|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:01 am
 (Lines by kaname423, Color by jayoku)|| Stat Page || Updated: Oct/14/17
Experience || 88
Inventory
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:13 pm
 Name: Hijil[He-jill]Race: ShifterGender: FemaleClass: GuardBase Traits: Standoffish
Hijil is a very reserved person. She cloaks her vulnerabilities in a shell of distance. While it is clear that she cares about the problems of others, and is willing to help them, she will not open her heart to just anybody. While she is talkative in a sense, the most common sound from her is silence or a quiet, affirmative murmur. When she does talk, she avoids subjects relating directly to herself, usually focusing on the other person or on the immediate needs of the here and now.
Resolute
Hijil is stubborn with a touch of rigid. When she has set her mind to do something, she will do it, and her causes mean a lot to her. She will not abandon her ideals, or those in need. Sometimes, though, in the larger world, she can't stand as solidly by her ideals as she would like. She has a very set comfort zone, and going beyond that zone is disconcerting to her, very much so.
Rash
When defending what she cares about, Hijil does not always think or behave rationally. When something she cares about is in danger, she tends to leap before looking. Usually a reasonable and nonconfrontational person, she has been known to scold people she shouldn't and charge enemies recklessly. She's tough enough to take a few hits, so her mistakes and missteps are usually not fatal. She may not regret the action later, but often she wishes she had thought out the consequences. Personality:
Hijil is quite possibly one of the kindest and quietest people you will ever meet, though she is a woman of few words. She is warm and generous, abd very protective of other people. Self sacrificing, she will willingly shield others with her body. Though not without fear, she wont hesitate to stand in front of danger when it rears its head.
She does look out for herself, however. Though she once had a pitiful sense of self preservation, she now has a deep desire to live on. Others still come first, but she does come second, or third. Her loyalty to even slight aquaintences is such that she might give up her life for another, but she will not do so neednessly. If a situation is better served by picking them up bodily and fleeing, she will do so.
She isn't afraid of people, nor is she actually unfriendly. She has, however, had a rough life and spent a lot of time alone in the wilds. Shes a good listener, and a trustworthy person. She just doesn't trust others nearly as much in return, and she certainly doesn't reveal much of her personal life to strangers. She is a passive individual, disliking conflict. Without someone besides herself to protect, she would rather not fight, and she tries to stays away from social encounters that look like they could turn violent. Even in a situation that turns sour she is not usually quick to violence, especially not deadly violence. She is tough and able to outlast most opponents, allowing her to usually subdue attackers.
Though strong and resilient of body, her soul and mind are very vulnerable to harm. She tends to hide her emotions beneath a veil of neutrality and a desire for peace and calm, but they are there, and can be turbulent. She is afraid of them, especially of her anger, which resembles her mothers anger all too strongly. She often comes off as jaded or emotionless, but she can be easily shaken and concerned. Its just very internal, and she fights to keep it that way, fearing what released emotion can do.
So, she struggles to remain calm, hiding both pain and happiness. Of course, she is capable of intense focus despite her emotions. After years in the wild, she knows that a task unfinished is dangerous, and disorder can be deadly. She is very organized and careful, and tends to get things done. Color: #355731 Lichen Green [color=#355731] [/color]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:18 pm
History:
Previously, Hijil's life was a bit of a mess. She would have called it peaceful, but her mother and her frequently fell on hard times, the sort of hard times that sent you scrounging in the jungle every day just to have some mangled and crappy root on the table to eat for dinner. If her mother had only gone to the community and asked for help, they might have done better. But, caught between shame and pride, her mother tried to fend for herself, and had her daughter follow suit. Hijil didn't complain or think much ill of her mother, but the woman was mad.
Hijil's mother, Sara, had been the child of two mothers. Bad parents come in all shapes and sizes, and unfortunately for Sara, her childhood was rough and unpleasant. She left when she was able and moved as far as she could from her mothers, but she carried with her a strong aversion to same-gender relationships, even going so far as to blame it for her awful childhood. She was at the absolute least uncomfortable around gay couples, especially the women. At most? She hated them. After her husband died by Alkidike hands, she began to hate them too. In a mixed settlement like Ast, this became a problem, and she started to cut off most contact with other people.
She tried to raise Hijil to be the perfect daughter she had never been able to be. She was very strict and unpredictable- sometimes harsh and irrational, other times kind and loving. Hijil, fortunately, was mentally resilient even at a young age and managed to endure it. She never felt anything but love towards her mother, and never acted out in loud or obnoxious ways. Instead, she withdrew into silence and the safety of herself, happy to simply endure and absorb. Her mother was her world, her mother's insanity simply normal. On some level, beyond conciousness, she knew she was being hurt, and that it was wrong.
