eek Blinding, horrific neon colors danced off the walls of the night club as the Unicorn Brigade stampeded through the entrance. Dancers shriveled beneath the freakish rainbow lights that the groups’ fur casted. Bunnies, kittens, ducklings and other scoundrel-like thugs flailed about, trying to get away from the Unicorn Brigade and their unnatural lust for justice.
The leader, Capt. Sparkly Face (Jr.), pranced up to the club’s manager and neighed: “DO YOU KNOW… THE MUFFIN MAN!!!” At this infamous mob boss’ name, everyone (EVERYONE) let out a surprisingly in-sync gasp. Beef, the proud cow club owner replied with an unsteady moo, “O-on a personal level… No, of course not! I don’t deal with those people!” with a quick, uncomfortable shiver, he continued, “-but I hear he’s conspiring against t-the pastry industry nowadays… If that helps an-any…”
Capt. Sparkly Face squinted his beady psychedelic-colored eyes, screaming “NO, that doesn’t help!” then dashed out of the club without another word. Quickly picking up the signal, the other horned-pony followers, er, followed.
With remarkably slow-speed, the brigade clopped over towards the local motor store. Forty minutes later (1/2 a mile later) the funky group purchased the biggest, ugliest, freakiest, most gas efficient yet stupidest looking motorcycles the store had to offer. Mounting their new toys, the stampede cruised back to base to reevaluate their mission.
question x x x question x x x question
“Mr. Brainy-Brain, what did you, er, WE learn about the Muffin Man from Beef?!” Ordered the Capt.
“-Nothing new, sir-“
“CAPTAIN, not sir!!!” glared Sparkly Face.
“Whatever… We, truthfully, I haven’t gained any new data about the Muffin Mafia within the last month. I think we need to approach this quest differently, cause’ the game plan you have set up… just isn’t working. It’s not even a logical idea, for Pete’s sake!”
“Hey, don’t talk about Pete like that!” retorted Capt. Sparkly Face.
“No worries, It doesn’t matter.” Answered a unicorn in the background (Pete).
“Oh, never mind then!” neighed the leader.
Trotting over towards Mr. Brainy-Brain, Sparkly Face Jr. spat with little intelligence “So what do you propose?!”
Scratching his noggin, Brainy-Brain thought long and hard about the MULTIPLE corrections that should be made to the Capt.’s plan. “Well, I suppose instead of bothering every business that sells or distributes muffins, we should target those who the local law enforcement KNOW are in cahoots with the Muffin Man. That would make our job a lot easier search-wise, plus it’s a little bit on the common sense-side.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah; make it happen! Ponies disperse!” roared the crazed Capt.
“-But sir, you haven’t even heard whom which groups are dealing with the Muffin Mafia, yet?” interrupted Brainy-Brain.
“Pfft! I knew that, I was just… er, testing you! You are quite bright for a zebra! Now, er, unicorns, gather around this smarter, yet inferior species and listen to him speak wisdom through this nostrils!”
“What? Nevermind… Let me just hack into the Police Departments files, and we’ll have just the right amount of information to begin a decent new start on our objective.”
- Title: Boredom+Time+Wacked out Mind=?
- Artist: KaCheezy the Therapist
The Unicorn Brigade is up to something...
Thanks to my sad case of boredom+ excess time+ and of course, my funky imagination, I have produced a non-entertaining tale that will surely haunt your dreams with rainbow justice and cuddly yet goonish critters...
- Date: 06/24/2011
- Tags: weird crazy unicorns muffinman random