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 Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 7:57 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 8:15 pm
W.H. Hudson says that birds feel something akin to pain (and fear) just before migration and that nothing alleviates this feeling except flight (the rapid motion of wings.)🌊🌊🌊 name: Alexis Montague
nickname: You can try.
gender/pronouns: Trade secret / they/them.
age: 1060ish, stopped aging around 24-25 but lost count. Says they’re three years older than they actually are anyway, so at the minute they’re legally 28 on their civilian ID. They've got the kind of face that might be anywhere from twenty to forty, who's going to call them a liar?
birthday: No idea anymore. Picked June 12 at random.
sign: By proxy of the above, Gemini.
blood type: Who’s asking? You can taste, if you’re willing to pay. (Outside of glamour it’s deep red, darker and richer than any human blood should naturally ever be.)
favorite food: Sweets & meats of any sort, but they’re more food-motivated than any dog you’ve ever met, so draw your own conclusions.
hated food: They'll eat anything.
occupation: Club bouncer. Does a lot of under-the-table courier work, and generally freelances; they’ll do anything for pay, and they like a challenge.
hobbies.
parkour: Normal running is applicable, too, but this is about as close as Alexis gets to flying. They want to be as high up as possible, they want to go fast, they want to -- climbing has always been a tendency of theirs; being in impossible places, and moving in and out and through them. When they need to get out of their head, they always end up on rooftops, on architecture.
chandler: There are so few ways to keep the dark away. Even on Earth, Alexis practices the crafting of candles with obsessive precision; as much as the dark and the deep and the cold are kin and home to them, a place is safe if it is full of warm light. Scent is irrelevant. Just - wax, and oil, and wick.
hunting: The world is alive. It lives. It breathes. It bleeds. Alexis hunts for sport as much as they hunt for practicality; it's an old skill but no less useful for it, and the thrill of the hunt reminds them that they're alive. Here in Destiny City, they try to keep to the forests - too conspicuous in the parks - but they treat it with all the reverence of ritual... and all the irreverence of playtime, depending on the moment.
daredevil: Anything that summons up adrenaline is something Alexis is willing to try, even if they don't keep at it; no matter how theoretically deadly it might be, they've proven lucky so far, and they'll keep pushing that luck. They love high heights and deadly drops, leaping between and around cars on busy roads, and anything that would make a stranger think the word daredevil.
virtues.
unyielding: Alexis never backs down. Ever. No matter how unwise it might be, how much trouble they might save themself, their refusal to just lie down and die has gotten them this far -- they'll be damned if it stops them now. And they don't get frightened or unsettled or thrown off their rhythm by much. As much as they might play emotions up for the sake of seeming reasonable and normal, at heart they're unerringly calm, and they take it all in stride. Any obstacle in their way is just something to be overcome or worked around -- it's nearly impossible to really scare them witless or cause real, genuine, blinding rage (although this just means that when they do experience it, it's all the worse).
precise: No place for broad strokes here. Alexis likes it when things are done right, even if it means things take longer. There's no need for mess and repeated attempts if you get it right the first time, is there? They don't move erroneously, they don't speak only to blather; everything they do is precise.
hands-on: No need to delegate. If you want something done -- do it yourself... at least, if it's not something the people they'd delegate to are substantially better at. Alexis tends to be on the front line to deal with any problem that may have popped up. They're not going to bully their way to the front of the line, but more often than not they're proactive about things.
brave: Planning be damned. Alexis will face the unknown, fearless as anything; there's almost nothing that frightens them, and for the few things that do, they'll power through almost all of those, too. Their nerve never fails them, not when it really matters (and even when it doesn't); after all, they're no coward. They'll always stand strong in the face of danger.
flaws.
unyielding: Alexis never backs down. Ever. They don't want to look weak, they can't stand the thought of it; if they're injured in a fight, they won't accept it and run, they'll keep going until they can't move. They're more than willing to concede there's virtue in running to fight another day - it's just not a virtue they want any part of. They'd rather die than concede, and only by virtue of being as stubborn as they are have they survived this long at all.
backstabber: Alexis betrays. Chronically. It's as if they're driven to do it, to twist the knife, in a way they don't fully control or understand - it's the acid test of friendship writ large. Why would you want to be kind to them, to show them anything good, when they'll never return it at all? It's not that they want to betray, they just do, reflex and instinct prioritized over reason. They've shut all those feelings that might stop them down in a little hatch at the bottom of their heart and locked the door; they've pared themself down so very intentionally, so very practically, and morals were not part of what was needed to stay.
deadhearted: There's something keenly, deeply wrong with Alexis, something deeply off-putting about them, a hole where their heart should be; they mimic emotion and feeling and reaction convincingly, but the tells are there, if you look for them keenly enough. When they drop the masks entirely, it's just cold, still water, with no trace of human kindness to be found at all.