While was out on an errand, she had a chance encounter with a young Alkidike, and suddenly her world opened up. Somehow, against all odds and despite what Hijil had heard about the fearsome Alkdike monsters, they formed a connection. Hijil treated her friend with kindness, and was treated the same in return. They met a few more times by chance. Soon, they began to plan their meetings, finding something in each other that they couldn't find at home. They would eat together, watch the stars, and trade gifts. The friendship gradually grew into an awkward, fumbling, mutual (but nonsexual) romance.
Unfortunately, one evening, Hijil's mother stumbled upon the pair. Hijil came home to a raging thunderstorm of a mother who ranted, beat, shrieked, and cursed at her for hours.
How dare she be in a relationship! How dare she not tell her mother about this! How dare she be in a relationship with a girl! An ALKIDIKE no less! How could she do this to her own mother? To herself? To the memory of her father, who was, didn't you know, killed by those monster women?! How dare she do this to her, the little hussy, hadn't she raised her right? And this was how she repayed her? Sleeping with... Oh gods, she hadn't slept with her, had she? Oh what had happened to her beautiful little quiet girl? When had she become this... this monster?!
Her mother had yelled at her and hit her before. Hitting her did little- Hijil was a sturdy girl and her mother was not particularly physically strong, so she was capable of absorbing the blows. But this was about her dearest friend and, for the first time, Hijil did not feel she could just stand there and take it. She had to explain and resolve this.
She tried to fend her mother off. It should have been easy- she only needed to push her off of her and then hold her still so that she could explain the situation and tell her she wasn't wrong or a monster. How could she be, when everything felt so right?Unfortunately, Hijil didn't know her own strength. She pushed too hard, and her mother hid the wall of the hut with a sickening crack..
Horrified, Hijil, in the spur of the moment, decided to run as far and as fast as she could. At first, she wanted to run to her only friend, but then, at the last moment, decided to leave her out of this. She ran south, into the deep wilds of Jahuar, exiling herself in punishment for her horrible crime. Not her relationship with the Alkidike, of course, but her killing of her own mother. She isolated herself from shifters and Alkidike alike, leaving her lover to wonder what had happened. She left no note or explanation, Hijil simply vanished, fear trailing her like a predator.
She hid in the deepest jungle, moving from place to place, occasionally interacting with random strangers when the need for social interaction became unbearable. She wanted to die. She felt that she deserved death. But she wouldn't let herself be killed by the jungle's dangers, rationalizing that having to live with her crime was the worse punishment.
At some desperate point, she left the jungle to see for herself the large event known as the Tournament. She sat on the sidelines, watching, granting herself a brief reprieve from her terrible isolation. It had been a long time since she had felt anything strongly, the urge for survival having taken precedence over her emotions. It all came back to her, though, as she saw, fighting in the arena, her Alkidike lover (who she recognized by her markings, if not her shorn hair), who was (she felt) cruelly beaten by an ice tribe man.
Emotions had pulsed through her body, reawakened by her concern and love, which had not faded, even after all this time and hardship. Needing to know if the Alkidike was all right, she hurried to the healing tent. She stayed for a while, enjoying just being near her dearest, best, and only friend. And then, not wanting to be there when she woke, Hijil left her with a small fish figurine, a token of affection.
She spent the rest of the tournament studying the ice tribe man, feeling a ferocity she had never felt before. By the time the tournament was over, however, that feeling had cooled, and she was ready to return to her exile. Her lonely wilderness life was, however, interrupted by an encounter with a radaku pack.
They attacked her and, though she killed most of them and drove away the rest, she was gravely injured. Suffering from deep wounds and blood loss, she realized that she did not want to die at all, but to live. She struggled back towards her hometown of Ast. She didn't quite make it, though she managed to struggle up a tree and reach a branch before she fell into unconciousness.
She was rescued by a young shifter named Sauron, who tended her wounds and helped her heal. Once she was able to do so, Hijil ran – she didn't want to be taken to their shared hometown of Ast if she didn't have to. Struggling along, her goal the Western Jahuar coast, she ran into an Alkidike hybrid named Yaholo, who had a grudge against the ice tribe man. She shared what information she had, and tried to gather some in exchange. After a rest and a gift of healing salve for her wounds, she continued her journey to the coast.
There, she built a hidden sanctuary for herself, intending to use it as a base of operations to seek her love in the Alkidike lands, hiding from the local alkidikes until she could gain enough bravery to search seriously. She settled in, doing fairly well for herself.
One night, a young shifter girl appeared at her home, and demanded to know about her and the alkidike. Surprised, Hijil at first brushed her off, intending to take care of her and bring her home. As the girl continued to pester and bribe her over the course of the journey to her home, Hijil began to relent, finally telling the girl what she wanted to hear. That she loved her.
