Spirit

• Artist: AncientChronicles
• Description: I wrote this last year, around October. When I wrote this, i was thinking bout my friend who stopped talking to me just because he found out that I liked him. He's a dumbass anyway so let's not bother bout him. Leave comments. i've never attended any literature classes so my work may suck but i wish that i can improve so be frank! :)
• Date: 04/18/2009
• Tags: spirit sadness grieve death soul

Sadness rules my heart
From day to night
Since the day you said goodbye

Months and months ago we were happy together
I felt as if this happiness lasts forever
I believed in that till the night
You said " Sorry, but, goodbye"

You left me crying in the rain
You sped off leaving me in pain
Deeply inside I was thinking
'What's the point of me living?'

Slowly I walked towards the kitchen
I drew a knife and cut my wrist
Your words were like a sharp, sharp blade
Piercing right through my heart

That night I died unconsciously
For I was occupied with the pain you left me with
Now my soul is full of hatred
I'm still on earth though I'm dead
'Cause I died with grief that day

Now I've regretted
I should have lived on with my life
So that I can still avenge myself
Now that I'm only a mere spirit
I can do nothing but stalk you.

Comments

[xOdisx]

"That guy is such an a**,
just as dumb for letting u pass.
Hope he tumbles into the abyss
in which he enlist your heart,
where he wont be no ones reminisce."
i think is better this way ^^

[xOdisx]

"That guy is such an a** ,
just as dumb for letting u pass.
Hope he tumbles into the abyss
in which he enlist your heart ,
and where no one will reminisce him."
that just pop on my head while reading it , to tell yah the truth i like poems that rhyme , it adds a nice touch and flow , and its really fun going on rhyming quest , u find a´lot of interesting words.

[zerochan923600]

how sad. revenge is a terrible curse. well written, i like that there's a story there. some of the lines were a bit awkward, like "For I was occupied with the pain you left me with." poetry is all about word play. spend more time finding the perfect combination of sounds that will deliver your tone and meaning to the reader.