It's not that they don't understand the virtues of pacifism and kindness - it is, simply, that they very much do not care anymore. If violence is the most efficient way to achieve a goal, then violence it is. If lying is the most efficient way to achieve the goal, then they'll lie. Why should it matter to them what laws and rules they break, who they hurt, how they do it?
hedonistic: Alexis is used to things being pared-down and miserable at best, a struggle to survive, and has taken to Destiny City with an almost frightening kind of -- something. Not glee, not exactly. But there's nothing they won't try, nothing too indulgent; they want to feel something, anything, so what's the difference between any of the options that make their heart race? They all make Alexis feel alive. That's all that matters. The person they were before Roka fell - as far as they're concerned - is gone and not returning, too broken-down to ever heal; all those years alone have seen to that, and have made them a very different creature. But that doesn't mean they can't have some fun, even if their old self would've hated it so.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes: Mismatched; right eye's iris is a dull green (#6F8E6A, #82A67D, #77AC6F range). Left eye has a blueish-teal iris. There's a scar that should go straight through their left eye -- it's permanently scarred the eyelid on the top and bottom, although that bit has healed, as much as scars ever do -- but their eye itself seems unmarked.
Hair: Dark brown, tied in a long braid that reaches to their knees (sometimes knotted up on the back of their head to get it out of the way). Messy bangs that stop just short of interfering with eyesight. When unbound, their hair is wavy - almost curly (between 2B and 3A). Often it has ribbons or other trinkets braided into it; they're particularly fond of a seaglass hair stick for when they have it pulled up.
Face: Pointy, angular, long nose. Has been jokingly described as 'made out of knives' before. Left eyebrow bisected by a thin scar; claw-mark scars on their left cheek, and a scar on the right of their chin.
Skin Tone: Concerningly pale by human standards, to the point of 'hasn't seen sunlight in ages'. Dark freckles all over body.
Body Type: Lithe to the point of underweight; almost worryingly skinny. Long, toned legs; kicks like a horse. Generally radiates the aura that they're held together by spite and nothing else. All sharp edges.
Burn scarring on forearms, wrists, and palms, as well as most of their back. Scarring from bite or blade or varied source scattered over much of body, but given how they prefer covering up, it's rarely visible. There's a nasty scar covering most of the front of their chest and stomach that, if you squint, looks like an autopsy incision gone very wrong.
There's a scar at the base of their neck like someone cut their throat. It's long-healed, like the rest of their scars, but... still. Typically they wear higher collars or chokers. People ask questions.
Clothes: Tends towards an odd mix between lower-class Victorian & modern casual. Always in boots, always in (usually fingerless) gloves; everything else varies, as long as it's easy to move in, but they pull off suspenders way too well for someone who is built like a bunch of sticks held together with sharpened paperclips. Think this. Often wears a wrist brace on their left wrist.
* Alexis is pyrophobic; they are capable of dealing with candleflames, but anything larger causes severe stress, nausea, and other physical manifestations. Dangerous fire (i.e. housefires, fire magic, uncontrolled bonfires) may cause them to dissociate entirely, have a severe panic attack, immediately turn tail and run, or any number of other reactions.🌊🌊🌊 Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade,
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 8:20 pm
this grindstone of a world —
the choice you must make
between being whittled away to nothing
or sharpened to nothing but blade — 
Challenge: Drown already.
Attacks:
Sailor Scout Attack: Róka's Current
Róka's lower arms and legs are covered in thin veils of water that manifest out of thin air. Anyone who touches the water generated by this attack will temporarily experience the feeling of being trapped in a rip current and dragged under; this may include feeling as if they're tumbling head over heels, being dragged down and away, being unable to breathe, drowning, etc.
