lKita
Hi, I'm Morgan.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and 6 months on the 12th.
I've made a couple forums for my relationship issues, seeking opinions of Gaians.
So, I'll come again, say some basic things.
- He currently lives in Canada. I, Texas.
- He lives with his uncle. His parents died in a wreck when he was younger. His uncle was the only one that would take him in. His uncle is very strict. Like no electronics whatsoever. I'm lucky he lets my boyfriend on the computer.
- I've never heard his voice. Because his uncle won't let him call me. He's tried a payphone.
- I only have two pictures of him.
- We haven't met yet.
- The fact that we might not EVER meet, is killing me inside.
With that out of the way, I don't plan on giving up at all. Because I do love him with all my heart, and there are details that I can't give out with his situation. But I'm going to try and save my paychecks to get my passport renewed and going to Canada for a week or something to spend time with him.
We've talked about having a family, our wedding, my wedding ring, I mean. It's great. I love dreaming about it. But I want it to be a reality one day.
But his uncle won't let him do ANYTHING and he is 22 years old. It's really upsetting. He should have some freedom. And bad things happen when he tries to call me or tells me about details in his life.
I was wondering if you've been in a long distance relationship, how do you deal? Did you ever meet your partner in person?
I'm trying my best here. It's just so hard. Because there's nothing in this world that I want more than him.
It's late and my brain is slow and scattered right now, but I want to reply to your post before I go to sleep and forget or something, so please don't mind as I toss whatever thoughts I have out there.
I was/am in a kind of similar situation. Different circumstances of course, but I can understand some of the things you are feeling right now as I've felt the same at one point or another.
Similar distances as well; I'm from Canada, my partner from Texas.
I havn't met my partner yet, again due to circumstances, but I have no doubt that it will happen in the future as soon as our situations allow; I even have a crude countdown towards it.
It's hard. Of course it is, it has to be. But even if it's hard, even if it might be easier to just give up, he's the one that really changed my life and I don't think I could go back to a time before him now that we have shared this connection for this brief time. So all there is left is to just keep going until we make whatever dreams we have together a reality.
Being both stubborn people, the way I've dealt with it is just not think about it too much and enjoy whatever we have now. I can't offer too many advice in that department since my relationship has been pretty unconventional as well so we never did do much of those things people in LDRs usually do. Like your case, we can't talk on the phone, but otherwise it's the opposite case with you that we can't talk on the computer, but we use IM on our phones.
As for payphones though, I'd suggest those long distance calling cards instead, or a voice/video chatting program on the computer, depending on to what extend his uncle allows him to use the computer for. Open up all possible ways of communicating if you can.
He's 22, he might not have his freedom right now, but I don't think that can last forever. There will come a time when he will have the things he should have. It might be sooner than you'd think, or it might take a while, but either way, it's not impossible. If it happens to be the latter, can you bring yourself to hunker down and wait? Even waiting has different approaches to it. You can be grudging at having to wait and drag your feet, or you can resolve yourself to it and simply hold on for the ride, or you can be optimistic and look forward to the end, or even forget the whole notion of waiting altogether and focus on it one day/week/month at a time. Not that there's a sure right or wrong approach, they are just different, and you decide what works best for you.
If you both are serious about being together someday, then have faith in eachother that you will make it happen together. It's ok to have doubts sometimes, it's okay to express those doubts as well, as long as after the crying and longing and despair, you are still getting up and going forward, then you have nothing to worry about.