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Life has been getting to me lately. There is just so much going on in my life and going on in my head.
I keep hearing the words: "Channel that stress into something. Do something constructive." But all that shows me is a lack of people understanding how complex the human mind can really be.

I mentioned awhile ago that so many things cannot be solved with saying: "Get over it" or similarly: "Let it go."
There are certain situations when this just can not be done. But at least a few people understand this. Still, all the bitterness I feel...and all the chaos going on has made me bitter lately. It has made me snappy, and I have been lashing out at a lot of people because I just don't feel like my life is in control anymore.

So...the wife is getting out of the military next year. But I don't feel like we are ready. We still don't know what job she will find or how we will afford a home (let alone our other bills). We owe so much on credit cards and medical bills rights now that there is not really a light at the end of the tunnel (atm).
We have cut out all our extra costs (Gym, hulu, netflix, world-of-warcraft)---but where we live is pretty expensive.

There are other things as well...but my main concern is that my wife and I just are not responsible enough and adult enough to really make it work. Maybe it will change in a year...but as of right now, I don't really have much hope.

It has me thinking about what lead me here...it has me lingering on a past I shouldn't. And I guess what pisses me off is not the fact that there are people that think I dont deserve closure...but it's the people that thought that wanting to get in contact with someone again means that I want to cheat on my wife? Like WTF?!?

I would never do that sad
And it just made me feel so awful knowing that people could ever see me as that person. Bah...

But I have been acting childish...and I'm trying to be better.