This crystallized Hijil's resolve and she returned home, feeling that she could start her search soon. However, rumors of war reached her ears, and she knew that protecting her homeland and its people would have to come first. After some training with found and refurbished gauntlets, she broke her exile once more and went off to war.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:23 pm
~~~ Sara: My mother. I have done a terrible thing. But perhaps it is time to stop punishing myself for it...Chandraki: The child was annoying, but not a bad girl. She did, after all, give me candy. It is hard to fault her for that.Sauron: A shifter man I am incredibly grateful to for saving my life. He seemed like a kind person, and his hand with the bandages was gentle and knowledgable. I feel terrible about running off like I did, and the next time I see him I will be sure to thank him. Perhaps he will be the reason that I return to Ast? A friendly face that I know would certainly be welcome, should I decide to return to village life. Probably not, though. I am too used to the wilds now. At the very least, speaking with him again will be welcome.Ruelash: The ice man that tore through alkidikes at the tournament like a fierce storm. He is a terrifying man, from the cold tundras and raptrix lands. We have never met, nor do I truly wish to. I'm not sure what I would do.Yaholo: A Leaf Alkdike hybrid who seems like a pleasant enough man. He weilds a hammer, and is very strong. He too bears ill will to Ruelash, and I am not ashamed to say that I gave him what information I had. Yanenowi: A strange, flying, Sautiian creature that I befriended one day in Jahuar. However, they already had an owner... Bhima : -------Rayolun: A shifter male I met while hunting. He was kind enough to help me with catching some prey and showed me how to properly deal with such things...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:29 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:27 pm
In Progress:
X {They've Arrived}, Bhima, Hijil, Korin, Ishida
Completed:
XX {Shaded Boughs Hold our Stories (PAST)} Biroki and Hijil, response is 135 words
X {A Feast} - Solo, 1289 words
XX {A Happy Memory (PAST)} Hijil and Bhima (Response is 364 words)
X {Alone} - Solo, 1758 Words
X {Purpose} - Solo, 678 words
XX {Depths} Hijil and Rayolun
XX {Mother Sailscale...?} Hijil and Yanenowi
XXX { Meta Ch 4: Tournament Stands }, (14 posts) Response 1 is 222 words, Response 2 is 146 words
X {Rumination and Decision} - Solo, 658 words
X {Fangs} - Solo: Class Affinity, 1488 words
XX {To Live} Sauron and Hijil, Response is 329 words
XX {Oh, you want to beat his face too?} Hijil and Yaholo
X {Encounter} Solo, 711 words
X {Like the Nondwa} Solo, 1282 words
X {The Water's Edge} Solo, 941 words
X {Fishing in the Spirit Moonlight} Solo, 968 words
X {Sweetness in Foolishness} Solo, 969 words
XX {Class Quest} (Response is 241 words)
X{Meta Ch. 5: Invasion, Camp}
X {Meta Ch. 5: Invasion, Into the Thick of it}
X {Meta Ch. 5: Invasion, Preparing for the Worst}
X {Meta Ch. 5: Invasion, Response is 348 words}
X BEAST BATTLE: Radaku x 1, {The Stray}
X BEAST BATTLE: Radaku x 1 {Straying}
X BEAST BATTLE: Radaku x 1 {Feral}
X BEAST BATTLE: Radaku x 1 {Rest, Now}
XX {Across the Border} Hijil and Xilarn (Response is 250 words)
X {The Radaku} Solo, 636 words
XX {New Face} Aeara and Hijil (Response is 156 words)
X {Returning Home} Solo, 684 words
X BATTLE: Student and Teacher (Hijil vs Rayolun) (Rayolun Win)
XX {The Sweetness of Anticipation} Hijil, Bhima, NPC
XX {Together at Last} Hijil, Bhima (Response is 96 words)
XX {One in Hand} Hijil, Bhima
X {Meta Ch. 6: The Final Battle, Tale Camp}
X {Meta Ch. 6: The Final Battle, The Battle}
X {Meta ch 6: The Final battle, Response is 220 words}
XX {Rain isn't the only problem} Hijil and Bhima (Response is 233 words)
XX {Class Quest} (Response is 220 words)
X {To Go, or no?} Hijil and Bhima
X {Home Alone} Solo Solo, 801 words
X {Atipi and Ath} Solo, 894 words
X {A Sleepless Night} Solo, 873 Words
X {Building} Solo, 1265 Words
X {The Alkidike Scouts} Solo, 1064 Words
X {To Stay or Go} Solo, 712 words
XX {Coming Home} Hijil and Bhima, 300 words
XX {Sins and Virtues} CYOA, 488 words
XX {One Plus One} Hijil and Bhima
XX {Now is the Time!} Bhima and Hijil
X Beast Battle: {Precious Things} - Nondwa win x2, lose x1
X Crafting Solo: {Reflections in Gemstones} - Bracelet, Success and Sale
X Beast Battle: {Blue Skies} - Scorra, Failure
Requirements: RP Points 43/50 EXP Points: 2/10 Class Quest Needed Obsidian Ring (Bought): Resistance Token (Meta): Belt (Event):
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:31 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:32 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:36 am
Alone
1758 - words-
Hijil wrapped herself in an old, thin, leafcraft blanket and stared at the stars as they twinkled above her. She shivered, but she wasn't cold in the warm Jahuar night. She was simply trying not to cry. Normally, this wasn't a problem for her. But tonight it was nearly impossible to stop the tears and she fought a losing battle.
