TTC and Adoption Support O5.29.2O15

What about you?

I'm trying to conceive!	15.2%	[ 96 ]
I have a baby!	7.0%	[ 44 ]
I'm TTC #2+!	3.3%	[ 21 ]
I don't want kids	22.2%	[ 140 ]
I'm pregnant!	7.8%	[ 49 ]
I'm infertile	5.1%	[ 32 ]
I'm just voting~	39.5%	[ 249 ]
Total Votes:			[ 631 ]

[II a r c II]

Persais13

Omg Persaissss when did you grows uppp gonk

I think I had just graduated HS when we first met. Either that or I was in my first year of college- I can't remember. So long ago either way!!!!

You are such a sweet heart <3 I'm so glad to see you stuck with it because your art has REALLY flourished!!!! Seriously!!! I'm a little jealous of that picture with the stars and the figure standing in the grass.... I wish I could do lighting and coloring like that, holy hell!!!!

Thank you for sending your thoughts and prayers with me, I'll be honest with you; since me and Donald had been together for 3 years by the time we'd reached senior year in high school we were already talking about marriage, how many kids we wanted, ect. Our personal relationship between each other however ended up being too conflicting when we were still young (and a little immature) and we had to move away from each other for a while (we had been living together for about 2 years by the time we "broke up" wink .

When we got back together we'd both been living on our own and had stable jobs and such which kind of taught us a lot about how to live independently, we really needed that. We were able to mesh back together as if nothing had happened and picked up right back where we left off! We found a town house together in the city, lived there for a while (but the city is dirty and gross and full of scary people so we moved away LOL) and it turned out to be great for us because we got the opportunity to buy the home we're in now~!

I wouldn't put yourself down so much for being young, while my story presented problems with being your age at the time, my grandmother actually was 17 when she eloped (literally ran away with my grandpa) and dropped out of high school and had my mom. Now my grandpa is retired from his carpentry business (the income from which he used to build their dream house by the lake) and my grandma is an assistant principle at the middle school (she graduated from college in her mid 30's and spent the rest of her time up until 2 years ago teaching Algebra, Trig., Calculus, and Geometry to High Schoolers) they also had 2 more kids.

So my grandparents were even a little younger than you when they started their family, it all depends on the people <3

[Persais13]

II a r c II

AP CLASSES CHANGE YOU, ARCY-POO. After you take them, there's no going back. D:

Ugh, I know, it's been a long long time. xD Like. Super duper long. Like I don't even know how long. :C

Awh well thank you, it means a lot <3

Well it's nice to see that things have worked out for you two the way they did~ c:

Jeez, I can't ever imagine myself doing that anytime soon. xD I am way too psyched to start college and further my education. (pfff, I feel like a dork saying that) But I guess I've never really had somebody that I'd really want to run away with and have kids with or whatever. It'd probably be really different if I had a highschool sweetheart like you or your grandparents had~
I don't know, if I end up anything like my parents or my older brother, it'll probably be a good 6 or 7 years before I have any luck with relationships, lol.

[II a r c II]

Persais13

Hey there's nothin' wrong with that either!!!

What are you looking to major in? Any special school you have picked out?

My hubby wants to go back to school in the next year or so, I'm trying to convince him to just do his gen. eds. online then go to a technical school for whatever it is he's wanting to get a degree in.

[Persais13]

II a r c II

I don't know yet. o:
I want to do something biology-related. I'll probably pick ecology or genetics or something. I'm not sure. D: I want to double major though, one science-y and then one art related. Probably like illustration or just basic visual art, depending school~
There are a few local schools I've been looking at here in Kentucky; Transy, Morehead, Centre, Midway. In a perfect world I would go to Duke in NC, but I doubt I could get the kind of finances I would need, especially since it's out of state. Plus I got a pretty crappy grade in my AP Chem class this past year which I doubt would help me get into a school like that. xD But yeah, I'll probably just end up applying to like 5 or 6 schools and then taking it from there. I've only ever visited the campuses of like two of the colleges I'm looking at; when I'm at Morehead it feels like a total perfect fit and they have an awesome art program and all of the students I've met there are great, but I'm just not so sure on their other academics, you know? o:
I also really really want to study abroad, and, other than Transy, almost none of the schools here have good, solid study abroad programs. D:

[II a r c II]

Persais13

Wow you are so academic!!

I was never so enthusiastic about college, that's great for you! I wish you the best of luck with the school you choose. All I can say is make sure wherever you go has a great student support program. I was so comfortable at the college I chose, their art program was one of the biggest parts of the college, along with teaching and nursing... but they had no care for their student body. It is all about money, attendance, and keeping you on campus. If you are a commuter they couldn't care less about you :c

I always wanted to study abroad, too, so I know how you feel there. It's hard to find a college with a good study abroad program nearby.

Speaking of Kentucky, I almost went to Lousiville for college! I was enrolled at Sullivan University and the move-in day was just 2 weeks away... It's an 8 hour drive one way from where I live and the thought terrified me lol I'm a momma's girl. Plus I was kind of pressured in to choosing a culinary school by my teachers, Sullivan specifically.

