t talk about the serious things now, before, then they would never be able to talk about them after.
“You should,” said Caspian simply. “I mean - Michael, I love you, but I want you to...to feel good, y’know? I want you to...just…” He shrugged a shoulder, skates skidding a little on the ice. A couple sped past, hand in hand, looking starry eyed at each other, and Caspian instinctively tightened his grasp on Michael’s fingers. “I don’t want you to feel bad anymore.”
He let out a small snort. “You’re biased as s**t, you know that right? I - “
Whatever else either of them had been going to say ended the second Michael came crashing down. Caspian skidded to a halt, spraying flakes of ice, and twisted around, trying very hard not to laugh as he reached out a hand, one balanced on the rink wall, one stretched out to Michael.
“You, uh. You okay?” He asked innocently, clearly fighting a smile.
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 7:07 pm
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Michael grumbled and winced as he attempted to push himself back up onto his feet, waving off Caspian’s hand for the time being as he didn’t want to pull him down, too. It was harder than he expected to get back up onto his feet since he kept sliding every time he tried to push himself up, and eventually, very warily, reached up to take hold of Caspian’s hand, one of his skates braced against the wall to hopefully help with his footing.
“Don’t laugh,” he warned, although he sounded and looked more embarrassed than angry. “I’m not very good at this,” he repeated, grabbing hold of the wall so he could get back up onto his skates and try to brush off the already melting ice flakes from the seat of his pants.
“Thanks,” he frowned, avoiding eye contact with anyone else who might have been snickering to themselves over his graceless fall.
“So you’re saying being weird is bad?” he wondered, raising an eyebrow at Caspian as Michael rested against the edge of the rink, obviously stalling in going back out onto the ice. He didn’t dare mention how it was a case of the pot calling the kettle black when it came from Caspian. Not that he thought Caspian was weird… but he happened to not think his family was weird, either.
“We didn’t grow up together,” he said simply, looking down at his skates as if inspecting them to make sure they were okay. “I left for the Academy when I turned seventeen. Chris was ten, Peter was barely two. Peter has always gotten on Chris’s nerves,” he explained, although he was sure Peter only did what he did because he desperately craved attention from his older brother. “They butt heads all the time. Then Chris left home to live on his own when he was eighteen. Peter was ten. That was the year I left the Navy.”
He shook his head as he thought about it, knowing it was pretty shitty for both him and his father to focus on the Navy when their family needed them. It was about duty and honor and helping others and the greater good.
And a lot of good it did him.
“I was gone for all of their childhoods, Cas. Peter only moved in with me a couple years ago, just before he started high school.”
It was probably pretty obvious that he felt guilty for not being there for his brothers when he knew that they both looked up to him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t as great as they assumed he was. Peter, he was sure, has already discovered that about him from living with him.
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