She was sitting on a platform that her best friend had built so they could watch the stars together. She had run here first after her mother crumpled to the ground and stopped moving. She knew she should keep on running, very fast and very far. She was a murderer now, and she was going to be chased, and she did not want to be caught. She wanted to run away from the horror of what she had done.
It had been an accident, and she knew that. But knowing that her mother was dead because of an accident did not make it any less her fault, and it didn't make her feel any better.
She knew why she had run here, off all places. She longed to have her love's arms around her, and for the comfort and safety only she could provide. She wanted to feel that everything would be okay. She needed someone to hold her and tell her that until dawn's light washed everything clean.
She had been waiting for hours and she was realizing how bad an idea it had been to run here. She didn't want her friend to have to handle the burden of a mother-killer like herself. She didn't want to do that to her. She didn't deserve that, and Hijil didn't deserve her.
Hijil made a decision. She stood up, wrapping the blanket around her like a shawl and picked up her sparse belongings. She climbed down off the platform and hesitated, reluctant to take her hands from the tree. She wondered if she should leave something, some sort of trinket to let her know she had been here, that she still loved her.
She didn't.
With a deep shuddering breath, she walked away.
~~~
Rain splashed the back of her neck, chilling the darkening skin as dawn crept closer and closer. She ignored it and kept moving forward, because forward was all there was, now. She couldn't go back, she couldn't undo what she had done.
She had only wanted to explain everything to her mother, but now that would never happen. Her mother was dead, and perhaps they were finding her body even now. Hijil knew that running was a bad idea. They would all think she had murdered her mother. They should. She had. It didn't matter that it was an accident, that she hadn't tried to kill her, only that it had happened and it was her fault. Her fault, nobody else's. Certainly not her's, though it was her that Hijil's mother had been screaming about. There was nothing wrong with what she had had with the Alkidike. But there was everything wrong with what she had done to her mother, and Hijil hated herself for it with every step.
She paused at a clearing, looking up into the rain, shimmering and silver in the dying moonlight. She wanted to cry out from the pain inside her, but she couldn't. She had to endure this, like everything else.
But it was hard, so hard, and there was nothing to look forward to. No mother, no lover, nothing. She had killed one and didn't deserve the other. Why was she even still alive? What was there to be alive for? Her own murdering self?
She supposed so. She looked away from the sky and kept moving. Forward, ever forward. There may be nothing there, but it was the only direction that she could go.
~~~
She knew she was heading south from the way the shadows arced around her. South was good. There were few people there to hate her or for her to harm. She wanted to be alone. She had to be alone. Alone was safe for everyone.
Hijil was tiring, and her racing thoughts made little sense. She would have to climb up a tree and rest. She was searching, almost automatically, for a good tree to hold her when voices jolted her out of her fatigue. Voices meant people, and she longed to run out to them and ask them for help. But she knew that she had to run. People meant danger, danger to her and also danger to them. She was a murderer, she had killed her own mother. How could she prevent accidents from happening to others at her own hands? How else but to run very fast and very far away from people?
She had to be alone. She wanted to be alone. But, oh stars, she longed to talk to someone. Anyone. But she couldn't.
So she mustered up her energy and ran.
~~~
Hijil couldn't think anymore. Fatigue seemed to nest in her every muscle, nerve, bone, and sinew. Walking was nothing more than a vague mechanical movement, awareness nothing more than a painful continuation. She wanted to close her eyes and sleep, but she couldn't. She had to keep moving. She didn't remember why anymore, only that she had to move, and move, and move...
She stumbled and finally fell. She was asleep before her head hit the soft brush.
~~~
Hijil awoke slowly from the deepest, most dreamless sleep she had ever had in her life. She felt like she was soaking in peace and that it had permeated her through and through. She smiled and snuggled against the soft ground. It was nice here. She felt safe.