This magic is primarily an agility boost -- the debilitating effect only lasts as long as an enemy makes contact with Róka, although at player discretion they may be affected for longer.
While this magic is active, Róka's agility and speed are increased considerably, including acceleration.
This attack lasts for 30 seconds, and Róka can use it three times a battle.
Super Sailor Scout Attack: Róka's Undertow
Róka's lower arms and legs are covered in thin veils of water that manifest out of thin air. Anyone who touches the water generated by this attack will temporarily experience the feeling of being trapped in a rip current and dragged under; this may include feeling as if they're tumbling head over heels, being dragged down and away, being unable to breathe, drowning, etc. Although this only lasts for a few seconds, for the rest of the magic's duration they will feel as if they're underwater & experience difficulty moving accordingly.
This magic is primarily an agility boost -- the primary debilitating effect only lasts as long as an enemy makes contact with Róka, although at player discretion they may be affected for longer.
While this magic is active, Róka's agility and speed are increased drastically, including acceleration.
This attack lasts for 25 seconds, and Róka can use it two times a battle.
Eternal Sailor Attack: Cruel Tides
Beginning at Róka's feet and spreading outwards, the area around them in a roughly 20-foot-diameter (beginning ankle-height, rapidly increasing through the first portion of the attack) rapidly floods -- first outwards in a wave, and then inwards, supernaturally dragging anyone and anything caught in the wave into a coalescence of tides and trapping them in the current.
After the tide comes inwards, Roka is surrounded for 35 seconds by a rapidly-moving wall of chilly seawater, roughly six feet tall and 18 inches wide. The water is cold, airless, salty, and also holds whatever objects and other entities were trapped in the wave. Anything trapped in it will be dragged around in the water at high speeds and high pressure until either they manage to escape or the attack ends, and anything that contacts the water will also be dragged inside. When the attack ends, the water shoots outwards again at high pressure, expelling anything it was holding.
Róka can walk through this water without being harmed by its watery properties; however, they are not immune to getting hit in the face with a brick it picked up, so they are effectively trapped in place for the duration of the attack.
At player discretion, characters who are trapped in the current may experience injuries from having objects inside it flung past them at high speeds; they may also experience symptoms of drowning and consequences of seawater inhalation.
Roka has a Personal Item called the Abyssal Collar:
A thick dark leather choker. While worn, for three hours a day Róka is protected by the same magic that separates civilian/magical identities, and cannot easily be identified as Sailor Róka. When under this glamour, they appear as a teal-uniformed human Senshi.
While this glamour is active, Róka appears as a slender fair-skinned human of ambiguous race and gender; their fuku is thematically similar to Róka's but only to a 'teammate' sort of extent. They have heavy-lidded black eyes, wavy teal hair pinned up under a newsboy hat, and a heart-shaped face. This glamour has no visible scars. While under this glamour, they call themself Harper.🌊🌊🌊
this world that labels me monster,
which i, ever a stubborn scream of a thing,
was only ever going to take as a challenge;
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 8:21 pm
And everyone secretly wants
to collaborate with the enemy, to construct a truer
version of the self.
