Long Distance Relationsips (LDR) Support Thread

[pixelsmash]

My girlfriend and I have been in a LDR for about 6 months. We are supposed to be moving in together soon but lately, it feels like things are disconnecting. It's really hard not to be there to talk to her about things right there. The distance is really taking it's toll. It almost feels like she is changing a bit, she mentioned she had heard that before when her exes left her. She's really special though, so it's worth it to keep fighting though the bad things and I don't have plans to leave her. LDR are certainly hard but I know in the end it will be worth it.

[Izzy815]

What have others done when their partner asks to make it an open relationship because they're too sex-deprived? What if the other doesn't want this?

Obviously I'm in this situation right now and need some advice.

[laiinn]

Izzy815

What have others done when their partner asks to make it an open relationship because they're too sex-deprived? What if the other doesn't want this?

Obviously I'm in this situation right now and need some advice.

Well, you could suggest having cyber sex with them. It's actually pretty relieving. If you already have done this with him/her, then I'm not sure what to tell you. At least they're being honest but... I wouldn't be able to handle that if I were in your shoes. I'd get too jealous.

[Keifer_2008]

Ive tried these LDR's before and it's never worked for me. It is always the other person that loses interest or whatever.

How do people make these things work?

[Luscious Lovebug]

Hi there, my name's Bekkah. I've been in numerous long distance relationships before. All of them started on the internet, and I only ever met one person in real life. That relationship lasted 3 & 1/2 years. I couldn't give advice on how to make them work, because mine never went well... and so now I'm asking advice.

I'm 18, and my boyfriend is 17. I'm moving to Nevada this month, and he's staying here in Washington. He's my first, in really every sense. Physically, emotionally, etc... Now that the reality is sinking in, I'm having a really hard time coping with leaving. I could stay here, but my living situation has caused me to become suicidal. It's not safe for me to do so. Not only that, but it stresses me out, and causes me to take my anger out on him, which has caused us some problems in the past. Regardless, I'm having trouble seeing why these problems are more important than the problem of being away from him. I can hardly go a day without seeing him. I asked him if he wanted me to stay, and he said he knew I had to go. I don't know how to take that. Is he just a better person than I am? If our situations were reversed... I'd want him to stay.

[Sophisticated Simplicity]

Luscious Lovebug

Hi there, my name's Bekkah. I've been in numerous long distance relationships before. All of them started on the internet, and I only ever met one person in real life. That relationship lasted 3 & 1/2 years. I couldn't give advice on how to make them work, because mine never went well... and so now I'm asking advice.

I'm 18, and my boyfriend is 17. I'm moving to Nevada this month, and he's staying here in Washington. He's my first, in really every sense. Physically, emotionally, etc... Now that the reality is sinking in, I'm having a really hard time coping with leaving. I could stay here, but my living situation has caused me to become suicidal. It's not safe for me to do so. Not only that, but it stresses me out, and causes me to take my anger out on him, which has caused us some problems in the past. Regardless, I'm having trouble seeing why these problems are more important than the problem of being away from him. I can hardly go a day without seeing him. I asked him if he wanted me to stay, and he said he knew I had to go. I don't know how to take that. Is he just a better person than I am? If our situations were reversed... I'd want him to stay.

I guess it's a matter of what's better for you short term vs. long term. It seems that you have a lot of issues regarding yourself that you have to deal with, and personally I think it's always a better idea to focus on and work on becoming better yourself, because it would not be a very healthy relationship if you have so much baggage with you, especially when it's already affecting your relationship. Because if you think about it, if these problems persist, then in the end you might not even have a boyfriend to be with, or god forbid, there won't be a you to be with him, and that is certainly a much worse outcome compared to just being away from him.

[Earl Dante]

Hypothetical: If moving in with your partner would close the gap between your distance, how long do you think you should be dating before trying that?

It's hypothetical, like I said. My man and I are 3 hours apart, soon we may be 4. We cannot live together until like, next year at least, past our 6-month dating mark. I think that's enough time personally, but I'm curious what you guys thought.

[TJ SunBurst]

BlackRoseoftheSea

Hello all, this is Blackrose_Knight on a new account.

My LDR partner M. and I have been adjusting to our LDR-ness well. Both our spouses have been really good with us adjusting. Chryos, my husband, has been the best, he just lets me cry.

M. (my ldr partner) and I have been doing some kinky Dom/sub stuff which really works for me. It solidifies our relationship with power play. Generally, its kinky commands and pictures sent via phone to "prove" to him I have completed the task.

