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Marushii

Enduring Loiterer

12,925 Points
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 5:11 am


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Alexander Neal Rivera, Lieutenant Ajoite
Reason for Revision: HI AGAIN changed a virtue and his flaws. Updating the character to his "new" personality now that he's a member of the Negaverse~
Link to Old Profile: ITS SO OLDDDD
Link to Revised Profile: Revision


APPROVED
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 1:56 pm


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Bebe Aimée Durand
Reason for Revision: removed her morbidity, as i find i don't play it up in roleplay. combining uninterested and fair weather friend, since they're essentially the same thing, and replaced the empty spots with vicious and malicious, two traits that come up much more often in roleplay.
replaced her jump rope hobby with fitness, to expand on it a little. added acting, as it is actually a major part of her, as shown in pretty much every roleplay. took out taxidermy because i don't think i've mentioned it, even once.
Link to Old Profile: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=21486961
Link to Revised Profile: ]http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=22141853


APPROVED

amicableAggressor

Versatile Vermin


The Red Dame

Friendly Lunatic

9,550 Points
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 5:49 pm


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Nyasa Freeman
Reason for Revision: Updating
Link to Old Profile: Here
Link to Revised Profile: Here

Hopefully third time's the charm. xD
PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 11:29 am


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Maris Trent / Sailor Adhafera
Reason for Revision: I started playing her in earnest and realized she was nothing like her old profile... derp. So, updating personality? I also changed her Eternal attack to suit her style better.
Link to Old Profile: Original
Link to Revised Profile: Revision

Sosiqui

Enduring Muse


revenant aria

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 8:27 pm


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: General Serandite/ Serah Eos
Reason for Revision: UPDATING FROM TWO YEARS AGO TO CURRENT ONE biggrin
Link to Old Profile: Old one!
Link to Revised Profile: Revision

critiqued
PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 1:05 pm


Quote:
MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Lieutenant Howlite / Kess Reever
Reason for Revision: Wanted to further define her weapon progression, to fit her combat style and personality more. Also cause I knew what I wanted for Lieutenant, and General, but the Captain one really sucked and I hated it. That is all.

Quote:

Captain: A package that's clearly been rigged to do something naughty. The result would be the package opening, and a bright, stunning flash of light when tossed. Perhaps attached to some kind of zip-line hooked to her glove that would snap it back when done. [Kind of like the way you reel in one of those leashes]
General: Howlite's now got a legit bomb made of some type of metal, it's shaped more like a pokeball than a traditional flash-bang, however, and when tossed, opens itself up with a extremely loud, disorienting bang, as well as a brighter flash of light. When complete, it closes itself and returns to her glove.

to
Quote:


Captain: Glowing 'negametal' bombs, that appear to look somewhat like metal envelopes [to follow the mail theme! letterbombs!]. When activated, they emit an blinding flash. Upon completion, they are recalled to Howlite's belt.

Effect: An instantaneous duration of 10 seconds of "blindness" [think extremely bright light, like turning on a light suddenly in a dark room, only... times a lot]. After the duration, it fades, according to each character's proximity, power level, etc <--- Up to player of character

General: Hooked to her grenadier belt are small bombs made of a sort of glowing, 'Negametal', slightly smaller than one's fist and shaped somewhat like innocuous pokeballs. When activated, they open to emit a blinding flash and stunning, concussive sound. Upon completion, they are recalled to Howlite's belt.

Effect: Instantaneous, duration of 10 seconds of deafening and blindness [Think seeing nothing but white, and hearing a loud ringing 'EEEEEE' sound for the next few seconds]. After 10 seconds, the effects fade, and sound and sight return at differing rates depending on the individual [power level, proximity, etc]. <--- Up to player, not me.

Friendly fire definitely possible!


