If you really knew me, you would know that i have been wanting to kill myself since i was 10.
But i always think about my brothers and sisters. And i hide all the pain with a smile. None of my real life friends know this.
Do you have anything that you would like to share????
DONT TELL ME NOT TO KILL MYSELF PLEASE!!! I AM TIRED OF U GUYS SAYING THAT.
I AM NOT GONNA KILL MYSELF
edit 8-12-10 #2:
DO NOT POST THINGS LIKE "I AM SO SMEXY" Some ppl actually have REAL things they wanna tlk about. WE DONT CARE HOW CUTE U R.
IF U ARE NOT HERE TO POST SOMETHING ABOUT YOU....THEN GTFO
PLZ STOP BASHING PPL HERE THAT HAVE POSTED THINGS ABOUT THEMSELVES
if you really knew me you would know that i am not always a happy person. if you really knew me you would know that i am the life of the party. if you really knew me you would know that i can't be alone or i get sad.
if you really knew me, you would know that I'm terrified for the future.
If you really knew me, you would know I hate change and will probably never be able to let my feelings go. I'll always love that one person and I'll always hide any pain have like i've done since i was born.
You'd know I constantly struggle with what's best for me and what I want. That the fact I was sexually and verbally abused (not all by the same person) before I turned nine bothers me so much, I feel like I was cheated out of my purity. If you really knew me, you'd know for two and a half years of my life I was the most horrid person. That because of it I can't look in the mirror without being sick even though I've done a complete 360. If you really knew me you'd know I was saved by the love and mercy of Jesus Christ. =3
sorry this is so long sweatdrop
if you really knew me youd know i dont consider myself having a family.
my dad and i dont talk yet we are bedrooms apart.
last thing he told me was that i was his maid and i had no better part in this family. he thinks i will live in a cardboard box when im older and constantly reminds me of how my 11yo sisters better, smarter, prettier, and that he doesnt plan on having anything to do with me once ive moved out.
my mom has bipolar disorder so everythings unexpected with her. shes a really angry person. and i might lose her to breast cancer. my older brother and sister hate my parents so much theyve stop talking to any of us. i guess the closest family member to me is my baby sis, who i cant even trust because she goes behind my back and tells everything i tell her to my dad and mom nd they will make fun of me even when im in the room. if you really knew me, you'd know that i went into depression 2 years ago. my brother was mugged, the man was so heartless he didnt seem satisfied with taking his money and his car, he scalped him and left him for dead. my grandma past away almost a week later. i was so angry and sad that when i was babysitting my beautiful baby cousin, Arillyssa, i just left her in the living room to watch the tv and locked myself in my room. i left the door open for light but forgot to lock the screen door and she went out and dissappeared. never found her. gone at 2yo and it was entirely my fault. everyone says its not, but thats because there just trying to be good friends to you when they know the truth too. i isolated myself, dropped out of school, quit church, stayed inside for about a year and when i was finally ready to come out, everyone left me. my bestfriends found other bestfriends. my bf had found someone else. the church acted like they didnt know me. my neighbors wouldnt even say hi anymore. it was my choice and i knew it, but since then, i knowve ive become a tougher person and to just deal with things or your just wasting your own valuable time. 3nodding