🌊🌊🌊
roleplay log
(🌊 | regular used towards growth
🗡️ | battle used towards growth
💬 | solo used towards growth
🕯️ | used towards growth (substituting for solos)
basic to super
arrival on earth 🌊 [reg] bound-dark seamed and starkened | eternal sailor encke, basiluzzo squire of uranus | completesenshi 🌊 [reg] in the stir of still water | corrupt super psiomelane | complete
🗡️ [bat] New kinda order. | corrupt super miyamoto | complete
🗡️ [halloween-b] … or Shadowed Strays? | erytheia knight of the cosmos | complete
[halloween-b] his little heart, it beats so fast | dark mirror sailor murikabushi | dropped
🌊 [r] Delving into Aquatic Knowledge | lieutenant borax | complete
💬 [solo] the frost which silvers the night
💬 [solo] shooting spiders at six
💬 [solo] where the crow roams, the cat prowls
🌊 [r] the part where the wall is softest | general faustite | complete
🌊 [r] like light, like cirrus | super sailor fang | complete
🕯️ [r] murder on the dancefloor | dark mirror sailor hybris | complete
🌊 [r] Keepers of secrets and war. | super sailor selinur | complete
🌊 [r] Don't I know you from somewhere... | sailor urania | complete
[?] analogies we can comprehend | corrupt sailor richelsdorfite | incomplete
🌊 [r] beginning to become a pattern | captain siegenite | complete
🗡️ [star-b] Kick Starter | chibi sailor mabella | complete
[star-r] a night which never sees starlight | merchant almadel | incomplete
[star-b] self-awareness whomst? | dark mirror sailor lete, dark mirror super murikabushi(?) | dropped
🗡️ [bat] a thousand unturned stones | general jadarite | complete
[bat] A forest built for adventure | chibi sailor christabel | incomplete
[bat] Don't Maul me too much!! | silistra squire of saturn | complete
[r] an unusual degree of tranquility | eternal sailor encke | incompletesuper senshi 4/12 regulars
4/6 battles
0/12 solos
At second stage, growth items can replace 2 Battles, 4 Regulars, and 3 Solos. [upg-r] constellations flower and dissolve | mauvian viatrix | incomplete
🌊 [halloween-r] The Fog of Time | sailor grieve | complete
🗡️ [event-b] chrysocyon chaos [fang's chaos clearing] | many | complete
[r] vagabonds, radiants | lex wysten | incomplete
🌊 [event-r] poison in the air - introduction | many | complete
🗡️ [event-b] poison in the air - the east bridge | many | complete
🗡️ [event-b] poison in the air - finale | many | complete
🌊 [star-r] Night at the Museum | many | complete
[star-b] Night at the Museum Side Room | sailor grieve, super sailor madriu, corrupt mirabilite | incomplete
[star-r] like civilized people do | sailor corvina | incomplete
🌊 [orp-r] Wings are clipped and his feet are tied | many | complete
🌊 [stormbreaker-b] At World's End | many | completeeternal senshi RP Title | other participants🌊🌊🌊How much can you change
and get away with it, before you turn into something
else, before it's some kind of murder?
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 8:23 pm
"I could kill you."
🌊🌊🌊 web of connections.(Róka exclusively writes their in-universe notes in space shorthand & utilizes rhyming slang to further personalize it. These are translations of their notes - their actual notes are completely illegible to almost everyone, given they're written in High Rókae... in rhyming slang... in shorthand... and Róka's handwriting is very messy. Some individuals have a version that conveys the illegible spirit of the real notes; most just have a translation of what it means.) senshi.ignacio araya-bell | sailor encke rbsl tr elk. dnte / jprsts (Married/partners with Richard Bell/Basiluzzo. Transcended. Electrical magic. Not worth engaging with; valuable resource as long as he remains trusting.)raina araya | sailor anser trsc. (Transcended. More hotheaded than Encke (brother). Picks fights. How tactical is she? Might be goaded into severe harm to self if provoked?)unknown chibi senshi (sailor mabella) brat. deep space senshi.ophelia kriemhild | sailor dagon(Not reincarnated. Amphibious/aquatic. Eternal. Married. Thinks of herself as mature/motherly compared to the rest.
Has people she is horribly fond of. Find their information.)sailor fangsailor selinur prm chk ↚ (Not reincarnated. Promised me info. Check back in to make sure he's not feeding false information.)sailor urania cntrec oblv ⦰thr gsp (Not reincarnated, but I can't recall details about how she was back then. Used to know me. Oblivious. No threat. Friendly, likely to gossip.)sailor grieve(Ghosts ought to stay dead. ...I'm one to talk. Same as she ever was; still easy to be with, be around, for me.)sailor murikabushisailor helenelex wysten | sailor madriu(Kin-and-kind, once. I did quite like him. Still defiant. Too defiant to have broken the way a lot of us have?
It's... easy. He gets it, most of it. Even if half of it we won't say out loud.)sailor daedalus(If he was half as clever as he thinks he is, he would've let Chaos do as it pleases with his world and made the most of the time he had left.)sailor corvinaknights.richard bell | basiluzzo of uranus w-nk+sq dntng (Married/partners with Ignacio Araya-Bell/Encke. Squire. Don't antagonize or fight. Too connected to Encke.