Of course, it was only a matter of time before her mother woke her up. They had to work so hard to survive, but they managed, and part of that was waking up. Hijil had never needed it to be explained to her, though her mother would go on and on about it. She was happy to wake up and work, this she told herself.
But right now she was just happy to be comfortable and safe. Right now, things would be all right. Maybe she was being lazy, but it felt so nice to keep her eyes closed and lie here.
But something kept niggling at her, a whispering sense of wrongness that she didn't understand. It grew louder and suddenly she didn't feel as happy or safe lying there. She opened her eyes and, after a moment of noncomprehending confusion, she sat up and stared at her surroundings.
This wasn't home. This wasn't anywhere familiar. She had not been lying in her rough bed, but in a bush in the middle of Jahuar. Mother was nowhere to be found. "Mama?" she called, suddenly frightened, looking around her as if the familiar shape would materialize out of the shadows.
Maybe she had accidentally fallen asleep with Her? Or maybe on the way to or from seeing her? She called her name, too.
There was no answer. Hijil's heart raced as she frantically searched the bushes, as if they might both be hiding there, a heartbeat away.
And then she remembered why they weren't there, and wished she hadn't. She stopped looking and began to cry, curling up on the bushes and willing sleep to come back and take away her memory again.
Sleep did not come.
~~~
Hijil tried to sleep for a while. When that failed, she tried to trick herself into forgetting. But her mother's face stayed fixed in her mind. The expression she had had as she screamed at her, the shock as her head hit the wall, and that horrible limp dullness as she crumpled to the ground... these faces stuck like burrs in her mind. They were impossible to remove.
When she gave up on forgetting, she tried just sitting on the ground and doing nothing, trying to ignore the need for food and water that was growing inside her. Eventually though, she was driven to find it. As she splashed her face with cool fresh water from a stream and ate the sweet berries that she found nearby, she cried. She didn't deserve to eat or to drink. Her mother was dead. She had killed her.
Eventually, she ran out of tears and a strange numbness filled her. It was like one of her mother's bad days, when the woman had railed at her about something or other. It didn't matter what set her off, it always ended the same- in incoherent tears and screaming. Hijil had felt numb at the end of those too, sometimes she had bruises to go with the numbness. But she had loved her mother, even through the dull, tired fog. She had always loved her. And now the woman was dead.
Nothing would undo what she had done or bring her mother back, and she couldn't cry anymore.
~~~
Hijil only became aware of what she was doing when she had finished the temporary shelter and had started to cook some tough fruit over a fire. It wasn't that she hadn't been doing it, she had just built the shelter and gathered supplies on autopilot, too emotionally exhausted for real thought.
The fruit's sweet cooking smell had roused her from her nearly trancelike state. As she watched it cook, she realized something. Her mother had had few friends. There had really been only Hijil.
Killing her, even by accident, had been a betrayal of the deepest love. Since Hijil had run away from everybody, there was nobody to punish her for her actions. Except for herself. Starving herself would not work because dying was far too easy a punishment. Hijil could never forgive herself, and she knew she wouldn't forgive herself even if she died. She would carry that hatred forever.
No, she realized, surviving on all alone would be the only punishment that would carry the right sort of weight. Exile was suitable- being without people was such torment, and it would go on forever more if she had any say in it.
She had thought she was out of tears, but she must have regenerated them through the day because at this thought she began to cry again. It was sad that she would punish herself so, but what choice did she have, after such a despicable thing? She prodded the fire, letting it burn down further.
She would live, and hate every minute of it. No mother killer deserved better.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:04 pm
Purpose
678 - words-
Hijil sat by the bed, looking silently at her still form. The healers here had patched her up well, but Hijil could see that damage had been done. Hijl knew that she would be fine, though: She was tough and had fought fiercely. It was clear that her spirit had only grown stronger in the time they had been apart.
Hijil smiled. How she had missed her-- her face, her ferocity, her stubborness... She even, Hijil noticed, scowled in her sleep. It was as if she denied having any gentleness at all. Hijil knew it was a lie.
Hijil sat there watching over her for a time. She did not wake up, but since she was still breathing, Hijil considered that to be a good thing. Seeing her again- being here for her- was wonderful. It was also heart-wrenchingly terrible. She was a reminder of the debatably happy times that were now long past. She was glad she was here, but She might not be. After all, why should she be happy to see Hijil, after all this time? Hijil had once tried to convince herself that she could still love her, but no matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn't think of a reason why she would ever want her near her again.
Hijil was glad to be here for her. But it was better that she never know Hijil had been there. She would survive, and that was what mattered, wasn't it? Hijil stood up to go.
