Long Distance Relationsips (LDR) Support Thread

[Golden Teaspoon]

Shadowed Prayer

I GOT MY FIRST LETTER FROM MY BEAR AT BOOT CAMP!!!!! heart

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!
emotion_kirakira

I remember that feeling.
C':

[felliscity]

I never thought of myself in a long distance relationship until I was reading through the types on the front page.

My partner and I have been dating for 3 years (Dec 09 - current), we recently became engaged and about a month prior he started a new job which required him to work FIFO (fly in fly out). For most of our relationship we have lived together, but at the same time he has had to work away for short amounts of time quite often.

-In our first year (Dec 09 - Nov 10), he would often be sent away for shut downs for a week at a time.

-In our second year, we lived apart for a month or two because of our living situation. (His parents kicked us out so we moved into his work's house, but partners weren't allowed so I moved towns to live with my parents and he organized to transfer workshops but they needed him over the christmas period so I didn't see him Nov 10 - middle of Jan 11). Then he got a new job at the end of the year (Nov 11) which required him to go on a 3 day shutdown every 2 weeks. He did that job until the start of December 12.

-Then he got a job which required him to be on a 3:1 roster. He did that for 3 months (Dec 12 - Feb 13) (mostly night shift) until the work ran out, and 2 days ago he left for an 8 day shutdown. He's currently on nightshift so I only get to speak to him when he gets home from work or before he eats "breakfast". Night shift sucks, my days just draaag.

It's not the ideal situation but his trade is a competitive industry and the money is in the mines at the moment. He is a Boilermaker does a lot of fixed plant contracts up in the mines. We are currently trying to save up enough money to buy a house and then we can get married (long story involving finance.)

[Mistress Ambie]

I've been in a LDR (on and off) for about a year and a half now. We met on Facebook in a group about personality types, started talking, I tried to 'fix' him and ended up falling for him instead, and then he admitted that he had feelings for me. We've been on and off because of communication problems and his parents not approving of the situation. But things are starting to look up. We might be able to meet in person for the first time in a couple (or few) months! Yaaaay!~ heart

[lola_lua]

I never knew this thread was here, and there are so many posts on it!

[nepko]

I've been in an LDR for two and a half years now. I haven't been to see my boyfriend yet but I'm hoping to get a job soon and have the money by September. I live in England, he lives in California.

I was wondering if anyone else had travelled that far alone? I'm really scared, excited, but scared of the journey. He should be picking me up from the airport and taking me back there and we'll be staying together all the time I'm there but I'm still worried. I'm only 17, he's 19. I'll be turning 18 this year hence wanting to visit. Are there any dos and donts for this kind of trip? Even though we haven't met, we're as close as could be. I know he isn't a dangerous person. We mic and cam every day, certainly more than the norm. I've had interaction with his family and he has with mine. I know for sure that he's legitimate so it's not a risk of HIM being a danger to me. I suppose I'm just worried about the flight and whatnot, also worrying about if something goes wrong and I have to get a taxi from the airport to the hotel or something. Eugh. I've travelled alone before but only by train and that was merely 200 miles. 5000 miles overseas is quite different.

[Missy Mau]

I am currently in a long distance relationship. We met our senior year of high school and we really hit it off. He ironically went to a college where I used to live (I moved away from there to be with my mom and I don't regret it at all).

The night before he left the first time, I had a nightmare that we were driving to some place with his sister and a friend of theirs and we were happy and everything. All of a sudden there was this lake that we didn't see and had never been there before. He was driving, couldn't stop in time, and drove right into the lake. We all got out okay, EXCEPT for him. I could she his shocked face and his hand reaching up toward me before he went too low. His friend dove down for him but came up and nodded his head. This nightmare was VERY vivid and all too real for me. I woke up sweating and utterly shocked. I saw him next to me, touched him and said to myself, "THANK GOD!". It was really just awful and I hugged him and started bawling. He woke up and comforted me and I calmed down after a bit.

I realized later on that the nightmare was a product of my fear of losing him. He's honestly the best boyfriend I've ever had (probably ever will have). I'd tried to do a LDR before and it ended two weeks after I moved after he called me and said it wasn't going to work (I thought he was perfect then). I was scared that it'd just end the way that one did.