Reasonable enough on his own, but he's seen me too weak for me to ever trust him.)livie bell | nectaris of the moon(Frustratingly genuine. No artifice. Targeting her will make the household call for your head. Off-limits.)luke bell | stromboli of uranuserytheia of cosmossadie avamir | pendour of neptune(Pacifists make me sick.)michelangelo dupont | abzu of neptuneteegan hollenbeck | emlain ablach of earthkāifēng of saturnmauvians.viatrixdark mirror court.dark mirror hybris hasn't changed. rnc thk^⦰thr (Hasn't changed since last time. Has to be a reincarnation? Wearing black - part of the "Dark Mirror". Thinks he's more charismatic than he is.
I know his magic. He's no threat and he never will be.)unknown dark mirror (lete)dark mirror murikabushinegaverse.corrupt pavounknown corrupt (miyamoto)boraxfaustite ⊘! inf (On_______ fire and of fire______________passing him information. scheduled drops.)corrupt richelsdorfitesiegeniteother.merchant almadelsafira bell 🌊🌊🌊
“Anybody could kill anybody,” they say, “but you won’t,” and they lift Sutton’s right arm up to their face and bite.- kosy, sink graceless into the dirt
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 8:30 pm
we had at some point have fallen,
that to hit rock bottom so hard
everything splintered
into tiny unrecognisable pieces
we had to have fallen far, so far,
for years and years. freefall must have felt good.
🌊🌊🌊 deep space senshi
grammatical:
• world: róka
• belonging to / of world, singular: rókae, sometimes rókan (depending on dialect)
• belonging to / of world, plural: rókae
physical features:
• bioluminescent freckles: Alexis' freckles glow faintly in the dark; they do not provide enough light to navigate a dark area and are essentially cosmetic, although they may glow more brightly in times of stress.
(This trait is common to some Rókae.)
• webbed fingers & toes: What it says on the tin.
(This trait is common to most Rókae.)
• overall sharpness: Clawlike nails (both fingers and toes); these have dulled over time trapped on their homeworld & do not add any additional combat capability. Also, fangs. (Given proper nutrition, these can regrow quickly when lost; they currently do not do this.)
(This trait is common to some Rókae.)
• odd eyes: Alexis has black sclera & slit, catlike pupils. Their left eye is differently colored, and when unglamoured has a pale cyan pupil, almost white; this eye is a biological graft used to replace a missing eye.
(Dark sclera are common to some Rókae. Slit pupils are common to most Rókae. Access to biological prosthetics is available to some Rókae, depending on location, connections, and socioeconomic status.)
• third eyelid: Alexis has a third eyelid for use underwater.
(This trait is common to Rókae.)
• tapetum lucidum: Much like a cat's eyes, their eyes reflect light.
(This trait is common to Rókae.)
• gills: Alexis has functional gills on both their sides and their neck. They are fully capable of functioning for an unlimited time underwater on their homeworld, provided that the water contains oxygen. Due to differences in water composition, these may work on other homeworlds or wonders, but they do not function on Earth proper.
(This trait is common to essentially all Rókae.)
• fins: Alexis' ears finish with fins. These are mostly cosmetic, but are capable of displaying a small range of emotion; they're comparable to eyebrows, as far as 'how important they are to reading expressions'.
(This trait is common to essentially all Rókae.)🌊🌊🌊
timeline: Rókae aging is roughly equivalent to human aging until mid-to-late middle age. Alexis has been lying about their age their entire life; according to them they're three years older than they actually are. Given their build and their look... few people ever doubted them.
age 14: Awakens as a Senshi.
age 15.5: Upgrades to Super Senshi. Somewhere between here and losing their eye, joins a mercenary group called the Nameless, but only as Alexis Montague / "the Hunter".
age 16.5: Loses their left eye during a hunt.
age 17.5: Makes a deal with a Rókae scientific institution for a custom-grown bioprosthetic eye and has it implanted.
age 18: Upgrades to Eternal Senshi.
age 24: Stops aging. Later this year, is kidnapped and disappears for some time.
age 24? 25? 26?: Escapes the kidnapping. Less than two months after, all travel offworld is suspended and all spaceports shut down; less than two months after that, chaos fully takes root on Róka.
backstory|history:
Róka has never been a kind world. Governed by a wild sea, its people retreated to carved-out cavern-cities or fleets of ships, linked together; its tales and myths are bloody things, stories of trickery and cruelty in the dark. Alexis was not a popular senshi, for what it was worth, given how long it'd been since their predecessor: they were wildhearted, hard to find at any given time, and wildly disobedient to their betters, with a tendency to sneak offworld unannounced and make their own friends in their own time.
