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1.2.2008

Alright...so I feel kinda stupid starting out the new year with a new phase, but I find that it is inevitable. *smiles* Well I talked to you on the phone today (and you know who you are-) and it makes me feel dumb because I was so boring. I thought that perhaps I should have waited a bit before I called you, but I couldn't take my mother's nagging nor my sister's vomitting anymore!
But I have a reason for me being boring. Like I said...I'm still bashful towards you, still shy. Text is no big deal- but when I'm actually listening in to your expressions and your reactions to conversations, I panic because I want you to think of me like you think of me online. I still want you to feel the same way that you type- I still want your undying love and that passion that we share through written words.
Either way, I thank you for putting up with me, and I still do hope that this New Year (in a sense) can be a breath of fresh air for us, I hope it brings multiple surprises for us, and if there comes a time where we have our differences, let us surpass those obstacles and come out unscathed just like we always have. I love you so much...so yeah.
I just feel so empowered online, so strong- then when on the phone I feel that I have to hide that dominating personality because it reminds me too much of the way I used to be~

That night we kinda fought. That was a night when I felt that I was just wasting your time- and I went back to my old personality. That was a night when no-one was good enough for me, and I wasn't good enough for them. And I feel guilty because every issue I have that may include you or anything I feel like I need to vent...but not in the best of ways.
But when you got online that next morning...if it would have been in the real world I would have held onto you forever I swear. It's like I could feel you there in my arms and I just wanted to whisper that I was sorry...over and over-because you are my world, and if ever you leave- I will have nothing, no-one could ever compare to you, you are that amazing.

But I will admit, you're not the only one I compliment or who I have ever said that I liked...but what we have (even though it's not as much as we could have) it's so much different from everything and everyone else that I have ever come in contact with. I love you...and I could never say it enough. These phases are bits of my heart that I type out just for you so that you may cherish and protect them. Promise to hold them close?

- Yours (now and forever),
Dustin L. Long a.k.a= (Dustball, buttface, Dust, Dude, Person, and Dustbunny~) heart


1.8.2008=

I can't belive how happy I became,
just to hear your voice when I called,
just to be able to once again mutter your name.
I almost sobbed, no almost bawled!

You laughed at me for it,
but that's ok,
I'll shrug it off a bit,
I'm just glad that I was somehow able to make you smile.

Too bad we couldn't talk longer,
in a sense-I think I had something really important to say,
but it's alright,
I find it better to keep these feelings at bay.

Do you like all these entries?
The one's I made just for you?
I love you so much you silly girl,
so what else could I really do?

I wrote a very long poem,
but I threw it away,
so now I write another,
but in the end I will pay,
because- the other one went much deeper.

Christmas break was so sad,
I had to work so much.
I barely spoke to you which was bad,
but I'm glad we haven't lost touch.
I would die without you I swear.

So now I complete this random bit of blah,
just laughing to myself as I read it over,
I think next I'll write a law:
NO MORE POETRY WRITING FOR DUSTIN WHEN HE'S HAPPY LIKE THIS!!!!

[END]