APPROVED

Indubitably

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zippedsiren

Dapper Spirit

PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:42 pm


Quote:
MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Sailor Chibi Ixion
Reason for Revision: Changing Eternal Power to be more interesting/ work better with the kind of character he is. I figured that a more strategic/offensive power fits him better then a fueling power.

from:
Quote:


Eternal Sailor Attack: Stoking Coals

Ixion creates a small, glowing circle of coals and shoot it towards his target (ideally a senshi). The coals magically create a large circle around the feet of the target. For 30 seconds, the coals are extremely hot and burning up. The area around these coals (1 m) will feel quite hot. During those 30 seconds the senshi inside of the ring is essentially getting refueled. If they stay within the circle for the full 30 seconds, they regain one use of their own attack/skill. It can be difficult for some to stay the full time, it is pretty warm there. If they do not stay within the circle for the full time, there is no effect, only the annoying heat. The refueling effect works only on those with magical abilities (including corrupted senshi). Chibi Ixion can use this power twice, but it highly recommended to use only once. Using it twice will cause him to collapse, once will make him fairly tired.
*After the coals burn up there is a ring of black soot and char left over.
*Ixion himself doesn't feel the heat to the same degree as others.
*Can power up any attack less than the eternal stage, once per person (per battle).


to:
Quote:

Eternal Sailor Attack: Coal Bed Inferno

Ixion calls out his power and pounds the ground with his fist. In front of where he hits, a roughly 5m x 5m bed of hot coals rise up (like dominoes, coals closest to him appear first and spread out from there over a short (5seconds?) period of time giving people a quick opportunity to get out of the way). The coals are fairly hot, and give off an uncomfortable blast of heat. Low level enemies/ally can't traverse the bed safely, higher levels would have an easier time risking it (or probably even jumping the distance). Effectively it puts a 'threatening' distance between himself and an enemy.

* The coals are hot enough that some could uncomfortably walk across/through it, but you probably wouldn't want to. (A youma could not)
*Ixion doesn't feel the heat to the same degree as others and can cross the bed safely.
*Coals only appear in a 'clear' path. So in a flat field, the coals would be a 5mx 5m distance, if he was in an alley sandwiched between two buildings the coal would only fill what space there was.
* Coals burn for one minute.
*Things in the area of effect will get singed/ a little charred, but not ruined.
*Can only be used once.



APPROVED
PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 12:16 pm


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Bebe Aimée Durand
Reason for Revision: removed her morbidity, as i find i don't play it up in roleplay. combining uninterested and fair weather friend, since they're essentially the same thing, and replaced the empty spots with vicious and malicious, two traits that come up much more often in roleplay.
replaced her jump rope hobby with fitness, to expand on it a little. added acting, as it is actually a major part of her, as shown in pretty much every roleplay. took out taxidermy because i don't think i've mentioned it, even once.
Link to Old Profile: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=21486961
Link to Revised Profile: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=22141853


-repost, edited things re critique, and changed other stuff completely-

amicableAggressor

Versatile Vermin


Sunshine Alouette

Eternal Senshi

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:14 pm


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Paris LeFay
Reason for Revision: He’s grown in a year and needs a new profile to reflect that. I also wanted to try coming up with a new attack for his Eternal form since he’ll be posted for upgrade soon. It can be found in the second post of his revision.
Link to Old Profile: [x]
Link to Revised Profile: [x]

APPROVED
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 10:08 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Christopher Gallo // Valhalla of Jupiter
Reason for Revision: Updated magic to tone time down.

Old Attacks

Squire — Gyrocompass

Weapon would be similar to the image in appearance, only with a compass rose design in the center. It is about the same size as the compass... maybe a little bigger, like a baseball or tennis ball? Something that he could hold in his hand with ease, but it won't be able to do much on its own. Unless he chucked it at someone, but then he'd lose his weapon. Maybe even put it on a chain or string/rope? So he could actually hook it to his belt and use both hands. Otherwise he'll be finding something to attach it to him, himself.

Either way, Valhalla must hold onto the sphere and direct it at a single opponent in order to shoot a wave of magic at them. Once hit by the magic, the opponent would discover, probably immediately, that every movement they made was the complete opposite of what they were trying to accomplish! A step forward would be a step back, a punch to the face would have their arm swinging behind them, jumping would be ducking, etc. Of course, some actions are awkward and physically impossible to have an opposite effect, and in cases like that, their body would compensate.

Such an attack only lasts up to thirty seconds, but depending on how quickly the person figured out that stepping backwards would send them forwards, and ducking will have them jumping, they may be able to adapt to the magic and re-orient themselves a little before the magic wore off.

Valhalla can only use the attack up to three times a battle before his energy is completely zapped. A fourth time would have him passing out.

