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If you really knew me, you'd know that I want nothing more than to throw up the contents of my stomach until there's nothing left, even if there is nothing there in the first place.
If you really knew me, you'd also know that I'm terrified to do it, even though every time I see myself I appear imperfect and disgusting.
I'm often disgusted with not only my appearance, but my pathetically boring existence. I'm too terrified to take risks, and yet I want to take them so badly. Changing my appearance, learning new things.
If you really knew me, you'd know just how scared I am, and how I've lost all ability to trust people.
I see relationships with guys as frightening, and I'm not interested in girls. I often have anxiety attacks and there are some nights when I am unable to sleep at all.
Sometimes, I wish I were insane so that I'd at least have an explanation for why I have odd, frightening thoughts and feelings. I feel as though it'd be more enjoyable than my current situation, even though deep down, I know I'm wrong.
Moondancer883's avatar

Ruthless Lunatic

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if you really knew me, you'd know that i am actually very lucky in comparison to my other friends and i hate myself for that. i can't do anything to help them, just stand and watch while torturing myself on the sidelines for the random toss of luck i was given
lexiiluvsyou101's avatar

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if you really knew me you'd know that i envy most of my friends because they are always so happy and i have to hide behind fake smile everyday and i really wish i could be myself around them but i know no 1 would care if i did... thats why i have maybe 1 friend that i talk to on a regular basis... :/
im never the girl who has lots of friends that care or get envied by others and its really hard to know you cant ever find anything to express your feelings besides crying
Un Sogno Di Amore
Fresco_Delight
If you really knew me...

You would know that each day I wake up I hate myself more than I did the day before, and that I hate looking in mirrors because all I see is ugly staring back at me. You would know that I use to cut in order to feel something, to know if I'm alive or not. That I build walls so no one can get in, and the fact that I'm saying all this now to you all amazes me. You would know that I thought about killing myself constantly and still think about it today. If you really knew me, you would know that I never feel like I'm good enough for anybody and that I'm scared to death that I'll never marry or have a future with a loving guy. You would know that compared to my sister and brother I feel like a complete failure to my parents. I'm alone, ugly, worthless, and scared of the future..and I have no idea how to fix anything about me.

Many of the things you said I can relate to, except for the cutting. I'm just starting to gain a brighter perspective on life and hope is slowly coming to me but their are days when everything feels so impossible and I just want to dig a hole a bury myself in it. Just remember that you are never alone in your feelings or that no one understands you because someone else can be feeling the same.

Thank you, I do try to keep that on my mind and realize that compared to many my problems are nothing. I like to help others, and by helping others it allows me to push my feelings aside for a little while.
SojuPang's avatar

Desirable Prophet

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If you really knew me you would know that I don't believe bi-sexuality is real.
HAO666's avatar

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NewYorkGurl4Evr
If you really knew me, you would know that i have been wanting to kill myself since i was 10.
But i always think about my brothers and sisters. And i hide all the pain with a smile. None of my real life friends know this.
Do you have anything that you would like to share????
swagger K's avatar

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if u really knew im muscular but im also sensitive
Shino Babie's avatar

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tf u relly knew me, u wuld know that i hav mixd emotions about evrything, i hav family probelms and perfer 2 b alone or with sum1 that i know who i cn tell anything 2.. im depressed but hide it with a fake smile. i also cry myself 2 sleep about everything iv bn through in the last yr
Ceince's avatar

Newbie Prophet

Uuuhh ' Where To Begin ..

If Youu really Knew Me , Youu Would See The Lonesome Girl Of The Whole Group. Not Like The Image Youu See Of The Girl That All Smilingg , Loud , Funny , && ' "Pretty" ..How All My Life I've Been Cryingg Myself To Sleep ... My Parents Aree Tigether For NO DAMN REASOn So They Fight Mostly Every Single Night... How My Dad Went Threw Alot && ' Take It Out Onn My Brother && ' I . Either Way My Dad && ' I Have No Connectionn . He Just Dicided That I Ain't Family , I'm Just A Whoore Who Is Gonna Get Pregnant At Age 16 ... I Have NO Family Ever Since My "Uncle" Died Of Aids. Well My Bestfriend , Who I Sometimess Let Out .All My Anger. My mother , She's the Reasonn I TRUST No One. ... I'm Baisly Always Home Alone. Nobody Notices That i Crry Till I'm All red && ' Puffy .. I Use To Cut Myselff ( Thought That Was Right) . Been Wantinggg tTo Die Since I Was 10 ... How I Grew Up Inn The Ghetto Doee I'm A Caged Bird ... But I Maged To Tell Myself The Next Day Is The Day Everythingg Is Gonna Work Out When Nothingg Inn My Life Has ..
You would know that I was molested, and it's greatly affected the way I think about relationships and guys in general. I have the worst luck with guys, period.
If you really new me you would know that the scares on my wrist are real and my excuse is my cats. you would know that i considered kiling myself 3 times. you would know that i feel like i have to be perfect for everone and that i beat myself up for not being patite and being big boned like god intended me to be you would know that people think i'm weired and dont belong. you would know that i cried 93 times and counting this year because of my bipolar mom and controlling dad. you would know when i almost had sex for the first time my mom hit me with a book and then later finding out that same guy i though i was in love with had sex with 3 other girls after he didnt get anything out of me. it goes on but thats just the start for this year...
Zucker Katze's avatar

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If you really knew me, you'd know I was anorexic and bulemic for a year now. I understand what you're going through, sweety.
Giganticat's avatar

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NewYorkGurl4Evr
If you really knew me, you would know that i have been wanting to kill myself since i was 10.
But i always think about my brothers and sisters. And i hide all the pain with a smile. None of my real life friends know this.
Do you have anything that you would like to share????

if youve wanted to kill yourself, then why dont you? dont you own any large kitchen knifes? you have a heart and/or brain, correct?

anyway... if you really knew me, youd know that im a super nerd, but im really hot in real life! youd also be wondering why the ******** im wearing this michael jackson jacket...
UnderNightStars's avatar

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lil_chula_4life
if you really knew me you would know im popular smexii and bi!

youre so lucky!!!you are pretty(im not lesbian,im just saying)!

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