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The title sounds a lot deeper than what this journal will be. Because there isn't really much to say other than what has been said above: Life is a balancing act.
Ever since I found out that my wife was getting out of the military we have had to really break it all down to the things we need to do and take care of, and ultimately, finances was the thing we worried about the most...

>Will we be able to pay our bills?
> Can we even start saving for a house?
>Will we make enough to have a savings at all?

I think literally at one point my wife sat down and calculated it all and said that if I was working part-time that she would still need to make something paying nearly $15+ and hour if we were just to survive. It was a scary moment, very eye-opening for sure. And as someone that hasnt held a job in 2 years...well, it was terrifying. But somehow it all worked out..I did what I do best and I just made it happen. I got a job.

So I have been working full-time in teleservices making $11 and hour with the option of benefits after 90-days. And while at first I felt alive with the spark of having a purpose, that spark soon died as I was tossed back into the reality of why I hate working. Mostly it comes down to lies and corrupting...things like piss-poor training and large expectations, crappy work conditions, and shitty management...the usual. But then there was the balancing of my work and my life.

In 2-years I have made a ton of friends and have also earned myself some leadership opportunities in some communities. This is all voluntary of course, but it is something I committed myself on. Then with my friends there were those commitments of late-night gaming or gaming events...just getting to spend time with them. And being married there is my love-life to think about as well. And I think my biggest problem has been in working to find that balance.

I struggled the first few weeks in trying to make time for the wife but also getting enough sleep...but also trying to stay up-to-date with gaming stuff, and balancing my community duties all the while trying to talk with my friends. It got extremely overwhelming very quickly. Now it's a matter of conflicting schedules with the wife and my friends also having to work...and I did not miss the adult struggle one bit. Now I remember why I could not do any serious gaming for so long, and it literally boils down to there never being enough time.

But I will admit that having a paycheck has been nice. Being able to help contribute towards things like groceries and bills is a good feeling and does take a huge weight off my wife...but another balancing act has been with the responsibilities in the house. Now that I'm not always around it's been hard deciding who should do what. Who takes out the garbage? Who is gonna do the shopping? Make dinner? Do laundry? It's supposed to be an equal effort but turns into a huge mess since we aren't exactly sure how to coordinate it all.

All-in-all it has been a huge change and I'm still getting used to it.

It doesn't help that the job has been killer for my health. For 3 weeks now I have been coughing hacking and wheezing due to allergies, the dust at work, being around people in general. My muscles have suffered, my back hurts, and my everything is tense with stress. The coughing bothers me most and I groan to think part of my day off might be spent getting diagnosed to do something about it so that it's just one less thing to worry about. Still...that's just another part of the balancing act I suppose.

But the job will get easier...my health will hopefully improve, and I will learn to manage my time more effectively to do the things I enjoy the most. It's just gonna be the struggle getting to that point which is the real test.

We shall see, we shall see...