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 Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 3:01 pm
Adhara's Journal
I'm a horrible mother.
___And I mean that in all possible ways. My daughter has recently grown to preteen. For some stupid reason I was led to believe that she wouldn't engage in the same habits that had interrupted my life at that time, and yet here I am, wrong again. I decided not to talk to her about sex and about promiscuity and about any of those other things. No, instead my baby girl has slept with two, if not three different people by this point in time. I have no idea how many of them she's leading on, or in a relationship with. Fitzroy is the only one I know for sure is with her for longer than the night. He's a sweet boy, but even so... she's still my baby. I don't want what happened to me to happen to her.
___But I can't bring myself to talk to her about it. I've tried, more than once, but... it's... it's too strange. She's still so sweet and innocent and naive that I feel like I'd be popping her little bubble world, destroying what happy things she actually has in life if I tell her all of the terrible things that can happen as a result of her carelessness.
___Not that I'm one to talk...
___I can't do anything with 'Zuba for a period of time now. Sexually, I mean. I was, as said, careless. One of my last customers decided that he didn't want to use any kind of protection. I haven't been walking the streets since then, which was... last week, I think. I can't remember... I just know that I charged him double for that and that extra money's the only reason that I haven't had to do anything else for a while. I am looking for a job, though. I'm trying so, so hard to find a job that isn't... that isn't this.
___I'm tired of turning tricks. It's... I mean, it makes so much money that I barely have to do a thing to get enough money to keep my family happy and fed for almost a week just off one customer. I got so sucked into it, but... it's just... it's so stupid. It's not worth all the disgust and the way it's been hacking away at my self-worth day after day.
___And it's definitely not worth sneaking around behind 'Zuba's back for. I never wanted to sneak around her like that. I mean, I would have kept my job at the library, but I got fired because of that stupid kid. And I would have tried harder to find a job, but by the time I actually resorted to this we were out of money and I was having to take Noah's. The only jobs I could get were minimum wage and between me, Adelle, 'Zu, and Bonbon, not to mention Fitzroy, who practically lives here, too, I cold barely afford to keep the roof over our heads!!
___Oh, 'Zu... I love you so much, I really do. I just... I couldn't help it. I wanted all the money in the world to get you whatever you could possibly want.
___But what am I even saying? It's still wrong. I'd better get back to my job hunting... before no one's hiring anymore with the summer and all of the kids working part-time... Hah...
-Adhara By'arre
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:23 pm
Azubahiel stood at the sink, having an inner debate as she scrubbed the dishes clean. Was now really a good time to bring it up? Well, was there any better time? The split spawn thought it over long and hard, giving herself until she was done with her current chore to have a decision. True, money had become a bit tight since she'd moved away from home, but they were managing quite well. Adelle was growing like a weed, and it was only a matter of time before BonBon grew. So....now was as good of a time as any. Her mind was made up as she put the dishes away up int the cabinet. She smiled, wiping her hands dry on her pants before heading out of the kitchen. It was now or never. "Adhi?" she asked, looking her sweetheart. "Um...I've got something I need to talk to you about." Oh, could she have been more awkward? Well, she was doing the best she could! This was going to be a bit of an awkward discussion, after all. She fiddled with her, a nervous habit, as she waited.
Adhara was at the station she'd been inhabiting for the past few days, sitting at the table in the living room and pouring over the classified ads in the newspaper, trying desperately to find any kind of job that she might qualify for, trying to avoid turning to the 'casual encounters' section as her fingers itched to do. She couldn't help the craving - it was such easy money after all, and they were already running low. Reena and Niita, who'd been boredly tugging at the edges of the couch, perked up at the sound of 'Zu's voice, making grabby hands when the young woman stepped out of the kitchen. Adhara's attention followed and she pulled the pencil out of her mouth with a smile, patting the seat next to her on the couch. "Oh? And what's that, love?" she asked calmly, a tiny part of her panicking that somehow 'Zuba had found out about her job. Nah, but that couldn't be it. Right?
'Zuba smiled, walking over to take a seat next Adhara. "Well..." Oh, this was harder than she'd imagined. But...this was Adhi. Zu didn't need to worry about her getting mad, right? "I was wanting to talk to you about....small infants and the having of them." She wanted to facepalm at the sentence; why couldn't she just come out and say she wanted a baby? Her cheeks were tinted rose with embarrassment. "I was thinking....now is as good as time as any, and I'll be getting a job at my mother's workplace and.....what do you think?" Golden green eyes looked at the lust spawn, waiting for her answer. She knew she probably sounded stupid, but....she wanted a baby. Maybe it was her envy kicking in, or maybe it was just nature giving her the green light, but either way: She wanted a baby.