As long as they never directly acted to harm their world itself, this behavior was tolerated, it would've been too hard to change, but - something went off the foreseen path, even before the Chaos came. Something broke. It's not as if there are records of any of this; if there were, they've long since been destroyed. It's not as if Alexis can give a clear response or has a clear memory of it, by now. What they do remember is that they were deeply hurt, in a way that reached right down to the soul, some kind of betrayal that scarred them so badly it redefined their entire existence - and they reacted... badly.
It's hard to say how much of it was the Chaos spread across their world by the time everything really went wrong, eating at its heart, driving them to extremes they might never have considered. It's hard to say how much of it was cold, conscious choice, and how much of it was a blind rage; tear it down, tear it all down, so it can never hurt them again. An Eternal Senshi at the height of their power can do a lot of damage, anyway.
Róka was a bustling world, once, full of life in the shadow. By nine hundred years ago, over 90% of the population was gone. Alexis' memories of the intermittent years between the betrayal and then are blurry, sketchy things, mostly experienced as impulse and concept; and Alexis is certain that they killed their world, although the truth of this is much more complicated. But their people feared them, that much they remember, in a way they hadn't before. Over time, the Rókae aged or grew ill and all - one by one - died, and Alexis, unaging, was the only one left, their power bleeding away bit by bit.
Alone, on a dying world, with no time for anything but continuing to survive. It was out of spite, at the end, towards everything that wanted them dead: the crops long since withered, the skies darker than they'd ever been, waters poisoned, cities in ruins, even the scavenging creatures dead of famine and disease and bled out by Chaos' monstrous creations. There was very little time for anything but survival: the world had been hostile even when it had been healthy, and now it was as far from healthy as it had ever known.
The sea opened to them, then, when they were alone, after years and years of trudging on and fighting for it tooth and nail, when they were ready to finally give up in one moment of all-encompassing, numbing, despair. Maybe fifty years ago, they walked into the sea and did not look back; they, with their bloody nails and wild hair and dead eyes, were still something their world wanted to save. No matter how Alexis felt on the matter at that moment. Their world could not heal their heart, but it could let them rest safely, for a time.
And eventually - one day - there was a tug. Something bright, and new, and something burning from far away. Sailor Róka woke up, then, and they reached out to it and pulled -
🌊🌊🌊
As both Alexis and Sailor Róka, Alexis frequently traveled offworld and was more interested in traveling the universe than seeing to their own homeworld.
They would go by Sailor Róka only if they had to, when someone knew both their identities -- Alexis was well-known to find Senshi titles pretentious. When it came to public knowledge and appearances, Sailor Róka's civilian identity was an unknown, and Alexis Montague was a gutter-born mercenary who doubled as a hunter of dangerous beasts, a thief, sometimes a sailor, and a paid killer; they utilized their identity as Róka to make inroads and gain advantages that lowborn Mx. Montague would have had no access to.
Those who were close to them might have attested to the accent they used in public being a façade, and their true voice being a rougher thing, an accent affected by many ports and many places but still with a lower-class dialect at its heart. In modern days, this 'true voice' has yet to make a reappearance.
Alexis started venturing offworld as an adolescent, before being awakened as Sailor Róka, but was notoriously mum on things such as their family and why they'd bothered running away in the first place; as Alexis, they were not popular with the Rókae aristocracy outside of their fondness for hedonism, professing a distaste for the idle rich. Sailor Róka was more of a mystery, but they were charismatic in a strange way: winning a Senshi's favor was valuable, and they had a lot of connections.
The codeswitching was never easy, but it was necessary. Alexis might have been shut out of many of the avenues Róka had access to. And to their friends, they didn't guard their identity at all: they were Alexis-and-Róka, two faces of the same thing, steady and self-assured even in the face of everything.
For years Alexis was known to be part of a mercenary group -- most of their fellow mercenaries were powered, so to see a civilian at their side was sometimes considered odd. But Alexis was a Wyrm-Hunter from Róka, and those were always odd folk; it wasn't so strange one of them might go rogue and decide hunting people was just as well as hunting monsters. They specialized in scouting, thievery, and assassination, and utilized their separate identity as Sailor Róka for infiltration and intelligence-gathering.
