One time, Raccoon was hungry and wanted something sweet. Raccoon didn't exactly have "perfect" morals or a high amount of intelligence for that matter, so he decided to steal a lemon from old farmer Giant Screaming Lemon's lemon farm and australian animal ranch. Raccoon was was walking on his hind legs down the street,(this is one of those things animals can only do in folk tales) when he suddenly stubbed his toe in an evil pothole. He screamed at the top of his lungs a word he had heard on TV that morning, and was on his way. He kept walking, and nothing eventful happened for about fifty seconds, unless you count the bear having a heart attack, the six cougar attacks and that thing with the U.N..
Raccoon was finally recovering from the tetanus when a pack of wolves who could read minds and were delivering sugar confronted him. "We know what you are doing, and we are constantly bribed by old farmer Giant Screaming Lemon, so we must stop you!" they said. Raccoon then said, "Oh yeah? Well wake up and...and...uhhhh... TASTE THE RAINBOW!" and then Raccoon fired his Magical Multicolored Superheated Eyebeams( only $59.99 if you order in the next twenty seconds!) and vaporized the wolves. For some incomprehensible sci-fi-ish reason, the wolves sugar remained, so Raccoon stole it and proclaimed "I'm gonna sell this on Ebay!"(Raccoon often made references to The Internet, but this was in the olden days before they even invented sliced bread, and animals were like magic or something, so everyone just thought raccoon was nuts, not a medium.).
Raccoon was nearing old farmer Giant Screaming Lemon's lemon farm and australian animal ranch, and was pretty sure that there were no more filler-esque diversions in store for him(big surprise: he's wrong. Want proof? LOOK AT THIS SENTENCE!). Raccoon came upon a traveling cat selling ice, so Raccoon tried to engage it in conversation. "Hello" Raccoon said. The cat quickly and firmly replied "Meow". "Oooookaaaay..." said Raccoon. The cats eyes did something strange then, they seemed to glow red. Raccoon was entranced, when suddenly the cat screamed "Meow.", then fell asleep. Raccon thought it as odd, but he started getting bored staring at the collapsed cat, so he stole its ice and threw it into the sky. This created all bad weather and cloud formations that take the shape of the stuff you hate.
The lemon farm and australian animal ranch was in sight, and Raccoon was really, really, really bored. He was sitting in the bushes in front of the farm waiting for ol' farmer Giant Screaming Lemon to retire for the night, when a car that was spinning and swerving due to a frozen-rain slicked road hit Raccoon. He went flying right over the gate, past the fields, right through the farmers skin. Old farmer Giant Screaming lemon started screaming, "The tomato's are back, and they're wantin to be fruits again! We told 'em that they're just not fruits and that were not discriminatin' against their taste! I'm not a taste-ist!". Old farmer Giant Screaming Lemon fell to the ground, and Raccoon pulled himself out of him. He stood up and said, "Man, that was sour!". Just then, a gust of wind blew open Raccoons bag, and the wolves sugar flew out. Raccoon got it full blast in the face and screamed "AUUURGH!", but then said "Wait... that cancels out the sour of the lemon, but... it's still missing something" Then, a hailstone fell in Raccoons mouth and he shouted, "Perfect!". Raccoon wen on to found a company selling his "Mega Lemon type good drink yes!", but it was bought out by Lemon Time.
- Title: Lemonade
- Artist: Parafu
- Description: Wrote it waaaaaay back in 6th grade for a school project. It was kind of funny when I read it agan, so I'll enter it.
- Date: 09/04/2010
- Tags: lemonade