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My last entry was...angry, confused, and hurt-filled.
Despite how old I get, I still have those moments. Germany was a blessing but wrecked me in more ways than I can count. Mentally I still have those scars...and I am working on it, but, I don't see them going away anytime soon.

The wife has been playing Harvest Moon...and it's so cute to see her having fun with something like that. Because of the new game she has been hogging my Nintendo Switch- but it's just too adorable for me to get mad at sweatdrop

Therapy this week with the wife was an eye-opener. It showed me how the military has made my wife rather "uncaring" when it comes to certain courtesies. But she is just being a good soldier...she adapted to her mission. I can't blame her for that. But therapy also showed me where a lot of my faults are...not that I ever thought I was always right, but it opened my eyes to a few things I didn't realize before.
The good relationships...intimate or no, are the ones you work on. Therapy is a struggle at times. My anxiety makes it nearly impossible to leave a session feeling totally accomplished, and things like my paranoia make me wonder if my therapist even likes me (which is dumb I know). But it's progress...because I have something worth fighting for.

Um...I was still really being childish before. Much as I like to point the finger at the wife for lingering on her past, I linger a lot on mine as well. It's because I despise what I consider "failures" in my life. I'm not quick to give up on anything...and it evolves into an obsessive habit which is not healthy...and it doesn't really help anyone.

But this lazy weekend has given me time to think. There are def a lot of new things that have popped up...and I'm starting to understand some things. I feel better...I really do.