Long Distance Relationsips (LDR) Support Thread

[Sophisticated Simplicity]

lividity girl

Siiiigh, I need a little LDR support.

My boyfriend and I have been together since December 3rd 2010; he is from Florida, I am from South Carolina. As far as distance can be, it isn't that bad. A seventeen hour train ride. The problem is that we had an unfortunate incident the last day I saw him in person (which was last December) and our relationship has been slightly strained since. It is important for us to see each other again in order to move on from it, or at least it is to me, but that is proving harder to do than we expected.

We had hoped to spend several weeks together this summer. However, that was before I took a job that has me working eight hours a day, six days a week and he learned he would have to have a surgery that has a recovery time of a month and a half. As soon as my hours decrease for work, he'll be having the surgery.

I am feeling very poorly about everything. It's already been six months since I've seen him, and with the snag in our trust, I feel like I need to see him even sooner. It just doesn't seem possible until months from now. I would take time off from work, but I wouldn't be able to get enough vacation time to actually justify spending hundreds on train/plane tickets to see him for such a short time. He would visit me as he recovers, but, inexplicably, the surgery is on his butt. Yep.

Thank you for reading this, if anyone does. I just miss him oodles, and I can't stand this being apart for months and months. sad

Personally, I think if you could beg, plead, or otherwise scrap together around a week's time, it'd be worth it to go and see your boyfriend. Sure, it'll be short and all, but considering how your relationship is right now, it'd be better to fix that right now instead of waiting and dragging the problem out even longer. Especially if it's a trust problem. A relationship is not going to work without trust, and if you think you can't repair that trust if you don't see him, which as you said could be months, I have to wonder if the problem is even going to be fixable by then.

[lividity girl]

Sophisticated Simplicity

lividity girl

Siiiigh, I need a little LDR support.

My boyfriend and I have been together since December 3rd 2010; he is from Florida, I am from South Carolina. As far as distance can be, it isn't that bad. A seventeen hour train ride. The problem is that we had an unfortunate incident the last day I saw him in person (which was last December) and our relationship has been slightly strained since. It is important for us to see each other again in order to move on from it, or at least it is to me, but that is proving harder to do than we expected.

We had hoped to spend several weeks together this summer. However, that was before I took a job that has me working eight hours a day, six days a week and he learned he would have to have a surgery that has a recovery time of a month and a half. As soon as my hours decrease for work, he'll be having the surgery.

I am feeling very poorly about everything. It's already been six months since I've seen him, and with the snag in our trust, I feel like I need to see him even sooner. It just doesn't seem possible until months from now. I would take time off from work, but I wouldn't be able to get enough vacation time to actually justify spending hundreds on train/plane tickets to see him for such a short time. He would visit me as he recovers, but, inexplicably, the surgery is on his butt. Yep.

Thank you for reading this, if anyone does. I just miss him oodles, and I can't stand this being apart for months and months. sad

Personally, I think if you could beg, plead, or otherwise scrap together around a week's time, it'd be worth it to go and see your boyfriend. Sure, it'll be short and all, but considering how your relationship is right now, it'd be better to fix that right now instead of waiting and dragging the problem out even longer. Especially if it's a trust problem. A relationship is not going to work without trust, and if you think you can't repair that trust if you don't see him, which as you said could be months, I have to wonder if the problem is even going to be fixable by then.

Thank you for the lovely response! I agree with you, and I would definitely do that if I was sure I could afford to see him again later in the year. I am going to try to get there for his birthday in early August; I have to give at least a month's notice at work. I just feel like a fussy baby. I want to see him now.

[sinnamon]

lividity girl

Thank you for the lovely response! I agree with you, and I would definitely do that if I was sure I could afford to see him again later in the year. I am going to try to get there for his birthday in early August; I have to give at least a month's notice at work. I just feel like a fussy baby. I want to see him now.

couldn't you claim a 'family emergency' of sorts? and not have to give a month's notice?
i know what it's like to be dedicated to your job. (i am the same way sometimes, but... in the end, if you need to be somewhere for someone that you foresee in your longterm future... what matters more? you know?)


that way you can spend time before his surgery, mend the bump in your relationship/communication, and give you peace of mind, and his surgery might hopefully be less stressful due to it.

just a thought.

[Obika]

raggsey2

Obika

I began a LDR in October. We met online.
I'm from roughly LA, and he Toronto.
We got engaged in April, I am moving in with him in June, and we're getting married in August.