It might not have been the life some people might have wanted for them, but it was theirs, and it was what they chose. And Róka grew more and more powerful, through the years; basic, super, eternal. They made a name for themself in that face, too. Things were -- the universe was growing more troubled, yes, but that just meant more work and more desperate people to fleece. It wasn't a problem. Work was steady, their power came easy when they called it, and even if they themself had needed to step back from scouting because they kept lashing out -- these things happened. There was a splinter lodged in their heart from someone turning their back on them, and they were helpless to get it out. It might've healed, in time.
And then Alexis went missing, with no note or word or trace.
They remained vanished for a while, and could never tell you how long. It felt like ages. Someone betrayed them to people who wanted a Senshi's magic, someone they would've never suspected; the person who made their way out of that hell was barely Alexis Montague at all.
Nobody had come looking for them. They were certain, in that state of barely-lucid frenzy, holding their broken body together mostly by spite. Nobody had come. They'd given up that hope, eventually, because it had only hurt to have. Nobody had come, and that meant nobody had cared; worse, it could mean it'd been their faults in the first place. And facing that perceived reality, in a state so poor--
Standing on the precipice, shattered as a person, Alexis lapsed into a state of psychosis; deeply, intrinsically convinced that everyone wanted to hurt or betray them, was talking behind their back, was just waiting for the perfect moment, they reacted in the only way they could conceive.
If you want to prevent someone from doing something, stop them before they have the chance.
The only way, then, to keep themself safe, was to hurt everyone else so badly that none of them could ever hurt Alexis again. And the way they had to do that was --
By the time that psychosis was no longer so extreme, Chaos had already come, too powerful and terrible to be torn out.
(Was it their fault? Did they invite it into the heart of their world -- or did their state of delirium just mean its entrance went unnoticed?
They still don't know with any real certainty. They're not sure they ever will. Their memory is unclear; too blurred, too smeared, to be of any use.
Does it matter? Everyone was still dead or dying, and everyone was terrified of them for what time remained. They let it in, no matter if they actually let it in or not.
They know themself. It doesn't matter if they don't remember. They would've let it in.)
Given centuries, their power faded down to embers. They stayed in their senshi-skin for days, weeks, months, years at a time -- it was safer. They needed the strength. Parts of their fuku were torn away, or elsewise ruined, and did not return even when refreshing their henshin got the blood and ash out of their hair; this was not the outfit they had worn at their first awakening by any means, no matter if their power was the same.
Sailor Róka fought their way through that bitter, spiteful world for nine and a half centuries, long after the rest of it had died, and then the last of their resolve crumbled. They walked into the sea fully intending to die, one way or another. Instead, their world kept them alive against their will, protected and in a barely-awake stasis, waiting for a time to come when there would be a light out there.🌊🌊🌊
history whispers to me at night
about all of the things i am forgetting,
all of the things i cannot bring myself to remember,
you can get used to anything
because, given time, everything fades,
everything leaves, everything falls,
everything dies,
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 8:34 pm
when the corpses outnumber the living,
the gap between this life and the next melts away
until there is no clear idea
of where we end and hell begins,
of if we are even still alive,
you can get used to anything,
you can get used to anything.
you can get used to anything.- a.m.h., you can get used to anythingitems.
Chrysocoin of Comfort
A small, exquisitely carved, wooden coin with a chrysocyon paw carved into it. The coin itself is a light wood, almost birch in appearance, and the paw is stained to a rich mahogany dark shade. Rub the coin over the paw, and a feeling of comfort will embrace you, as if you've just had a long conversation with a good friend of yours. It can be used once per day, and the magic lasts for up to ten minutes in non battle environments.
Oh, I know very well how the secrets beckon so sweetly.
Only an honest death will cure you now.