Reena and Niita wasted no time in immediately wrapping around 'Zuba as best as they could, using their extraordinary strength to pull the girl even closer, making Adhara laugh a bit and chide them quietly, letting her arms wrap loosely around 'Zuba's waist as she leaned her head against the taller female's shoulder. A grin came to Adhara's face at the way that 'Zu had first tried to explain herself, but she made sure to hide it a bit, not wanting to look like she was laughing at the other. However, when the idea was restated and was definitely a serious idea, Adhara sat up a bit straighter, her wings fluttering softly. A pointed fang gnawed gently at her lower lip in thought as she watched the split spawn for a moment, before she gave that motherly smile she'd been using on Adelle for quite a while.
"Hmm... well, you do have a point. We'll both be working soon and if Adelle isn't moving out, chances are that she'll be getting her own job soon as well..." she mused thoughtfully, leaning against the envy spawn once again. Between the lot of them, as long as Adelle knew to stay safe [she would tell her soon, really!], they should be able to take care of another child without too much problem, right? "I suppose there's no reason why not. Are you completely sure, though? Babies... well, it takes a lot out of you while your pregnant, not to mention since we're part demon it all happens way too fast and hurts even worse. Not to try to talk you out of it, just to make sure that you're ready for it if you're sure. I promise I'll be there every step of the way regardless, though."
Zuba hugged Adhi, quite used to being yanked over by the tentacles by now. She let her arms rest in a loose embrace around the lust spawn, smiling lightly. "I am completely sure." she said, nodding once. "I have been thinking it over for a while, and I've been weighing the pros and cons. I think I can handle it." Well, she hoped she could handle it. She wasn't quite sure, but... "I'm ready."
Adhara could only smile even more at the confidence and assuredness that 'Zuba said this with, excited with the fact that her girlfriend was coming out of her shell and blossoming so wonderfully. "Alright," Adhara said simply, tugging 'Zu close to steal a kiss, Reena and Niita squeezing her in excite. "And I'll hold your hand through anything you're not ready for," she assured her 'Zuba, sighing happily and cuddling against the younger girl. Well, this would certainly be exciting, wouldn't it?
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:25 pm
Adhara certainly had taken her precious time to bother getting to the clinic. She had put it off... for a ton of different reasons, but the base reason was fear. Fear of the fact that she was going to have positive results, and by this point she was positive.
The entire process felt like it was taking hours. She sat in the waiting room for years, amber eyes taking in every detail of every person sitting around her. It seemed like every single one of them was helped before she was. 'Course, that couldn't be true. Then again... most of them were there before she was, right? So it could make sense. Maybe.
Pointed ears twitched at every annoying sound produced by the dozens of people sitting around her. Sniffles, coughs, throat clearing, babies crying, toddlers whining. Enough to drive her insane, especially added to the fact that the diligence spawn was, for once, being forced to sit still, fill out forms, and sit still even more. It was slowly driving her completely and totally insane.
Then the room. Answer questions. It all went by in the blink of an eye. Take off her clothes, put on the gown. Then, more waiting. It was even more insufferable. There was nothing to preoccupy herself with. She moved around the entire room, reading everything that there was to read, listening to the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.
Then the doctor finally, finally came in. Questions again. Stirrups. More questions. Poking and prodding of the most uncomfortable variety. Deep breaths. Answer the questions.
Once again, it came time to get dressed and wait for what felt like forever and a day.
When the results were given... Adhara was deaf to everything after that. Herpes. Chlamydia. Drugs, she could take those, it would get rid of one of them. The other... the other would never leave. She would have to watch for outbreaks all the time, have to protect her lover from it every time they were together, would have to keep from doing anything during an outbreak...
Adhara couldn't feel her legs as she walked out of the office...
She couldn't hear anything as she did what she could to act normally when she arrived home...
And when she sat down on the bed that evening...
...she burst into tears.
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Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 5:54 pm
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 2:19 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 2:21 pm
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 2:23 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:42 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:44 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 8:32 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 8:32 pm
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