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Ailindrae's avatar

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If you really knew me, you'd realize that I am hard on myself when it comes to my artwork, and I fear that my artistic skills will never improve.

If you really knew me, you'd realize that I have a hard time trusting people, due to constant betrayal.

If you really knew me, you'd realize the only thing I hate is hate itself.
If you really knew me, you'd know that I was gay, and that I highly relate to the girl who started this forum. Though I have been suicidal since I was 13, I can't do it...otherwise I would have by now sweatdrop heh...If you really knew me, you'd know that I do whatever I can to try to make others happy, and not worry about my own happiness. If you really knew me, you'd know that I have athazagoraphobia, which is the fear of being forgotten...
jellochow's avatar

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ii emo-Sharpies x3
if u really knew me u would know that everytime i wake up and look in the mirror i think im fat,a bimbo,and ugly
if u really knew me u would kno tht i only like 1 guy and he doesnt like me back and instead some ppl im not interested in do like me
if u really knew me u would know that i think im boring and tht once i find a guy hes gunna dump me becuz of tht
if u really really knew me u would know tht i never take off my jacket cuz(like i said b4)i think i look fat.

me too and my other jacket got holes in it bc i wore it too much so i made my mom buy me a new one
Hold Ctrl Alt Delete's avatar

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Hold Ctrl Alt Delete
If you really knew me...

You would know I've never moved on from my last girlfriend. I have put on a mask to deceive everyone that everything is fine with me. I smile, I walk forward, but she was always on my mind. I'm on the verge of doing something horrible to myself, but I want to get over it, I really do. If only you knew the pain and suffering I'm going through right now, and this is what you didn't know.

i totaly know how u feel and whats worse is this guy lives right down the street from me and i cant leave my block without seeing his house
Sucks, but for me a lot of things about her triggers when I see something of her interests. It's a painful curse.
Hmmm..
If you really knew me, you'd know I can't control my anger, I'm lonely, I'm a great singer, I'm pretty avid when it comes to anime and manga released between 2002-2006, and I plan on enlisting in the military after I get my associates.
But people see me as a friendly hippie. Hahah. Oh well.
Kautious_Krayons's avatar

O.G. Smoker

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WOW!

If you really knew me,

You could say that I have a mild case of ADHD, That I barley trust myself ( Because of past friends but mostly me!)
I try to be a dare devil to look cool, I suck in my gut just to [u]TRY[/u] to look skinny and hot.
I'm really not skinny! I've been told that the only reason people like me is b/c I make them feel good!
I've Held a knife to my neck plenty of times, I've thought about running into the kitchen to get a butcher knife to slice me up piece by piece!
If you really knew me you could say that I love gaia for 2 reasons....
The gaian population makes me feel special/wanted.... and Girls actually talk to me for who I am not what i look like!
IF you really knew me....
You would know that I've gone to bed/laid in bed crying b/c i feel I will never find that special someone!
Music is another reason why I'm still alive! (Truth)
Friends/Family are the other reason why I'm alive
If you really knew me you would know that my parents are divorced and it really hurtz me b/c if i say to my dad or my 2 bro's that i believe what my mom tellz me....They yell or cuss me out...and my mom talks s**t bout my dad if i say i believe him!

If you really knew me....
You would know that the little the friends i have make me feel awesome...
You would know also that the main reason i'm alive is because of my lord and savior Jesus Christ!
You would know that I want to go emo to see if people wuld care or die and see if people would really care....

But i know i have a purpose on life and that i should carry that out!

WOW!
Long I know sorry lol
I'll be praying for everyone!
Red Lights Gray Morning
Fresco_Delight
If you really knew me...

You would know that each day I wake up I hate myself more than I did the day before, and that I hate looking in mirrors because all I see is ugly staring back at me. You would know that I use to cut in order to feel something, to know if I'm alive or not. That I build walls so no one can get in, and the fact that I'm saying all this now to you all amazes me. You would know that I thought about killing myself constantly and still think about it today. If you really knew me, you would know that I never feel like I'm good enough for anybody and that I'm scared to death that I'll never marry or have a future with a loving guy. You would know that compared to my sister and brother I feel like a complete failure to my parents. I'm alone, ugly, worthless, and scared of the future..and I have no idea how to fix anything about me.

*hugs*x100
Me too hun.





If you really knew me, you'd know that I can't remember life without self harm
You'd know that the pain in my ankles isn't from twisting it, it's from the nerve damage I've done.
You'd know that those bracelets were to cover my first cut like everyone joked.
You'd know that that time I burst all those vessels in my face, it wasn't from being upside down, it was from trying too hard to make myself throw up.
You'd know that I hate myself
You'd know that I'm not good at anything
You'd know that I lie when you ask how I am. And I can do it with a straight face.
You'd know that my friends stopped caring how I'm doing.
You'd know that I am barely functioning.
You'd know how bad the anxiety is.
You'd know that I desperately want help, but I can't afford it.
You'd know I just want someone to hug me and tell me they love me.