Liberate you from your wild curiosity.- lady maria, bloodborne
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Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2023 8:45 pm
what are you planning on eating?
who are you planning on eating? from where you’re standing, can you face west?
from what you’re facing, can you stand? when you said “breaking” did you mean:
like a pair of shoes that finally fits?
playlist.
the crane wives - tongues & teeth
(oh, I will ruin you / it's a habit, I can't help it / I know that you mean so well / but I am not a vessel for your good intent)
alice glass - forgiveness
(we don't care that no one will miss us / we don't need their blame or forgiveness)
heaven will be mine ost - oxygen ocean (extended root mix)
(instrumental)
mother mother - mouth of the devil (live in studio)
(yeah, come back with me / back to when we were numb / just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil)
magdalena bay - killshot
(knowing better / twisted pleasure / got me feeling breathless)
metric - speed the collapse
(and then the storm was overhead / all the oceans boiled and rivers bled)
sir chloe - animal
(make me behave like an animal / I'm asking nicely, give me what I want / I'll ask politely, give me what I want)
arknights ost - dsdevr
(the morning sky warns of threatening seas / years go by, won't forget our belief)
st. vincent - laughing with a mouth full of blood
(laughing with a mouth of blood / from a little spill I took / oh, what are you laughing at?)
MARINA - are you satisfied?
('cause it's my problem if I wanna pack up and run away / it's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway)
the hush sound - magnolia
(your eyes like sea glass / so weathered and worn)
no-one has to die ost - bizzare readings
(instrumental)
jimmy and the pulsating mass ost - the toys move on their own
(instrumental)
mother mother - little pistol
(and I / well, I want what’s best for me / and I / I think I know just what that means)
the pierces - sticks and stones
(hey, waterfall; oh, can you hear me calling? / three, two, one, don’t you dare touch the ground)
arknights ost - rapier
(instrumental)
tatsuya kitani - devil's manner (dongdang cover)
(I’ll teach you all the perfect way to dance incorrectly / so throw your life away on the count of 2, if it's like that)
vane - I love you, mijo
(instrumental)
the mountain goats - all up the seething coast
(and nothing you can say or do will stop me / and a thousand dead friends can't stop me)
vermillion lies - shark serenade
(just like a shark, I will tear you apart / you won't even know what you did)
FLAVOR FOLEY - BUTCHER VANITY
(they worship patience, a virtue / they tell me gluttony’s a sin / but my desire, it’s bottomless / I wanna slit your throat and eat ‘till I get sick)
GHOST - SCAPEG♾AT
(now do you hate me? / are you afraid of me? / are you able to feel culpability?)
florence + the machine - what the water gave me (mishkin fitzgerald cover)
(and all the ships are left to rust / that's what the water gave us)
ponkansoup - leopard
(come on / don't swallow what you've choked on / the subtle meanings of stupid choices you chose / left rotting here)
death note: the musical - they're only human
(so they give and we take / 'till their silly hearts break / looking down from above / I'm intrigued by their love / so let's call)
CHVRCHES - how not to drown
(I'm writing a book on how to stay conscious when you drown / and if the words float up to the surface / I'll keep them down)
the crane wives - metaphor
(I cut my teeth on secondhand sentiments / you can't trust a single word I say)
squalloscope - mouthpiece
(skip me across the water / count the times I come crashing down)
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Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2024 11:00 pm
"We build relationships in the process of using each other." 🌊🌊🌊held post 1."What's the worst thing I could do to you?"
"You can't do anything to hurt me. That's what being me is all about."
"I didn't say I could hurt you. I said, what's the worst thing I could do to you?"
"Don't lie to me. Don't laugh at me. It'd make me angry."
"Uh... anger's a feeling, Sakhmet..."
"No. Anger's the opposite of feeling."-- persephone & sakhmet, the wicked + the divine🌊🌊🌊 "That's what friends are for. Use them and they use you, but both enjoy that exploitation."
-- beozzi, wonderlab
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Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2024 11:31 pm
If it weren’t so twisted, this would be the best bonding experience they’ve ever had.
Something to bring up at a wedding, to reference in birthday cards for years— 🌊🌊🌊held post 2.your home...
mistakes you've made... people you've lost...
oh, oh, this i know. everything taken from you can be returned.
everything that's happened to you, all the pain, all the mutilation, all the loss.
it can be undone. it may all suffer glorious amelioration.
until you laugh and laugh and laugh at its pettiness.-- gog-agog, kill six billion demons: wheel smashing lord🌊🌊🌊—but Kipperlilly doesn’t give a ******** about their birthdays, doesn’t even know how old most of these ******** are anymore,
and if a single one of these ******** lives long enough to get married she’ll probably kill them out of jealousy and spite.
-- massivdisaster, now i breathe flames each time i talk
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