The counselor was extremely rude on the phone with me when I told t hem I couldn't go. Lol! Pretty much told me "You can never come back!"

[Persais13]

II a r c II

Lol yeah, I guess I'm kinda a dork like that xD Awh, I've never thought about that. When I talk to counselors I'll need to make sure to ask them about their student programs and whatnot. o:
Mmhmm. I traveled a lot as a kid so studying abroad is a huge deal maker/breaker for me. I really hope to go to Germany or some nearby country, because I've taken German every year of highschool so far and I really love the language~ c:
Well, small world~ c: I would be totally fine going anywhere in the country. Only problem is that going out of state costs more. Not to mention commuting home for holidays. xD Lol, my highschool has a lot of kids who go to Louisville. I've never really looked into it much, but it's only like 45 minutes from where I live, so~ c':

[II a r c II]

Persais13

Man I would hate to live next to Lousiville, it's gotta be like the biggest city in the US, but I guess there's a lot of stuff to do there.

Buhh my tummy hurts. ; 3; too much water and food and coffee and stufffffff lol. /bloated

[Ocean_of_Psalms]

Well, I just wanted to share my story. I have an 8 year old son, and I gave birth to his baby sister April 29, 2013. She was born with Transposition of the Great Arteries; a severe heart defect. At 3 days old, she had open heart surgery. After surgery she was put on a machine called ECMO. This machine did all the work of the heart and lungs for her, to allow her body to rest and recover from surgery. But she never recovered. Her lungs got sicker. Her hands and feet turned purple from poor circulation, and for 2 weeks, she held on. At 14 days old, she passed away. Her lungs could not keep up with the blood her heart pumped to the body. They could not oxygenate the blood. I only held her 3 times. Once for a couple minutes before they airflighted her to a better children's hospital right after delivery, once for about 10 minutes before surgery, and once after she passed away and we gave her cooling cheeks kisses. She had so many tubes and drainage we couldn't hold her after surgery.

It's the worst pain I have ever felt. I feel lost without her. Sometimes, I can even feel like a weight in my arms, as if she were in them, and I look down and she isn't there.

I immediately said I want to try again. Some people look at me like it's evil of me to want to try again. Like I am trying to replace her. No one can ever replace my baby girl...my angel. She is always with me, and will always hold a most special place in my heart, and I can't wait to hold her again one day in Heaven. But for now, I feel like, I just won't ever be FULLY happy, unless I have one more baby.

And so, I am trying to concieve.

Thanks for listening.

God bless you all, and I pray for all of you who are praying for a baby =) I pray we all will be blessed in this request.

[II a r c II]

Moombalacious

Well, I just wanted to share my story. I have an 8 year old son, and I gave birth to his baby sister April 29, 2013. She was born with Transposition of the Great Arteries; a severe heart defect. At 3 days old, she had open heart surgery. After surgery she was put on a machine called ECMO. This machine did all the work of the heart and lungs for her, to allow her body to rest and recover from surgery. But she never recovered. Her lungs got sicker. Her hands and feet turned purple from poor circulation, and for 2 weeks, she held on. At 14 days old, she passed away. Her lungs could not keep up with the blood her heart pumped to the body. They could not oxygenate the blood. I only held her 3 times. Once for a couple minutes before they airflighted her to a better children's hospital right after delivery, once for about 10 minutes before surgery, and once after she passed away and we gave her cooling cheeks kisses. She had so many tubes and drainage we couldn't hold her after surgery.

It's the worst pain I have ever felt. I feel lost without her. Sometimes, I can even feel like a weight in my arms, as if she were in them, and I look down and she isn't there.

I immediately said I want to try again. Some people look at me like it's evil of me to want to try again. Like I am trying to replace her. No one can ever replace my baby girl...my angel. She is always with me, and will always hold a most special place in my heart, and I can't wait to hold her again one day in Heaven. But for now, I feel like, I just won't ever be FULLY happy, unless I have one more baby.

And so, I am trying to concieve.

Thanks for listening.

God bless you all, and I pray for all of you who are praying for a baby =) I pray we all will be blessed in this request.

I am so sorry for your loss. May I ask what her name is?

One of my greatest fears has been that my first pregnancy will lead to miscarriage (as my mom's did), but I try not to think about it. I am praying for you, your son, your angel, and for lots of sticky baby dust your way. <3

[BloodyAttentionJunkie]

I have a curious question, and though I know it can be taken as rude I assure you, it's not meant to be as such.

What I don't understand is why is it so horrible to adopt?
If you're one who is having a hard time getting pregnant, why not adopt a kid that doesn't have anyone? Isn't it kind of...selfish?

[II a r c II]

xXxMaybeStarsxXx

I have a curious question, and though I know it can be taken as rude I assure you, it's not meant to be as such.

What I don't understand is why is it so horrible to adopt?
If you're one who is having a hard time getting pregnant, why not adopt a kid that doesn't have anyone? Isn't it kind of...selfish?

First of all... your question is not rude, the way you word it is rude.

No one in here has ever said adopting is horrible.

Secondly; adopting isn't as simple as going to the orphanage and picking a child out. It's a long process (usually takes over a year as long as everything runs completely smooth) that costs a lot of money that isn't covered by any kind of insurance or aid.

