• Emotions are just a useless luxury.

    When you are something that has been born to serve orders and nothing more, emotions only get in the way.

    The Arancaar, the Espada, are just tools in our Lord Aizen’s plan.

    Will we be thrown away, destroyed, after he has reached his goal?

    I am not sure.

    But when that day comes, we must accept our fate, not be afraid to leave this place for the rest of eternity.
    We Arancaar must be prepared for everything.


    This is where pointless emotions get in the way.

    Once you can experience something as overpowering as emotion, you might lose your will to serve, to fight, to die.

    To us, emotions are just curses.

    Anger, hate, rage…happiness, joy, bliss…desire, jealousy, lust…

    And…love…

    Are all just pointless objects we need not to indulge in.

    …But there are times…

    Times when one can’t help himself, when the urge to succumb to curses so deadly will overpower a man’s soul, and make him want.

    The curse of love, of which no antidote can cure…

    Is it worse to fall for another man?


    This is what I have been pondering throughout this dark, eventless day.


    There is no one I can confront, question, because I am sure none of my fellow Arancaar have felt this strange fluttery sensation in their stomachs.


    Never have they felt the heat rush to their faces whenever a certain someone speaks to them.


    Never have they felt the strange, intense urge to place their lips on that someone(which I have heard is a way of expressing ‘love’ for someone) whenever he glances and smiles at them from beneath a plate of teeth obscuring his cheek.

    All of these things make me think even harder…have they ever been through this oddity?


    Has Szayel ever wanted to hold someone so close to his own body, that they felt like they were one?

    Has Nnoitora ever wanted someone to say ‘I love you’ to him?

    Has--has Grimmjow ever felt a strange stiffness in between his legs whenever someone he secretly cared for was lying around with his (magnificently chiseled…) chest showing?

    No…how could they?

    We are bred for domination, not emotion.

    Then why-

    Ulquiorra was shocked out of this thoughts with a sharp jab in his stomach.

    “Unph! What-?”

    Gin Ichimaru stood, towering above his lying form. His casual, ever present grin wide on his face.

    “Sorry, did I wake you?” He grinned wider.

    “Ichimaru-sama…? What are you doing here?”

    “Aizen wanted me to tell ya to go on up and check on Grimmjow. Y’know, he hasn’t let anyone in his room all day. Not even me!”

    Ulquiorra sat up, still unaware that he had fallen asleep.

    “And how do you expect me to get in if no one else can, Ichimaru?”

    Gin shrugged. “Aizen just told me to make ya do it.”

    He walked out without another word.

    Ulquiorra sighed and got up.


    Grimmjow’s chambers weren’t far. He could at least force himself into the Espada’s room to make Aizen happy, then be on his merry way.



    He wound his way to the large door with a simple black 6 printed on it.

    The entire hallway was quiet; there wasn’t even a sound coming fro the 6th Espada’s room.

    Ulquiorra tried the knob; It wasn’t locked.

    “What…?” How come no one could get in?

    He slid the door open and peered into the dark room.

    “Oh…-”

    Grimmjow was asleep on the sofa placed in the middle of his living chamber, snoring ever so softly.

    Ulquiorra closed the door and crept up to the sleeping Espada.


    “He looks so different,” He whispered as he examined the man’s face.

    “Peaceful…” Ulquiorra reached his hand out, fingertips lightly settling on Grimmjow’s unmasked cheek,

    Black fingernails lightly traced his jaw line, coming back up and resting like a feather on his lips.


    Ulquiorra shot his hand back suddenly as Grimmjow shifted in his sleep, nuzzling the pillow his bony jaw mask,

    He mumbled something in his slumber, something Ulquiorra barely caught; but it made his eyes widen all the same.

    “…-iorra…”

    Ulquiorra blinked, wishing he knew what was happening inside of Grimmjow’s mind.


    But he just sighed. “Grimmjow…”

    As is if responding to his name, Grimmjow shifted again, his eyelids now directed at the ceiling.



    Ulquiorra stiffened slightly, resisting the urge to touch the sleeping man’s lips again; At that same time, the urge to lean in and rest his own lips on Grimmjow’s was pouring over the sides. He fought to maintain himself feverishly.

    He won the battle, his hands diving deep into his pockets-

    But he felt some new part of him take control; it shut Ulquiorra’s eyelids over dazzling cyan orbs, leaned down, and pressed his lips lightly onto the sleeping Espada’s…



    Grimmjow’s eyes shot open at the touch of something on his lips; they widened when they saw a figure loom over him, and identified the things pressing on his lips as someone else’s.


    Though it was dark enough that his eyes couldn’t register who was above him, he felt that he could tell just by the feeling of the strangers lips..


    They felt inexperienced and soft, kind and naïve.
    The kiss was tender, ungraceful, but held no hint of hesitation; only want.

    One person registered in his mind…only one.

    Ulquiorra…??


    Grimmjow didn’t want to kiss this figure back to seriously, in case if wasn’t him…

    But the lips felt so innocent, he felt like it has to be Ulquiorra…

    Grimmjow kissed Ulquiorra ever so slightly, as if it was in some sort of dream, an accident, unintentional…

    Ulquiorra released Grimmjow immediately after, his black lips lingering above Grimmjow’s for a few seconds, gathering the last of Grimmjow’s breath he was allowed to have before leaning towards his ear.

    “I’m sorry, Grimmjow,” Was all he could say before heading towards the door.

    The door creaked open, Ulquiorra lingering in the doorway for a few seconds before closing it with a small click.


    Grimmjow shot upright, his head spinning slightly, the sudden movement sending a small jolt of pain through his chest injury.

    He stared at the spot Ulquiorra stood moments before, a frown on his face.

    “…S-sorry…?” He repeated, confused by Ulquiorra’s parting words.

    “…Why?”


    ~END~


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