:C I don't think you deserve to feel thhat way, noone does.. I'd give you a REAL hug, but this is as good as it gets for now *HUGS x100000000000000000*
Red Lights Gray Morning's avatar

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Issues_Tralala
Red Lights Gray Morning
Fresco_Delight
If you really knew me...

You would know that each day I wake up I hate myself more than I did the day before, and that I hate looking in mirrors because all I see is ugly staring back at me. You would know that I use to cut in order to feel something, to know if I'm alive or not. That I build walls so no one can get in, and the fact that I'm saying all this now to you all amazes me. You would know that I thought about killing myself constantly and still think about it today. If you really knew me, you would know that I never feel like I'm good enough for anybody and that I'm scared to death that I'll never marry or have a future with a loving guy. You would know that compared to my sister and brother I feel like a complete failure to my parents. I'm alone, ugly, worthless, and scared of the future..and I have no idea how to fix anything about me.

*hugs*x100
Me too hun.





If you really knew me, you'd know that I can't remember life without self harm
You'd know that the pain in my ankles isn't from twisting it, it's from the nerve damage I've done.
You'd know that those bracelets were to cover my first cut like everyone joked.
You'd know that that time I burst all those vessels in my face, it wasn't from being upside down, it was from trying too hard to make myself throw up.
You'd know that I hate myself
You'd know that I'm not good at anything
You'd know that I lie when you ask how I am. And I can do it with a straight face.
You'd know that my friends stopped caring how I'm doing.
You'd know that I am barely functioning.
You'd know how bad the anxiety is.
You'd know that I desperately want help, but I can't afford it.
You'd know I just want someone to hug me and tell me they love me.




:C I don't think you deserve to feel thhat way, noone does.. I'd give you a REAL hug, but this is as good as it gets for now *HUGS x100000000000000000*


aww, thanks
*hugs back*
The_End_is_Nigh85's avatar

Dapper Genius

If you really knew me....you would know that I still think about my ex....and would probably get back together with him if I had the chance.


Allons-y~ heart
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SHUT UP, THE DOCTOR HAS SOMTHING TO SAY!
If you really knew me... Thats a good show, I think. Now I ge to share... Yay?
If you really knew me, you'd see the mask I put on every day. I never want to be depressed, or at least show it, because I don't want to bring my friends down because I am. If you really knew me, you'd know that my mom left me and my dad for somebody in Canada for nearly two years. She came back, but I've never forgiven her. I can't find it in me. My dad has a temper, and I often think he is semi bi polar. He could be happy as hell one second, and flip out, yelling the next second. I go in my room and plug my ears, trying to ignore it. Good thing he rarely yells AT me, but the yelling itself is hurtful. If you really knew me, you'd know that my father hates my mother, and my mother hates my father. They have split custody of me, and when I go to my moms, she talks s**t on dad. When I go to my fathers, he talks s**t on mom, but he tries to tone it down because he knows how it hurts me. If you really knew me you'd know my dad is trying to get full custody of me, but I am starting to think after, what, eight years, I'm finally building some sort of relationship with my mother. My mother is addicted to pescriptio drugs that put her to sleep and make her brain work weird, and they give her tha shakes. If you really knew me you would know that I went into depression and because of it I turned down the wrong path, smoking weed and drinking alcohol, and I'm underage. Thankfully, I've been sober for over a month, and haven't smoked in three weeks. But I still want it, its an escape, I guess. I know its stupid, and it could wreck my life, but it passes the time and wipes the emotions from me temporarily. If you really knew me, you'd know that my mother hit me, but is in total denial about it. If you really knew me, you'd know that I am not actually happy and upbeat all the time on the inside. I put on a smile, while on the inside I feel like dying. Two years ago I cut myself every day for a short period of time before my friends convinced me to stop. If you really knew me, you'd know that I struggle in school and lost all hope in getting into a good college. If you really knew me, you'd know that I believe my hopes and dreams of being a writer and a photographer are dead. If you really knew me, you'd know that at 11:11 each night, I wish for the upcoming years to pass quickly, until I'm finally eighteen, so I can move away from my parents and they can continue hating each other, without me involved.

Now holy s**t that was long, but it felt sorta good to get off of my chest.
OKAY, NOW WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?
AngieTheCrazy's avatar

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sorry for the length

One I wish they had this show when I was in high school because if those kids really knew me I know they might have been kinder or at least ignored me instead of me putting on a constant shield. Ok so here we go *takes a breath*

Two finally a thread that is half way serious about this.

If you really knew me....You would know I trust no one, I've been sad for a while now, and that I do always have a constant shield up. If you really knew me at all you'd know the reasons too. If you really knew me I'm in so much pain I sleep for hours.