Obviously it hasn't and it has been a year and a month-ish that we've been together. We're still as much in love as the first time we met, if not even more so.

We Skype everyday, practically 24/7. We leave our cams up when we sleep too. smile

He'll be back over the summer and I can't wait. I really miss him. <3

That is my success story. biggrin Hopefully it will forever be a success story.


I only have one question for you other LDRs:

Are there things that kinda annoy you a little when they are away that don't annoy you when they are home?

[Blackrose_Knight]

Okay, here is the skinny.

I am polyamorous (many loves) and I have had 3 romantic partners and a light kinda sorta ******** buddy thing for a long while: his name is M. After a good year of light ******** buddy action (no romantic strings) I admitted to M. that I loved him. He said he loved me back. The kicker, this was an hour before he left for Chicago for two years for grad school, and to live with his fiance (fiance knows and is okay with this)

So, here I am in a LDR. What do? My heart hurts a lot right now, where he moved to, is reopening some old wounds for me and a failed LDR I had with my high-school sweetheart.

[Sophisticated Simplicity]

Blackrose_Knight

Okay, here is the skinny.

I am polyamorous (many loves) and I have had 3 romantic partners and a light kinda sorta ******** buddy thing for a long while: his name is M. After a good year of light ******** buddy action (no romantic strings) I admitted to M. that I loved him. He said he loved me back. The kicker, this was an hour before he left for Chicago for two years for grad school, and to live with his fiance (fiance knows and is okay with this)

So, here I am in a LDR. What do? My heart hurts a lot right now, where he moved to, is reopening some old wounds for me and a failed LDR I had with my high-school sweetheart.

I guess this is one of those cases where you either choose to give up, or fight for it. It'll be tough to adjust to the change, but whatever it is you choose to do, with enough resolve you will get used to it eventually. Though, I think it would be a good idea to keep this separate from your past experiences, otherwise it'd be too easy to let the insecurity, fear, and whatever emotions those past relationships overrun your current one.

[Blackrose_Knight]

Sophisticated Simplicity

Blackrose_Knight

Okay, here is the skinny.

I am polyamorous (many loves) and I have had 3 romantic partners and a light kinda sorta ******** buddy thing for a long while: his name is M. After a good year of light ******** buddy action (no romantic strings) I admitted to M. that I loved him. He said he loved me back. The kicker, this was an hour before he left for Chicago for two years for grad school, and to live with his fiance (fiance knows and is okay with this)

So, here I am in a LDR. What do? My heart hurts a lot right now, where he moved to, is reopening some old wounds for me and a failed LDR I had with my high-school sweetheart.

I guess this is one of those cases where you either choose to give up, or fight for it. It'll be tough to adjust to the change, but whatever it is you choose to do, with enough resolve you will get used to it eventually. Though, I think it would be a good idea to keep this separate from your past experiences, otherwise it'd be too easy to let the insecurity, fear, and whatever emotions those past relationships overrun your current one.

We have both decided to fight for this. We talk daily via text message and email. He is getting a job, and bless his heart him and his fiance have dirt cheap rent as per his fiance is the manager's daughter. Trips back here, to home, we both call it, can come quicker.

After talking for most of the day (both our days off really) something in us both clicked, energies shifted again, there is a deep resolve to keep this relationship going. We are fighting and gods be damned I will see him home in two years.

[Eclectic Orion]

Sexts

I've been in an LDR for two and a half years now. I haven't been to see my boyfriend yet but I'm hoping to get a job soon and have the money by September. I live in England, he lives in California.

I was wondering if anyone else had travelled that far alone? I'm really scared, excited, but scared of the journey. He should be picking me up from the airport and taking me back there and we'll be staying together all the time I'm there but I'm still worried. I'm only 17, he's 19. I'll be turning 18 this year hence wanting to visit. Are there any dos and donts for this kind of trip? Even though we haven't met, we're as close as could be. I know he isn't a dangerous person. We mic and cam every day, certainly more than the norm. I've had interaction with his family and he has with mine. I know for sure that he's legitimate so it's not a risk of HIM being a danger to me. I suppose I'm just worried about the flight and whatnot, also worrying about if something goes wrong and I have to get a taxi from the airport to the hotel or something. Eugh. I've travelled alone before but only by train and that was merely 200 miles. 5000 miles overseas is quite different.

