I had to call my ex....
Yup. Got a notice today from my Mother saying that a bank account with my name AND her name had a bounced payment and therefore we had received a fee. To clarify, this was a bank account I had not used since 2012, this was a bank account I had been TOLD was deactivated by her, and this was a bank account that should NOT still have my name on it because I dont have the card, have not been getting new cards, have not been logging into or accessing funds with in ANY way.
So I had to call the bank since my Mother had tried to call and they basically told her that she could not ask about acct details since she wasnt a signer (and that makes sense). So I called the bank, and sure enough...my name was still on the account. So I had to explain to the woman that I wanted my name removed from the account, had to summarize WHY I wanted my name removed from the account (you know, because the woman is my ex, was terribly abusive, she is married to someone else, and I am married as well as living in a completely different state). Should be a smooth process...right? WRONG.
Without going into too much drama and conversation, the woman sympathized with me, but, bank policy states that in order for me to get my name removed from the account, I would have to physically step into a local branch WITH the other signer (aka my ex). Yeah...that is NEVER going to happen. The other option was to either contact my ex and tell her to close the acct and get one in her own name OR I could close the acct over the phone.
So why didnt I close it? Because that would put my ex's funds on hold...
It would ******** up her bills, it would block her paychecks, it would mess up a lot of things and might even mess with her credit. I may not like the woman (I hate her) but I'm not a ******** monster. Plus, she has kids...and really, the kids were the biggest factor in my decision. Much as I hate my ex...much as talking to her made me tremble in fear while my cheeks flared because of rage and anxiety, I wanted to be the bigger person. At first she tried to ask that we keep the account because it has been fine for 7 years...but I stood my ground. I want NOTHING to do with her...not even a bank acct with my name on it. I made it clear it made me uncomfortable and that I would close the actc if she did not want to cooperate.
She thanked me for not ******** her over, she said to give her a few months (since she has military training that will mean she cant do it for a few months) and that she would take care of it. She wasnt happy...but wasnt mean about it. I tried to make it brief since hearing her voice made me want to retch. But it's done. But now I have to contact her in a few months and make sure it is finished and done with. And I did warn her that if it wasnt done then I would close it myself.
It could still backfire on me...it could still come back to bite me in the a**, and honestly, with everything else going on in my life...this was the last thing I needed but it's done now (for now).
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TL;DR
My ex is an idiot and lied about closing a bank acct so my name has been on an active bank account for 7+ years and I am just now finding out. Also I had to call her to resolve the issue and I hate it.