The reasons. Kids made fun of me and at the time I'm sure they didn't know that my mom was very ill close to death ill. I'd lock myself in the bathroom stall hoping no one would know I was in there while I cried my eyes out. Hoping my mom would live my dad was in bad shape as well he'd drink himself in a stupor and my dad gets scary when he's drunk. At one time he threatened me so bad I locked my door, My dad went back east to help my mom she was going in the hospital to get a heart and lungs Transplant. I was left in my house with my brother who at the time just wanted to be his age and have fun with his friends, often we would run out of food and I had to stay with my sister and eat dinner she made for me. I had to grow up fast and fend for myself. I was lucky to have good friends....but my friends moved away.

When I was a child I was very ill. I had epilepsy so I can't remember anything from my past but little specks. Its difficult for me to be happy when I can't remember people from my family that died. Only bits and pieces. Bad memory problems still rise up now and again causing some trouble. I don't know things a normal person should know, Like money math...Math in general. Simple things like that....I'm told I'll always be one step behind every one else....and that kills me. Because I want to be normal.

Why they made fun of me, something I did in the past, I was off my meds and I went crazy chasing kids like a dog with rabies not even joking there (yes yes, thus my username AngieTheCrazy) I have skin eczema related to my asthma and at one time it got so bad that it got infected kids at school made fun of how my skin looked and would poke fun and tease and ask several hundred times. "Can I catch that?" "Ew, don't touch her you might catch that". I thought that if I told the teachers they would help....but they never did soon the teens or kids....the teasing went on and on. Death threats and such but I stayed in school and endured it.

So if you really knew me....I am not bubbly and I am not happy I am in so much pain. I just want to sleep.

I feel great now that I got that off my chest ^_^
Flamin hot 100's avatar

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maryjanehuntstigers
sorry this is so long sweatdrop
if you really knew me youd know i dont consider myself having a family.
my dad and i dont talk yet we are bedrooms apart.
last thing he told me was that i was his maid and i had no better part in this family. he thinks i will live in a cardboard box when im older and constantly reminds me of how my 11yo sisters better, smarter, prettier, and that he doesnt plan on having anything to do with me once ive moved out.
my mom has bipolar disorder so everythings unexpected with her. shes a really angry person. and i might lose her to breast cancer. my older brother and sister hate my parents so much theyve stop talking to any of us. i guess the closest family member to me is my baby sis, who i cant even trust because she goes behind my back and tells everything i tell her to my dad and mom nd they will make fun of me even when im in the room. if you really knew me, you'd know that i went into depression 2 years ago. my brother was mugged, the man was so heartless he didnt seem satisfied with taking his money and his car, he scalped him and left him for dead. my grandma past away almost a week later. i was so angry and sad that when i was babysitting my beautiful baby cousin, Arillyssa, i just left her in the living room to watch the tv and locked myself in my room. i left the door open for light but forgot to lock the screen door and she went out and dissappeared. never found her. gone at 2yo and it was entirely my fault. everyone says its not, but thats because there just trying to be good friends to you when they know the truth too. i isolated myself, dropped out of school, quit church, stayed inside for about a year and when i was finally ready to come out, everyone left me. my bestfriends found other bestfriends. my bf had found someone else. the church acted like they didnt know me. my neighbors wouldnt even say hi anymore. it was my choice and i knew it, but since then, i knowve ive become a tougher person and to just deal with things or your just wasting your own valuable time. 3nodding


wow actually reading this i was tearing up.hope now everything is going better for you smile and i know i dont know u at all but i would'nt mind talking to you or being a friend XD
super-sluts's avatar

Desirable Fatcat


If you really knew me, you'd know that I really ******** hate you. cool
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If you really knew me, you'd know...
- that I'm really selfish sometimes... or most of the time... or... always. ><
- that I have three mothers and three fathers, and I really love them all, especially my third mother and my third father and his younger sister :3
- that I looooove Supernatural, especially the Loki who has wings like Kotex, because he is the best. ^^
- that I'm playing role-play most of my time, and I love it, it's my life. My characters are my daughters and sons, so I have a lot of children at the age of fourteen, and I love all of them, especially Ariana, who is the blonde young girl on my avi. ^^ (But... she doesn't have tail. Or silver watch. Or... plussie on her head. Just a wild cat daemon [like in the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philipp Pullman]. :3 His name is Pereus.) She is "Ariana" like Albus Dumbledore's little sister, and "Ravenwood" like Marion Ravenwood/Mary Williams in Indiana Jones.
- that I'm reading Stolen by Lesley Pearse in English, 'cause I wants to improve my English. ^^ I love this book (and I love that I understand), and I can't believe, that people like her parents really exists, because they really shouldn't. OO
- that I believe and love the quote in my signature.

(And if you really knew me, you'd know that I'm going to bilingual high school (English-Hungarian - I'm Hungarian), but my English isn't sooo good... ><" Yet.)
if you really knew me...youd know wen i look in the mirror im only lookin for flaws in my body
if you really knew me youd know when a girls calls me cute i dont beleive the shyt they tell me
if you rlly knew me i party hard and mess around
if you rlly knew me youd know i strive for physical perfection even though its an un reachable goal to have

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