She hesitated, looming over the bed. She really didn't want to leave. Cautiously, as if afraid she would wake up, Hijil brushed the side of her face with her fingers. Her expression twisted with longing and effort as she drew away. She wanted to stay, but she had to leave her side. It was only best. She wanted to lean in and kiss her, something fast, maybe, and gentle, before she left. But she couldn't do that, she no longer had the right. What they had had was over, no matter what she wanted it to be, no matter how much her heart told her it wasn't over, and would never be.
But without a kiss or just some sign of her presence, Hijil couldn't make herself move the few feet out of the healers tent into the stands. It felt too wrong, somehow, and Hijil had no desire to add more wrongness to the world- it had enough as it was. What could she do, then? She rummaged in her pack and took out a little carved figurine of a swimming fish. She had bought it from a vendor at the stands in a rare pleasure buy- it had looked cute and she had thought she could hang it on her belt to cheer her up. She turned the little fish over in her hand before gently picking up her friend's hand. It would have a better use now. As she gently set the fish in her open hand, She remembered another figurine of long ago. That one had not been as expertly carved, but it had gone to the same person. She wondered, briefly, about that little nondwa figure. Did she still have it?
Then Hijil shook her head, smiling sadly as she carefully closed her hand around the fish. In the end, whether she still had the little nondwa or not, it didn't matter.
"I love you..." she said quietly, barely more than a whisper, as she set the hand back on the bed. Then Hijil walked away.
She walked with renewed purpose. Her friend, the love of her life, had been brutally beaten up in a battle. It didn't matter to Hijil that this was a tournament and that others were being beat up badly, it still didn't sit well with her. There was a difference in how the other fights went as opposed to this one: her opponent. He was a mad, wild thing. Hijil had feared for her life every moment of their fight. She could not let bygones be bygones.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 6:20 pm
Hijil felt the crowd begin to move again. But she was not done yet. She caught the trail of the ice man and began investigating. She had never done anything like this before, and she wasn't sure exactly why, only that she needed to find out as much as she could about him. She lurked in the shadows and behind the carts and remaining stalls, watching him and those around him. She spent her last few coins on something small and oily and watched him from a wall. He didn't seem to notice her as she learned about him and his destination.
Finally, the crowd began to thin and Hijil began to feel far too conspicuous. She had never been inconspicuous to be honest- she was large bodied among many svelt forms. But she was good at blending in and being just another unremarkable face in the crowd. She had been unremarkable her entire life, it was only a slight shift to be so intentionally. But blending into a crowd required a crowd, and without one, she would be noticed- a black and white shape among the primarily blue and pale tan of the tribes of the East that had congregated in this area of the stands to prepare to go home.
She slipped away, satisfied with what information she had garnered.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 6:30 pm
The crowd was thinning and Hijil knew she had to leave. She had enjoyed being around the crowds and the people, but it was time to go. Alone.
There were many groups, though a few others travelled in solitude. It was, Hijil knew, better and safer to travel in a group. A few such groups were returning to the deep reaches of the jungle. Hijil had no group, but she wanted to glimpse a person, one person, before she left.
She snuck behind a tree and watched an alkidike group begin to move on. She searched each face until she found her at the very edge. The look on her face made Hijil smile and she wanted so badly to join her.
But she tore her gaze away and, not quite satisfied with this 'goodbye', she left to make her own way home. Whatever home was.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:54 pm
Rumination and Decision
658 - words-
Hijil lurked in a tree near the faireground where she couldn't be seen. It was definitely time to go- the last vendors were leaving and even the most war-startled of the onlookers had moved on. But where would she go? What would she do?
She knew where she could go. Zena was a whole contident away, but she knew she might be able to make it. After all, she had never been so intent on a goal in her life. That man had beaten her dearest friend to an unconcious pulp. She knew she was capable of following him to his cold home. She knew she was capable of a lot of things right now, not all of them savory.
During the tournament, the normally shy and reserved Hijil had started poking around about this 'Ruelash'. She had watched every fight he had participated in, and when she had found the opportunity to do so, she followed him around and observed him. Despite her size, she could be sneaky when she wanted to be. She had listened to his conversations- as best she could anyway- and had managed to compile a great deal of useful information.
First and foremost, he was an angry young man. Everything he did seemed suffused with repressed anger. It didn't matter what: his walk, his movements, his every word betrayed an underlying fire. Especially his fighting style. He was like a wild beast in the ring- stalking and, most of all, pouncing with dagger drawn. She hadn't seen much in the way of strategy in any of his fights save for the last one against the shieldwielder.
She had heard him mention Secer to an animal saleswoman and had gathered, through careful questions, that Secer was an isolated town in Northern Zena that trained Raptrix. He had been talking about a delivery of a black Aldabuck, so she assumed that that was where he lived.