My thing is, he has indicated he wants to Skype chat, and I have this thing about hearing myself talk? I don't like it. I never have. I think this might push me to get over it though. Anybody have opinions of Skype? Is there better (free!) software available?

Skype is pretty good. If he uses headphones or a headset of some kind, you wouldn't hear yourself anyway. It would be like talking on the phone. You don't hear yourself unless its on speaker or some issue that gives an echo.

[TJ SunBurst]

Earl Dante

Hypothetical: If moving in with your partner would close the gap between your distance, how long do you think you should be dating before trying that?

It's hypothetical, like I said. My man and I are 3 hours apart, soon we may be 4. We cannot live together until like, next year at least, past our 6-month dating mark. I think that's enough time personally, but I'm curious what you guys thought.

I think it just depends on the people involved. I can't say much, as I moved within months - to different states. Certainly less than 6 months. Probably wasn't the wisest choice for me, but it depends how you two feel about sharing space together. If you do move together, I would keep a place open to fall back on - a friend to crash with, family - just in case things do start to quickly sour. So you can take a step away, contemplate and work out why it happened.

[Gungnier]

Izzy815

What have others done when their partner asks to make it an open relationship because they're too sex-deprived? What if the other doesn't want this?

Obviously I'm in this situation right now and need some advice.

Webcam sex.
Phone sex.
Roleplaying sex are some options. 3nodding


I met my boyfriend on a roleplaying site
I'm 20 and he's almost 18. I feel like a mini cougar. xD
Anyway, he live in PR, and I am in Colorado. I'm hoping he comes to the US for College next year so we can be together. I'm patient so I and him can get things ready and have enough money and all..but I sometimes fear he may like someone else by that time. I hope he loves me like he says and waits for me. It's just super hard to do this stuff y'know? I wanna cuddle him and see him already! xD And kiss and do all sorts of fun things and go on dates. Being 20, I sure as hell don't wanna wait like 5 years on him to see each other. u.u;
So kudos to everyone who's been dating their couple for so many years!

[Earl Dante]

TJ SunBurst

Earl Dante

Hypothetical: If moving in with your partner would close the gap between your distance, how long do you think you should be dating before trying that?

It's hypothetical, like I said. My man and I are 3 hours apart, soon we may be 4. We cannot live together until like, next year at least, past our 6-month dating mark. I think that's enough time personally, but I'm curious what you guys thought.

I think it just depends on the people involved. I can't say much, as I moved within months - to different states. Certainly less than 6 months. Probably wasn't the wisest choice for me, but it depends how you two feel about sharing space together. If you do move together, I would keep a place open to fall back on - a friend to crash with, family - just in case things do start to quickly sour. So you can take a step away, contemplate and work out why it happened.

Yeah, my family is like 3 hours away from him, so it isn't a huge risk in that respect. I just don't want moving in too early to cause stress or make people judge us so bad that there is a lot of drama and s**t. I know there will be judgment no matter what but I think maybe that 6 month mark would reduce it some. I can't move in with him until a few things happen first though, which will take 5-6 months anyway. I don't imagine moving in before December.

[lispresso]

I kinda recently got into a LDR and he's amazing and I'm happy and I'm hoping we'll last c: that is all heart

[Adversative]

Izzy815

What have others done when their partner asks to make it an open relationship because they're too sex-deprived? What if the other doesn't want this?

Obviously I'm in this situation right now and need some advice.

If you're okay with your partner watching porn / reading erotica / cybering with you / masturbating, there is really no reason it NEEDS to be an open relationship. Sex deprivation is unpleasant, but not life-threatening, and if you're inexperienced with open relationships they can be pretty stressful and trigger a lot of insecurities. LDRs are already stressful enough without throwing anything else into the mix.

[Fire of Lilies]

BlackRoseoftheSea

Hello all, this is Blackrose_Knight on a new account.

My LDR partner M. and I have been adjusting to our LDR-ness well. Both our spouses have been really good with us adjusting. Chryos, my husband, has been the best, he just lets me cry.

M. (my ldr partner) and I have been doing some kinky Dom/sub stuff which really works for me. It solidifies our relationship with power play. Generally, its kinky commands and pictures sent via phone to "prove" to him I have completed the task.

My thing is, he has indicated he wants to Skype chat, and I have this thing about hearing myself talk? I don't like it. I never have. I think this might push me to get over it though. Anybody have opinions of Skype? Is there better (free!) software available?

I always had problems with skype, especially when my bf was in a different country for awhile. We use google hangouts to talk face to face. Skype always dropped the call and had poor vidio/audio quality while we don't have those problems with google hangouts. Plus google is free as well