He can still figure out which way north is, of course, but with more accuracy than a normal compass and without having to worry about vertigo (because a gyrocompass compensates for that).


to:

New Attacks

Squire — Gyrocompass, preferably on a chain similar to his compass.

Magic: Valhalla holds his gyrocompass, in his hand, out in front of him to target one opponent within a ten foot radius. (He can't attack someone from across a battlefield. They have to be generally close but still give him enough time to react.) He has to focus on them, and while focused has a lessened awareness of everything going on around him, aside from his opponent. Once hit by the magic, the opponent would discover that every movement they made was the complete opposite of what they were trying to accomplish. A step forward would be a step back, a punch to the face would have their arm swinging behind them, jumping would be ducking, etc. Of course, some actions are awkward and physically impossible to have an opposite effect, and in cases like that, their body would compensate.

This attack's results are pretty open to interpretation, as long as it's within reason. This attack also can't break the laws of gravity. If an opponent is in the air already and coming down, they can't be shot back up into the air. Instead it would result in the opponent pulling their legs up instead of bracing for a landing, or dropping their weapon if they are focused on holding onto it tightly. Again, it would be up to player interpretation.

Valhalla's magic pool lasts up to 60 seconds. Because it's not offensive in nature, Valhalla would use his magic in rapid succession to parry and evade (which is difficult enough without an actual weapon!), and not to outright attack, which makes using less time more effective.

The longer Valhalla focuses on his magic, the more time drained. But then the opponent has more of an opportunity to get used to his attack and figure out a way to re-orient himself or herself (within reason, and after falling victim to the attack a handful of times). After a while, someone might be able to figure out that moving backwards means they would move forward. If they do figure it out during longer held attacks, they might become confused again once the magic wears off completely and their movements are back to normal. Because if they were trying to do the opposite at that point to counter the attack, they would end up walking backwards instead of forwards. It should only result in momentary confusion.


( Edit 1/11: Cutting the knight stuff to be looked over at a later date. )

TRIAL APPROVED FROM ZIPPED

Seconded!


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer


captainthennek

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:21 am


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name:Garethon Lafeu / Lieutenant Magnitite
Reason for Revision: Asked by GM staff to redo starting weapon and hobbies
Link to Old Profile
Link to Revised Profile


APPROVED
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:21 pm


MINOR REVISION

Infinities
Character: Sailor Scylla (Ashen Lilac Crystal Ability)
Attack: The Black Spot -- A tracking ability, this works like the black spot of lore. Scylla curses a target within 10 feet, and she is able to track them. No matter how far away they get or how weak in level they are, she can feel their aura for a maximum of 30 minutes. It is not a situation of "Lieutenant Loser is in front of a red door, with a sign saying 'Slappy's Slapstick Joint.'" This is a sensation of direction and approximate distance.
This does not give her the ability to follow them if, for example, they get sucked through one of the mirrors or into the Negaverse area: She cannot differentiate if they went to the Rift/Mirrorspace/Planet/Wonder/Died/Powered down- it is just like bad cell phone service. It cuts off. If her target, however, only teleports or mirrorwalks away, she can still follow them.

(Discussed this with Mouse on AIM.)



APPROVED

Indubitably

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Kaefaux

Alien Senshi

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:02 am


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Lilith Calchas/Sailor Metis
Reason for Revision: Old character is oooold and Rp's changed things. Not to mention her Super and Eternal attacks were never okayed before.
Link to Old Profile: Here
Link to Revised Profile: Here
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 6:13 pm


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Delphine Amary / Sailor Nemesis
Reason for Revision: Her profile is really old, and embarrassingly bare. Delphine has developed so much as a character since the first time I wrote her profile, and it's about time I revised it to reflect her development.
Link to Old Profile: [link!]
Link to Revised Profile: [link!]


Critiqued!

Krysin

Tipsy Senshi



OP-Yuna

Crew

Dulcet Scarface

PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 9:57 pm


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Billy Roadinger / Bismuthite
Reason for Revision: Billy has changed since his profile was originally written, and I feel like the old profile probably wasn't up to par anyway.
Link to Old Profile: X
Link to Revised Profile: X

~TRIAL STAMP'd by Spy!
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