Sharplydulls
(?)Community Member
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- Posted: Tue, 10 Aug 2010 01:22:36 +0000
If you really knew me, you'd know that I want nothing more than to throw up the contents of my stomach until there's nothing left, even if there is nothing there in the first place.
If you really knew me, you'd also know that I'm terrified to do it, even though every time I see myself I appear imperfect and disgusting.
I'm often disgusted with not only my appearance, but my pathetically boring existence. I'm too terrified to take risks, and yet I want to take them so badly. Changing my appearance, learning new things.
If you really knew me, you'd know just how scared I am, and how I've lost all ability to trust people.
I see relationships with guys as frightening, and I'm not interested in girls. I often have anxiety attacks and there are some nights when I am unable to sleep at all.
Sometimes, I wish I were insane so that I'd at least have an explanation for why I have odd, frightening thoughts and feelings. I feel as though it'd be more enjoyable than my current situation, even though deep down, I know I'm wrong.
If you really knew me, you'd also know that I'm terrified to do it, even though every time I see myself I appear imperfect and disgusting.
I'm often disgusted with not only my appearance, but my pathetically boring existence. I'm too terrified to take risks, and yet I want to take them so badly. Changing my appearance, learning new things.
If you really knew me, you'd know just how scared I am, and how I've lost all ability to trust people.
I see relationships with guys as frightening, and I'm not interested in girls. I often have anxiety attacks and there are some nights when I am unable to sleep at all.
Sometimes, I wish I were insane so that I'd at least have an explanation for why I have odd, frightening thoughts and feelings. I feel as though it'd be more enjoyable than my current situation, even though deep down, I know I'm wrong.