• Just because.


    I have a friend. His name is Kevin. People say he died, but he didn't.
    I know he didn't. He's right here, after all, reading over my shoulder. And I know he loves me.

    Kevin and I have been friends for about four years. I remember how we met, in a park near my house. I was swinging by myself, and he came over and started talking to me.
    I asked why he was talking to me (I'm kind of weird), and he said, "Just because."

    The next day he was there again, and for the next day, and so on for the next week. Within a few months we were the best of friends, almost inseparable.

    We still are the best of friends.

    On the third anniversary of our friendship, a year ago today, he asked me out. I was over the moon, I was so happy; so of course I accepted, and he took me to a fancy restaurant.

    "Why go through all the trouble?" I asked him.
    "Just because," he said.


    He got me a promise ring two weeks ago. It's not brand-new, and my mom says it's something I've always had, that he didn't give it to me, but I know he did. It's pretty, silver with a blue crystal in it. I can’t wait until I’m twenty and I can marry him (Mother always insisted on twenty); only two more years to go!

    Kevin always loved me. He told me every day, every time he saw me. I could tell he was telling the truth, his eyes-- blue, I think; but are they green? Why can’t I remember? -- sparkled every time he told me. I never told him that I loved him back, not until a week ago. I wanted to be sure that I did love him, really and truly. Because if I wasn’t sure that I loved him, then I might break up with him. If you love someone, you’re together forever, right?

    Kevin and I kissed for the first time a month after he asked me to the school dance, our first official date. His lips tasted like honey. They don’t anymore… now they don’t taste like anything anymore. Maybe I’ve been kissing him so much that he tastes like me. I can’t taste myself, so… maybe that’s it. Of course it is.

    Mom and Dad keep saying things like “Kevin died a month ago, sweetheart, please don’t do this to yourself”. But I don’t know why; I think they’re playing a joke on me, because every time they do Kevin’s right beside me, and puts his arm around me.
    “No he didn’t,” I’ll say. “He’s right here, can’t you see him?” But of course they never seem to. Maybe… maybe he really isn’t here. But he has to be, he promised he’d always be here for me. And Kevin never breaks his promises.

    Kevin’s taking me to the beach today. I’m wearing my blue sundress, and my bathing suit under it. Kevin promised me he’d drive, so I’m in my dad’s truck, waiting.
    But he’s not doing anything. He’s just sitting there.

    I remember walking in on him while he was in the bathroom, once. He was sitting there with blood running down his arms.
    “Why!?” I cried, crying, and he got up like he was really sleepy and hugged me tight.
    “Just because,” He answered. Just like always.
    But now I can’t remember if he went to sleep, or if he came to the doctor’s and then took me out… I can’t remember, why can’t I remember?
    But why does it matter… He’s right here beside me. That’s all that matters.

    I reach over to tap him on the shoulder. “Honey, what’s wrong? Why aren’t we leaving?”
    And he doesn’t answer right away, but he looks over at me and smiles sadly.
    “Just because,” He says.
    I hear my parents calling my name and running over to the truck, so I turn to look and wave, smiling widely. They came to see me off before I go to the beach. They finally stopped playing that silly little game of theirs!

    I look over at Kevin, about to point out Mom and Dad.
    He’s not there anymore.

    And I can’t stop crying, because his favorite baseball cap is the only other thing in the truck.

    Because Kevin had broken his promise after all.