GoddessDivine
questa notte
Used to self harm, ice and salt was my favorite. I relapse occasionally. I'm really, actually happy now.
People don't
really want to hear my story, so I won't waste my time.
Also, the only thing that TWLOHA has done right, imo, is sell shirts for Casey Calvert.
Salt and ice is something that I haven't heard or seen before. Would you mind explaining?
Actually, if you'd be willing, I'd be very intrigued and moved to read your story. So, you're very welcome to post it if you feel comfortable enough to.
You put salt on ice and press it to your skin. Burning sensation, and it can scar if you hold it there long enough. First heard of it on a forum where people were burning themselves some cute-shaped scars.
Exactly five years ago, this chick got me involved with this plot to lie and betray the group that we had, about twenty or so of my peers. I got involved, unknowing of what she was doing. There was this silly story that we made up, and we were just so lonely, all of us, that we just wanted to believe it so bad. It had something to do with an alternate universe, that I don't remember too well now, I believe I repressed the memories. Anyhow, I guess I started losing my mind. I couldn't tell the difference from being awake or asleep, I'd zone out into this AU, and not notice that my body was just robotically getting through each day.
But when we were 'found out' or moreso, I guess, when that chick came clean with everything, the world that we wanted to believe in, for the lack of childhood, almost, was pretty shattered. She and I were outcasted, and for some reason, she hated me. The things we do for attention. I guess I wasn't exactly stable, I don't really have much idea. I'm telling you what I can gather from the things I wrote at the time. From having a bunch of friends, to none, it was a shock, and as far as the rest of the school, they didn't want anything to do with the 'smart class' so it was pretty much lonerdom for me.
Hence the cutting. Hence the 60+ hours a week on the internet. Hence the salt and ice.
And a year and a half later, it wasn't getting any better. Moving to a new school brought friends, but the feeling that they were pity friends didn't help, really. I guess I didn't really stop until I found out that my best friend really did care about me, and we spent so much time together that I couldn't remember that I was sad, that I couldn't remember what had happened before.
Relapses happened, of course. A falling out with the best friend, and a mending of that.
The best friend doesn't have time for me anymore.
I'm happy, now, actually. I don't know where it came from, but for a whole month now, I've been on top of the ******** world. I'm making a game, writing a novel, doing better with music than I ever have before, getting my a** in gear with schoolwork, and you know, the occasional attention from a certain guy, which is always fun times.