She had all the information she needed to track him right to his door and do... what, exactly? After she had left her friend's healing bed, she had wanted to beat him to a bloody unconcious pulp. It would only be fair. She rarely got this angry, in fact, she didn't think she had ever felt this angry before. It had felt oddly right to feel this way. She had wanted to track him, trap him, and pay him back with her fists.
But now that her anger had cooled, she wondered if she really should do that. Thinking on her idea now with a clearer head, she realized that vengeance- like that- was not her style. The anger still felt right, but it actually felt a little wrong to corner this ice tribesman on a dark path and batter him down. Even the thought of what he had done to her didn't chase away the doubts that began to creep into her mind. No, it would not be right to do that. Nor would pummeling vengeance be what she would want, especially not with Hijil doing it. Not in that way. Hijil berated herself silently. She had known that.
No. She could go to Zena, but she would not. She didn't feel that her time had been wasted gathering information on this Ruelash. It had been interesting, after all, and it had given her something to do other than roam the stands without enough money to buy more than a snack or watch the fights that were not as interesting without her in them. Maybe the information would become useful later, but she felt the strange obsession - which had taken hold of her- begin to drain away. Oddly, she found herself already missing her ramshackle hermit existance in Jahuar. She had enjoyed the crowds and the faire and the sounds of people enjoying themselves, but in the end it was time to go back to where she belonged.
Besides. There was a war to prepare for.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 3:07 pm
Fangs (Class Affinity)
- 1488 words
It had been a while since everything had fallen apart and Hijil was finally starting to get used to it. The guilt hadn't totally dissipated, though. The nightmares were still there and she would never forget what she had done- the memories felt burned into her soul like etched glass. Some late nights she wondered why she kept on living, or if she even deserved to live. Those nights, fortunately, were becoming fewer and far between. Life went on and wasn't actually so bad.
Initially, she had wanted to survive as a sort of punishment, but this desire had faded away into the background of actually surviving. It was difficult fending for herself in the Jahuar wilderness, away from any hope or help, but life had always been difficult for Hijil.
The tournament had helped her gain perspective on her situation. After going to the fairegrounds and being around other people, after watching the fights and hearing the warning of war, and- especially – after seeing her again, Hijil had felt clearer headed than she had been in a long time. How long it had been since her mother had died... she didn't know. A long time. It didn't matter. She wanted to survive now, and if there was something Hijil was good at, it was surviving.
In that interest, she had set up a temporary little tree home in a pleasant enough part of the jungle. It was not much more than a bunch of leaves and a few branches, but it kept the rain off and- most of all- gave her a place to return to. She hadn't realized how much that meant to her until she had nowhere to go.
Today, she was replenishing her stores of food with gathering. The chore brought back memories, both good and ill. How many long days and nights had she spent gathering food that would go into their stewpot that same night? How many times had her efforts been the difference between being able to eat and going hungry? How often had she come home, not knowing whether mother would be happy or sad or angry with what she found? How many trying and frustrating days had ended with nights of beratement and yelling? There were a lot of them. She felt melancholy. There had been one person that had made it all work. Those nights she had spent with her had made the harsh days worthwhile.
Hijil didn't deserve to see her again. For an alkidike, whose mothers pleaded for them to exist, what would they think of someone who had killed their own mother? It had been an accident, yes. But it was terrible none the less. Hijil had thought about it long and hard and she had decided that she was better off without a mother-killer in her life. She would find someone else to love, Hijil was sure. Hijil had to live with the regret, but she... no... that woman didn't have to. Hijil picked up a root and smiled sadly. The love of her life wouldn't have to endure this escape-less heartbreak and agony. It was the least Hijil could do. That one glimpse of her at the tournament had been enough to bring back all of her tangled emotions, the memories as clear as the day they were made. She felt guilty, a little, having gone to her bedside, but she could not have done anything else...
The snap of a twig nearby sent a tremor along her spine and she broke off her revery, stiffening and listening. She was as still as a stone. Another crack, followed by a soft huff of air. Something was out there. More than one something, by the sound of it. Suddenly, there was a rush of movement from behind her. Hijil whirled to face it, hands out.
It was a wild radaku, claws and teeth glittering sharply in the dim light of the daylit jungle. Hijil managed, by pure luck, to grab it by the horns and hold it back. It hadn't been expecting that. Startled, it snapped at her, missing, and with a great heave she flung it aside.
It crashed into the body of it's partner, and they tumbled together, hitting a tree before they managed to right themselves. They spat and snarled in fury. A fang lay broken on the ground, stained red with blood, but neither Radaku seemed to mind. Hijil heard a rustle of leaves behind her They're trying to distract me she realized. On pure instinct, she ducked as a third radaku soared over her head. It's flailing claws sunk into it's own comrade, and- with an eruption of snarls and blood- they set into each other.
