• Another sleepless night

    Not the same as past time

    Not the simple turn of eventless day's thorn by reasonable worries

    But a painful reminder of a life time parallel to reality

    Why did you have to disturb my peace?

    So hard it had been so long it had taken yet I was conformed

    But like stabbing knife full of emotions the little that is left of my heart is unscathed

    Your velvet voice rumbles in my head, every word written is played in my memory

    Why would you do this, is it not enough that a single choice has crumbled a desire to live

    My body twitches in unbalanced movements trying to control myself from reaching out

    Attempting to comfort the unbinding anger that burns through my veins

    Even knowing what I must do to survive your actions is like a mockery to my miserable life

    Wondrous thought of unconsumed raged flare up into my eyes

    Inconsequent decisions, creating deceptive thought

    In a word where so many fall what would a singes boy life differ

    But my anger is misplaced and that I know

    It was a boy that ripped my being

    It was the girl that had been so many times in nightmares or dreams

    Someone I could not picture in my mind as her physical appearance no longer mattered

    It was thought a reason lacking feeling

    A compulsive paginate desire

    Filled with love, and lust... stained by anger and pinion...

    The future is already broken and cannot be restored in the reality I lived

    No touch will ever compare, no voice will ever conform yet reality is unbalanced

    My lustful desires, poisoned by self-destructive anger

    Made what was one the protective knight ... into the reluctant beast

    If the one image, the one thought, the one feeling cannot conform my heart

    Than let all that is wrong and despicable take over my undeserving mind

    Angels and demons that surround my world in constant battle that unfolds

    Where has the light gone from the impeccable dreams?

    When only darkness surrounds my thoughts

    There are no touch feelings, or soothing touch, or butterfly hiccups

    Instead my actions bring heard pounding rush of ardency in evil contempt

    Life is no longer the desire to build a peaceful and fruitful future

    It's rather a game of master and its puppet

    Do you not understand that innocence was lost not when my lips touched thy skin?

    But rather when your thoughts wandered though lustful hands

    Can't you see that the image that gave me reason no longer existed?

    But was replaced by a painful reminder of what has been lost

    Condemned by broken promises and unwilling words

    This night is senseless.... senseless as the silence that surrounds me

    Thoroughly senseless when I'm reminded of the moon that shouted through my window in protection

    Senseless as I'm reminded of the midnight eyes that watched me in my sleep

    And senseless, when I'm reminded of the purity of a child that laid under my forever protective arms

    Why do I move on when I know that tomorrow will be just as lonely as today

    How can I bear knowing that a lifetime is wasted with the painful wish to transcend time?

    I know what u feel... in a tangible kiss... in a caressing hand, and the sweet sound of a word whispered in your ear

    I know that feeling all too well... yet when eyes are met the nothingness strikes my world

    Irreplaceable, yet unwanted, unforgettable, yet unforgiving, unwanted yet with a desire imprinted in the deepest parts of my soul

    Why has u come back to haunt me, to hunt me in this sleepiness night....