• It was the first day of the rest of my life and i watched it through unfocused gray eyes. The colors and lights spurted, random, reds and blues and blacks and the occasional silver. I remember that day so clearly. The stench--the stench was unbearable. It made my eyes water, my nose filled with it. I thought I would suffocate from that stench, but fear, anger, and hate filled me. I was too full to pass out then. But quiet descended and the smell--so strong, such a stench--and darkness.



    So there a girl stood in the darkened arch of a home, an unfortunate tourist's trench coat wrapped tightly about her. Underneath she was wearing only a white shirt and pair of khaki slacks. She was a small, pretty thing, her blond hair falling down her shoulders in tangles. A blush crept over her cheeks and she held out a steady hand toward the man who stood before her. He was blubbering something about how he was having a tough time with his divorce and how he couldn't pay.

    "I gave you what you wanted, Charlie. Now pay up," she said harshly. Her silver eyes were flickering across his face and he continued blubbering about his pregnant wife and how she had found out about his affair. One could hardly call a prostitute a secretive lover.

    The wind picked up and blew the first of the frost down the street, little cyclones of white dust shimmering in the dawn light.Charlie wrapped his bathrobe around him tighter and finally gave in, dealing out a few bills to the girl. With a grumble, he tucked away inside and the girl pocketed the money, her gray eyes turning to lead her away. Winter was coming soon and the streets of London were brutal on such homeless women. She would have to return to the one place she felt most at home--Frederic's.

    But now, now she was wandering along the road, waiting for a passerby to pick her up and escort her away. The only sour note was that she was only fifteen and already had given up on her life.

    I knew this, because that girl was me, years and years ago, a child who had given up everything after the death of my brother. It's too upsetting... please leave me.