It was hard, and I know that I have not been in one nearly as long as some other people, but I think it was totally worth it.

That's all very fast....

Yes, but to sound like an overplayed song, I know he is the one for me, and so I feel no hesitation in it all. We've been living together for about a month now and it's been perfect, in my sense of it all. ^^

[raggsey2]

Obika

raggsey2

Obika

I began a LDR in October. We met online.
I'm from roughly LA, and he Toronto.
We got engaged in April, I am moving in with him in June, and we're getting married in August.

It was hard, and I know that I have not been in one nearly as long as some other people, but I think it was totally worth it.

That's all very fast....

Yes, but to sound like an overplayed song, I know he is the one for me, and so I feel no hesitation in it all. We've been living together for about a month now and it's been perfect, in my sense of it all. ^^

gonk

[Patarr]

My girlfriend is a reg here, so she'll probably see my post..

But tonight's a rough night.

How do you cope with like PHYSICAL loneliness? Like you just want someones company, and to do something with someone and other than your bf/gf no one's around. Except in our case, our bf/gf's aren't around either.

Idk what to do or how to help and it's just eating away at me that I don't know what to do.

[Dante da Riva]

Seeing my man tonight and for 4 nights! heart So happy. He's been in training for 2 weeks and he's coming home tonight! I'm gonna get to his place before him and be there when he gets home. heart

[Shy Ahegao]

Finally met mine.
Leaving for home tomorrow and I feel like such a wreak because I've never been so happy before and I don't want to leave......

[DizzySnowFire]

So I have a question
You see I'm not in a relationship as of right now but I think I'm slowly starting to like someone who I have met on here.
Right now the only way I talk to him is through a hangout thread petty much on here
How do I make it not so awkward or obvious that I might have a something for him , but to somehow manage to talk to him a different way like Skype or fb?
It's just to really get to know him better and to see if I actually have these feelings sweatdrop
I already know what he looks like because of a tiny chat party and I would've heard his voice if my sound wasn't off so I know he isn't a fake (not that I would he was because of the place I met him but you never know)

[Luscious Lovebug]

Hi again. I don't know what to do. My move from Washington to Las Vegas has finally been completed. The trip I spent with my boyfriend before the move lasted 15 days. We were together 24/7 and it was amazing. Now, he's been gone for 2 days, and I feel empty and alone. I don't have friends in this city, so I don't even have anyone to help take my mind off it. I also don't have a job to occupy my time.

He promised before he left that we would skype every night, and he wouldn't stop texting me. We'd talk on the phone, etc. Since he's been home we've talked on the phone once. He's barely texted me. When I was texting him, he actually turned his phone off so I can't even contact him. We skyped last night, but I had to fight him to get him to do it. I don't understand why he's acting the way he is. He's the one who pushed me to move here... and now that I have it's like he's distancing himself from me. I really wish I'd never moved.....

Can anyone make some sense of this to me or something?...

[Kurisu Alba]

I don't mind how far someone is from be as long as they truly love me and I them. Bu sadly I have no one to love or be loved from D:

[Dashing Valentine]

I'm currently in a LDR. My boyfriend and I met on Gaia over 6 years ago. We've been together 4 of those 6 years. I can't honestly tell you how we've made it work, but we have. We've visited each other a few times before in real life. One day we do plan on living together and our last anniversary he got me a promise ring. x3

[Sophisticated Simplicity]

DizzySnowFire

So I have a question
You see I'm not in a relationship as of right now but I think I'm slowly starting to like someone who I have met on here.
Right now the only way I talk to him is through a hangout thread petty much on here
How do I make it not so awkward or obvious that I might have a something for him , but to somehow manage to talk to him a different way like Skype or fb?
It's just to really get to know him better and to see if I actually have these feelings sweatdrop
I already know what he looks like because of a tiny chat party and I would've heard his voice if my sound wasn't off so I know he isn't a fake (not that I would he was because of the place I met him but you never know)

Well, this is a thread for LDRs, not how to get into them, so my advice would be as good as any other person's on this matter. With that said, I think just do it progressively. If you only talk to him on the thread right now, then get into PMs. If that goes well, then off site. If you want to Skype with him, a Skype party with the people in your group/thread/whatever seems a good place to start. Then you'll have a reason to add him and talk to him more on there.