Oooh exciting. Traveling that far by yourself can be scary! Especially when the people you know at the other end are limited. If you're sure about him and believe in what you're doing, this is a big step! I just want to advise never traveling for reasons of meeting up with someone the first time without enough money saved away for a return trip. Things may be amazing right now, but you can never be 100% sure things are going to work out. The homesickness can get too much, you might not feel as comfortable in person - even work just might not pan out. ALWAYS have a backup plan. It's better to have that money, and find out you can use it to get settled because everything is perfect, than not have it and be stuck in a foreign country by yourself if things go south.

Worst-case scenario out of the way, on to the actual traveling!

Getting on the plane and actually getting there should be the easy part, although will certainly be nerve-wracking. Make sure that your carry-on luggage has a change of clothes, and essentials for a couple days, just in case something happens in-transit to your luggage. Also some U.S. cash if you can, though typically there is an exchange kiosk at the airport so if you have Euros you should be able to exchange it there. I'd say to be safe have the most you feel comfortable holding. I typically travel with about two hundred on me - but that's sometimes overkill. I've used as little as 20, and have never spent more than 80. You can sometimes find taxi fare finders online for certain areas, to help you estimate what a trip from the airport to the hotel will cost and plan accordingly.

Have emergency numbers on hand for when you land. His, a local cab company, maybe some of his family members if you've interacted with them. Airport workers can usually help you out with local numbers if you're patient and find a nice one, and typically open cabs hang out at gate departures - however I like to be prepared for the worst, haha.

KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO MEET BEFOREHAND. Can't stress this enough. The first time I traveled on my own - I had a panic attack because we relied on cell phones to meet up and she didn't hear hers for almost 30 min [plane landed early]. Having a set in stone place to meet up gives you a sense of security. Even if someone runs late, you know where they're going to be when they get there. Your boyfriend might be able to scout out a good place - something recognizable, like a restaurant in the pre-security area. [pre-security or arrivals area is important, he wont be able to get any further without a plane ticket].

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask or send me a message. My boyfriend lives in Montana for work - about 2500 mi. from me. I travel by plane a lot by myself. I've also taken multiple trips to Japan from East Coast U.S. solo.

[Lost RoyaIty]

I just replied so I can find this thread, since I am on phone.

[Pugnacious Banana]

i don't think i've posted here before.
i met my girlfriend here on gaia (technically we 'met' on msn messenger but she got my username from gaia) in 2007 and we have been in a happy long distance relationship since 2008. 4laugh
we will hopefully meet for real someday and be happy forever~ i know a lot of people in our situation have met physically a lot sooner but we both have a lot of stuff going on in our lives and i have social anxiety and self-confidence issues. sad
she lives in USA and i live in scotland. sometimes we talk on the phone for a long time and it's nice. we talk online every day a lot or through text messages or email if one of us can't be online.

i just wanted to share my happiness with anyone reading this. sweatdrop

[niceandhappy]

Pugnacious Banana

i don't think i've posted here before.
i met my girlfriend here on gaia (technically we 'met' on msn messenger but she got my username from gaia) in 2007 and we have been in a happy long distance relationship since 2008. 4laugh
we will hopefully meet for real someday and be happy forever~ i know a lot of people in our situation have met physically a lot sooner but we both have a lot of stuff going on in our lives and i have social anxiety and self-confidence issues. sad
she lives in USA and i live in scotland. sometimes we talk on the phone for a long time and it's nice. we talk online every day a lot or through text messages or email if one of us can't be online.

i just wanted to share my happiness with anyone reading this. sweatdrop

I met my bf on gaia on 2008 too :3 He's from India, I'm from Poland.
It took 4 years for us to meet in real, and I guess we will have to wait another year to meet again. razz
It's exhausting to wait so much, but it's totally worth it if it's the right person :3

[Zaplure]

Me and my LDR boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years. I was 12 when and he was 15 when we got together.. we have yet to see eachother, but hopefully he can visit this summer! biggrin He lives in California, and I in Ohio. Ugh im so excited! blaugh