About
*rolls for initiative*I am a wanderer trying to get my taste of the salty air before life swallows us up and shits us into oblivion. A mistress of moral question with a taste for sweets and swords. A sailor who's gallant galleon journeys for hundreds of miles over the endless fathoms of all this p***y I'm drowning in.
Former druid (don't ask) and current top breeder and tamer and you will hear about that at least once every hour. I'm all business. Money is friendship and friendship is magic (allegedly). All cannibal charged were DROPPED. Tender lover. Fond traveler and sometimes just ******** off for 30 years. Recently coping from some form of lycanthropy from sharing needles with a gnoll. Crazy fond of griffins. There are more griffins on my ranch than there are girls on gaia who "magically have a p***s."
You want s**t? You come to me. I'm more resourceful than your average "guy who RP's a demigod" with twice the loopholes of "no my character can do that because they're a mage." Only rolls 20's, but they're probably not natural. Really regretting that degree in history of enchantments. I make disgusting, humiliating love to the fourth wall. My only God-Mode is my insurmountable charm and good looks. All my gear is specced with the highest Charisma stat boosts. I could suck a golfball through a garden hose using nothing but the wink of my eye. I have a fairy paintbrush. My weakness is foot rubs and tobacco. Likes long walks on the beach.
Sorry, hq demands I throw in at least one commercial per personal ad.
Looking for EXPERT beast handlers, tamers, and breeders? Best griffins this side of the grand severed mountains AT:
BARASHNI'S POST: EXOTIC MOUNTS, PETS, AND FROZEN YOGURT!
Our NON-COMMISSION WARLOCKS won't rest until YOU get YOUR griffin or other exotic or otherwise magical pet or mount!!!! Cockatrice, barking leocratta, brontothere, sabre-fanged featherwyvern and camahueto galore! Only at Barashni's Post located in several easy locations! Just look for the cracked jasper obelisks that say UNCLE BARASHNI and YOU will be ON YOUR WAY to getting YOUR DREAM QIRIN OR OTHER MYTHOLOGICAL OR OTHERWISE MAGICAL BEAST, PET, OR STEED.
Low on funds? Bad credit?? NO CREDIT?! No problem! Barashni's post offers a unique Arrearment Inking Debt System(tm) !!! It's so easy! One of our NON-COMMISSION WARLOCKS WILL be ready to transfer a magical credential ink that gives a harmless burning sensation whenever credit is due! And paying has never been simpler! Gold sovereigns! Uncursed Gemstones! Precious Heirlooms! Shekels! Jade! Rupees! We take it all!
Be sure to ask one of our NON-COMMISSION WARLOCKS about our Bag of Jaunting (tm)!! Barashni's Post's unique Bag of Jaunting (tm) is the ONLY magical pay service that will accept payments from no matter WHERE you are in any dimension! And the best part of the Bag of Jaunting (tm)? The Bag of Jaunting (tm) comes with it's own summoning whistle! Just blow the Bag of Jaunting (tm) Summoning Whistle (tm) and the Bag of Jaunting (tm) will COME TO YOU! Then insert YOUR preferred method of payment INTO the Bag of Jaunting (tm) and WATCH as your Arrearment Inking Debtor's Symbol (tm) vanishes like MAGIC (tm)!!
Have kids?? Buy them some of our Uncle Barashni's Best Frozen Yogurt(tm) best frozen yogurt past the grand severed mountain(r)!
That's Barashni's Post! Just look for the cracked jasper obelisk that says- UNCLE BARASHNI! Our NON-COMMISSION WARLOCKS are waiting for you! Hundreds of traveling merchants! Just look for the caravan that says UNCLE BARASHNI!!
Regular and sale prices, offers and selection at Barashni's Traveling Caravans may vary from those of Barashni Posts and the Barashni Local Ad.
Prices and offers are subject to change. Pricing Policies
©1355-Forever, Uncle Barashni's Trading Post & Frozen Yogurt, Inc. All rights reserved. Barashni's "Arrearment Inking Debt System" and "Arrearment Inking Debtor's Symbol" are trademarks of Uncle Barashni's Trading Post & Frozen Yogurt, Inc.
Uncle Barashni's Trading Post & Frozen Yogurt, Inc will not accept cursed gems, jewelry, or other forms of payment as valid currency. Attempting to pay for goods or services with invalidated currency or methods may result in a fine or ban from all Uncle Barashni's Trading Posts and Caravans. All debtors attempting fraudulent payments or avoiding payment through neglect, dispelling, or any attempts otherwise are subject to a permanent ban and punishment deemed appropriate by Uncle Barashni or the Uncle Barashni's Trading Post & Frozen Yogurt, Inc head office including but not limited to public flaying, dismemberment, or execution based on the value of stolen or lost merchandise.
Neither Uncle Barashni nor associates of Uncle Barashni's Trading Post & Frozen Yogurt, Inc are held responsible for damage to property or health resulting in sickness, injury, or death due to purchased beasts.
Dragon and Dragonkin taxes apply at all participating Barashni's Posts. In such countries where Dragon and Dragonkin slavery laws are effective Barashni's post will not offer compensation or allow returns on defective or unwanted Dragons and/or Dragonkin purchased at a Barashni's Post where such laws are not applicable.
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Absolutely amazing.