While they clawed and fought, the first one watched her and stalked around her, cautiously. She moved first, surprising it again with a punch in the face. It reeled back and she quickly hit it again, feeling its jaw crack under her knuckles. She picked it up and hefted it towards the quarreling pair, using it's careening body as cover to rush in herself.
The radaku stopped fighting long enough to leap out of the way, letting him crash into a tree behind them with a pitiful yelp. He crumpled to the ground, barely breathing, as Hijil charged forward.
She hit one of them with the full force of her momentum, driving her elbow into their side. She pulled her hand back to punch them in the head even as their pained cry echoed in her skull.
But she had forgotten the other Radaku: it bit down hard, blade-like teeth sinking into her forearm. She cried out in pain and tried to shake it off, but her movements only drove the teeth deeper. It kept its hold on her arm and raked out at at her with it's claws. Shallow gashes tore along her side. Even as pain tried to steal her reason, she managed to keep her head clear. Seeing an oppurtunity, Hijil flung the arm that the Radaku held at the nearest solid object- a glowing tree just behind her.
The radaku hit the tree with a muffled yelp, it's jaws going limp. She pried it off of her, holding her bleeding arm as she backed away, assessing. One radaku no longer appeared to be breathing. Two appeared stunned, but they were stirring and would soon be up. Adrenaline raced through her system and her eyes were wild as she struggled to make a choice. Finish them off, or flee?
The stunned radaku struggled to their feet and shook themselves out, regarding her warily as she slowly backed away. They stalked towards her, tensely.
Her heart pounded and adrenaline buzzed through her veins. They were cautious, but they were still coming at her. She was still their prey. She had to act- running away was not an option. They would catch up with her easily with their long, powerful legs. She crouched, intending to hold her ground.
The radaku stalked closer, yipping at each other. Suddenly, they both tensed and lunged in unison, one from the side and the other straight at her. She hunched down, protecting the side of her neck with her shoulders as she grabbed the one that was charging her dead on. Fangs sunk deep into her upper arm, but she ignored it for the time being, barely feeling the pain through the haze of adrenaline. She bore the Radaku down by its horns and stomped on it's head. It made a loud, long, sputtering whimper before lying still.
She was aware of the pain in her side, and she grabbed the Radaku by it's scruff with her other hand and tore it off of her, flinging it and her own blood as far as she could away from her.
It stumbled to its feet once more and regarded her warily. She stared right back, feeling suddenly very cold. Exhaustion danced at the edge of her awareness.
The Radaku hesitated, glancing at it's downed companions, and then began to back away into the shade of the jungle. It's chosen to fight another day Hijil thought, staring at the place where it had vanished, listening for any sound that would herald its return. An hour passed, then another. Adrenaline faded from her system and pain began to sear itself along her muscles even as she felt dragged down by the weight of the world.
She needed to close her eyes, but she knew that was a terrible idea. She needed to tend to her wounds first, otherwise she would die. She forced herself to climb a tree through the pain and fatigue to the safety of the branches above and began tending her wounds with whatever she had gathered and whatever she could spare.
She felt woozy and fatigued, but what she could do now would have to be enough. She had to survive. She had to.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:20 am
Hijil woke up suddenly, her heart racing from a nightmare she could not remember. Here in the understory, daylight was hard to find. Between the shading of the leaves and the glow of the fungus, it could be either at any time. She looked at her skin, seeing that it was in the process of shifting from white to black. She felt stronger now, more like herself, and she knew that she had to go.
She could see Sauron sleeping nearby and smiled. She was truly grateful to him. She hoped she could repay the favor someday. But first, she could release him from this burden of caring for her. Especially since he didn't know what she had done. It would be best not to put him in a position to know.
Carefully, she uncocooned herself from the makeshift blankets and climbed down the tree. Her bandages held as she landed and paused, making sure she could escape. With one final look at Sauron, she left the clearing, stalking off into the wilderness to find a different tree and a different path. The ground was dangerous, but she needed to find a series of easier branches. Her wounds were not fully healed, and she had never been particularly agile- by shifter terms- in trees, given her size. She needed to be careful.
For she had learned something today, or, rather, Sauron had taught it to her. She now knew she wanted to live, more than as punishment. She wanted to live for life itself and to secure her future.
Hijil wouldn't blame her if she had found another woman. But, after seeing her at the tournament, Hijil needed to see her again, even if from afar again. She needed to know, and help in what small ways she could.
She headed in a direction she thought was North and West, towards the coast and the Alkidike lands. At the very least, even if she couldn't find her again, she could at least be a bit closer.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
