A memory of the past,
A phase and a trigger...
Discovery, love, and pain...
All things that made me better, made me bigger.
When only poetry seems appropriate,
For a place such of this to hold,
Voices with which I no longer associate,
So many stories and dreams were told.
But I matured and grew,
I stayed naive for so long,
I still wonder if some things she said were true,
How many times will I sing the same song?
Was there ever meant to be closure?
Is this why I come back to such things?
Or do I come here just to laugh at myself...
And chuckle at the nostalgia this place brings?
Certain thoughts now allude me...
That chapter has long since passed.
How I wish I could tell of all my crazy adventures...
If only you would have asked.
But grudges are too strong for some,
Dark memories hold like glue.
Age and experience was our language barrier...
Something I wish you knew.
But everything happens for a reason I suppose.
A phase and a trigger...
Discovery, love, and pain...
All things that made me better, made me bigger.
When only poetry seems appropriate,
For a place such of this to hold,
Voices with which I no longer associate,
So many stories and dreams were told.
But I matured and grew,
I stayed naive for so long,
I still wonder if some things she said were true,
How many times will I sing the same song?
Was there ever meant to be closure?
Is this why I come back to such things?
Or do I come here just to laugh at myself...
And chuckle at the nostalgia this place brings?
Certain thoughts now allude me...
That chapter has long since passed.
How I wish I could tell of all my crazy adventures...
If only you would have asked.
But grudges are too strong for some,
Dark memories hold like glue.
Age and experience was our language barrier...
Something I wish you knew.
But everything happens for a reason I suppose.
------------------------------------
Every once in awhile I find myself drawn to this place. I might see an ad on Facebook or something that brings me back to check things out and see what's new. I can never tell if maybe this place feels nostalgic, empty, or just pitiful? It's really hard to tell.
Every time I log in, there are a lot of mixed emotions. Since I joined in 2005 (Holy s**t 12 years) so much has happened. I feel like Gaia really got me through my awkward teen years. Not only was it the place where most of my writing skills flourished (due to role-playing and etc), but if I had to at least give credit to something for my coming out as a homosexual...well s**t...Gaia was a big part of that too.
I experienced so much of the news, the media, and getting involved in events that mattered to me and my life because I found out about them through Gaia first. But, while I have all these profound and amazing memories of this place...some of my worst memories are here too.
Damn...
I broke a lot of hearts. I was young and stupid...that little person with severe social anxiety that would rather make up a lie than suffer the consequences of the truth. I was in high school though. Geez. I have changed so much since then. My life so much clearer...no longer blinded by hormones, by dreams of a Romeo x Juliet-type of love. I'm no longer in an abusive relationship that I sought so desperately because my first heartbreak happened. Gaia has been there through it all.
I shake my head and half of me is laughing at myself and the other half is uncomfortable. But who knows? I might come back: update my profile, stalk some forums for a bit. You never know.
But for old-time's sake and memories...I decided to wipe off the dust and try and write some poetry. sweatdrop
Enjoy?