That's not to mention preparing yourself mentally. When you spend years dreaming of the bond you'll form with your child from preconception to nursing it's hard to imagine giving up and choosing some one else's child. Plus you must prepare yourself with questions like "How will I tell him/her? Will I? Will the parents want to stay in contact? Does he/she have siblings that want to stay in contact?" ect. ect.

I was actually looking at our state's adoption website earlier today, sadly most of the children are already teenagers (I feel it would be a little strange to try and "raise" some one who is only 5-6 years younger than myself), and many of them have siblings and must be adopted together (some as many as a group of 4).

I narrowed my search by selecting a child of any gender with any physical or mental disabilities with an age of 5 or younger, the search resulted in one child; a girl, four years old, who must walk with leg braces and has a baby brother who was adopted by another family whom she wants to remain in contact with. She has curly brown hair and blue eyes, and her name started with an I but it was a bit unusual so I can't remember exactly what it was at the moment.

Please don't come in here and accuse anyone of being selfish. It's not like it's not an option I or anyone who has been TTC for years or has been declared infertile has considered. It's not like choosing a pound puppy. There is a long emotional and financial/legal process that comes with it.

[Brother Kam]

II a r c II

Brother Kam

If I've had a lot of unprotected sex does it mean I'm probably sterile? I mean a lot. It's only been with a couple girls but it was almost every day for a few years.

Not necessarily! One of my friends from work was telling me a story about how her and her first husband tried for 8 years to have a baby without luck, but when they divorced he got his new girlfriend pregnant within the year. And she got pregnant with her new husband back to back with her two girls.

Or perhaps you could have a below-average sperm count which makes fertilization a little less likely?

Either way, if you think you have a problem you can get your sperm count done; they should test how fertile you are and everything as well.

Good luck, hon.

Thanks, though I don't know if kids would ever be a good idea for me at this rate. I have a hard enough time keeping myself together on my own with addictions and working 50 hours a week. Some day though, maybe. I hope the things I've done haven't ruined that part of life for me.

[II a r c II]

Brother Kam

Thanks, though I don't know if kids would ever be a good idea for me at this rate. I have a hard enough time keeping myself together on my own with addictions and working 50 hours a week. Some day though, maybe. I hope the things I've done haven't ruined that part of life for me.

It takes a great deal of maturity to admit those things to yourself, which in my book is a step forward. Keep your chin up, and if you really want to improve you will. c:

One of my very best friends was raised around a family who introduced her to drug use early in her life, so naturally that was the course she took through high school and afterwards. To this day I feel bad for abandoning her during that time in her life. I wanted nothing to do with it and she wouldn't listen to anyone but the friends who were supplying/using with her.

And then she met a man who helped her get away from that life style in college. Their relationship lasted a long while, and though it didn't work out she is still clean today. She was promoted to manager at her job; recently moved into a very nice place with her current boyfriend, and has been able to reconnect with the other side of her family as well as friends like myself. She not only seems to be so much happier but her outward appearance is so much healthier as well.

I don't know what the process was like for her, but I'm sure it's not easy and every now and again I send her a message reminding her of how proud I am of her.

I wish I had some tips or advice for you but it's ultimately a decision you must make on your own and the process I'm sure is different for everyone.

[felliscity]

I wish you the best of luck. I am still young, and while I want to start my family soon now is not the best time.

My fiancé's brother and partner have been TTC for #2 for the last 6 months or so. Trying to work around his work schedule (4:1 FIFO) has been hard for them. They have been successful, but unfortunately she has miscarried twice in as many months. I know it's been devistating for them.

[Brother Kam]

II a r c II

Brother Kam

Thanks, though I don't know if kids would ever be a good idea for me at this rate. I have a hard enough time keeping myself together on my own with addictions and working 50 hours a week. Some day though, maybe. I hope the things I've done haven't ruined that part of life for me.

It takes a great deal of maturity to admit those things to yourself, which in my book is a step forward. Keep your chin up, and if you really want to improve you will. c:

One of my very best friends was raised around a family who introduced her to drug use early in her life, so naturally that was the course she took through high school and afterwards. To this day I feel bad for abandoning her during that time in her life. I wanted nothing to do with it and she wouldn't listen to anyone but the friends who were supplying/using with her.

And then she met a man who helped her get away from that life style in college. Their relationship lasted a long while, and though it didn't work out she is still clean today. She was promoted to manager at her job; recently moved into a very nice place with her current boyfriend, and has been able to reconnect with the other side of her family as well as friends like myself. She not only seems to be so much happier but her outward appearance is so much healthier as well.

I don't know what the process was like for her, but I'm sure it's not easy and every now and again I send her a message reminding her of how proud I am of her.

I wish I had some tips or advice for you but it's ultimately a decision you must make on your own and the process I'm sure is different for everyone.

While a bit off topic, the sentiment is greatly appreciated. I've already been looking into it for a long time but it's a very delicate situation to begin with so I need to wait for certain things to occur before it'd even be worth trying to stop right now. I know it needs to happen though, thanks for the motivation.