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 Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 7:12 am
Freedom?
Tera was sitting alone at the moment, for the first time since he'd been take back by his parents in fact, and he found himself starring up at the sky overhead in a slightly dazed manner. Everything just felt so strange and out of whack to him, as though little of what had been going on of late made sense to him. The most confusing parts being that 'he was free' and that he was back with his 'parents'. At least they had been calling themselves his parents but really his memories of them were dated and fractured at best. He had been with his master for a long time, since he was a child, and before that, when he was apparently with those people, it wasn't something he really recalled all too well. He supposed that could be due to his spotty at best memory though. Hard to remember someone from years ago, no matter how hard they tried to force him to remember, when he couldn't even recall things that happened recently in great detail. His memory tended to have gaps in it, long black out periods in which he couldn't recall anything, it was a bit like going to sleep but not dreaming.
Sighing he let himself slump back on the ground, arms crossing behind his head, and he continued starring up at the sky. It didn't really feel real or right, this who 'being free' thing. In fact he felt as though he should still be back home... well, not his home per say, but his master's home. Shouldn't he be there? Shouldn't he be doing as he'd done for years now? If he had to guess it felt as though it were about tea time. Who would prepare that now that Tera was gone? He could hear the voice in his head muttering about how Tera should be glad they didn't have to serve tea, or anything else, to their master any longer. Freedom was a good thing! He felt that it was true, at least everyone told him as much, but it just felt weird to him. Maybe it was due to the fact that he had been a slave for so long? It was as though he had nothing at all to do, and idle hands had never sat well with his master. If he had time to lay around doing nothing then he had time to be useful. There was always something that needed to be done, but his mother just wouldn't allow it. He'd 'been through so much' and he 'needed to rest' but it was still weighing heavily on his mind.
On top of that was the other thing she was determined to see to, that being finding him what amounted to a babysitter. Did he really need that? She talked about it, about Tera, as though he were still just a child, that he needed 'someone his age to play with' and 'she wouldn't let anything else happen to him ever again' which was likely why she clung so tightly to him. He understood that she loved him, probably missed him, and that she wanted to keep him safe, but he hadn't needed protecting to this point, right? Didn't need a babysitter either. The voice in his head was complaining again, this time about how Tera was a useless and naive creature if he actually thought either of those statements were true. Of course he needed a babysitter to look after him, he always had and probably always would. Tera was weakwilled and always leaned on him for aid after all. Why would it be different to accept the babysitter that his mother was going to hand pick for him? So long as someone was there to look after him.
Lifting a hand up he set to toying with one of the braids his mother had put in his hair, "I just don't want that, alright? Geez!" He was told that he was free but it just felt as though he'd gone from one sort of imprisonment to another. This time though he had no idea what was expected of him, all he knew for certain was that he didn't like it. At least where his master had been concerned he felt as though he understood the man, when it came to his parents though they were something he had a hard time wrapping his head around. There was that part of him that didn't want to accept them, it had taken them this long to get him back after all. There was a sensible part of him somewhere in his swirling mirad of thoughts that said it was only due to the war that he'd heard about that even allowed them to come after in him the first place. It was all messed up he thought to himself, rolling onto one side as he heard his mother's voice calling his name. It was in a panicked sort of tone, as though she were certain that he had run off or something. The voice in his head muttered something about how she was going to put a leash on Tera soon enough, something that had him sighing as he sat up.
"I'm right here, mother!" He called out to her, holding up a hand, waving it to get her attention. She wanted to know where he was at all times and to prevent himself from actually ending up having to wear a leash along with getting a babysitter it was best that he make himself known every time she called. After all even his master hadn't gone and leashed him as far as he could recall. A thought that had the voice in his head snorting derisively before finally going silent for a time, leaving Tera alone to deal with his mother as she came to fret over him once more.
He felt that he had loved her once, a long time ago, and while it wasn't a time he could really remember all that well she had told him a lot about it. Tera had to take her word on it but it did sound rather... nice. He just hoped one day that he would feel as though he were actually a part of the family instead of a burden that needed tending to. He was a grown man after all, still a prentice of course since a slave had no need for rank, but still, grown. He didn't feel as though he needed the attention she lavished on him but maybe it was due to the time he was away? It may very well be her trying to make up for their years apart so he wouldn't say anything, would keep it to himself that he felt smothered, and let her get it out of her system. If he were lucky maybe she'd do so quickly and he'd get the breathing room he so desperately wanted. Given her desire to find him a babysitter though it was hard to say how long it might take.
(( Word Count: 1176 ))
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:48 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:49 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:54 pm
A Desire for Strength
Tera woke up at home, in his bed, right where it was that he was supposed to be as opposed to where he had thought he was... and he couldn't help but to wonder if his run in with Kyruie had been nothing more then a dream. Sure, it had been a rather vivid dream, one that felt so very real to him, but it had to be just a dream, right? How else would he have ended up at home again without even recalling how he'd gotten himself here? He didn't think that he would just leave midway through a conversation with Kyruie either. He had been with him in that old, abandoned house, chatting with him, with Kyruie dragging him closer and then... what? He ended up at home? That didn't seem right at all. He would have remembered leaving Kyruie behind, not to mention the walk home, and given that he'd followed Kyruie to where they chatted it should have been difficult getting back home, yet here he was.
Sitting up slowly a groan escaped from Tera's lips, his hands instantly liifting up to clutch at his head which was pounding with a painful headache, one that tended to go hand in hand wiith black outs that he'd suffered in the past. These headaches were the sort that Tera knew went hand in hand with the occassional gaps in his memory. It was that combination of things that had him suddenly debating over his earlier assumptions about his meeting with Kyruie. Maybe this meant that it wasn't all a dream? Maybe he had in fact run into Kyruie but had ended up having one of his black out moments when he was with him? How embarrassing, the one time he found someone that he really wanted to make friends with and he couldn't even recall what it was that had happened between them. What if he'd said something that he couldn't take back? What if Kyruie was upset wth him? What if he didn't want for them to chat ever again due to Tera being so weird?
The voice in his head answered of course, saying that if 'the addict' didn't want to chat with him again that it was a good thing. There was no reason that Tera should bother with the guy, he was nothing more then a drug addict, a waste of space, and someone that would only ever cause Tera problems. Tera had enough problems now that he was back home, family problems, and he didn't need Kyruie's problems piling up on top of him. Tera had only just been freed from his master, still had to deal with his mother's attempts to smother and baby him, to add in all of the issues that Kyruie had... it was just too much. Tera was better off without that 'waste of time'.
It was a rather unfriendly thought that had Tera's golden eyes going a little watery, not wanting to think of Kyruie in such a way. He had problems yes, but so did Tera, both of their problems stemmed from the same source as well, an Oban master, and Kyruie seemed to have it far worse the Tera himself did. He wanted to be friends with him, to look after him, to try to make him happy! He could tell that the drugs weren't exactly helping, if they were Kyruie wouldn't cling so tightly to him. He wanted to help, something he knew that he was awful at, he always hid away from scary things but this time he wanted to do more. He wanted to find Kyruie, to help him, give him more hugs, and try to assure him that things would be alright even without the master that his fellow Matori seemed to want.
They were thoughts that came to Tera as his tears spilled over, something he noticed only when they dripped down onto his hands, "Ah... oh... no." He murmured, lifting his hands up to scrub them against his eyes. He'd always been a bit of a crybaby, hadn't he? He wasn't exactly going to be able to help his friend out if he allowed himself to get so worked up now would he? He would need to try to get stronger even though deep down he knew that strength wasn't exactly his forte. It was going to take a lot for him to get stronger but how exactly he was going to do that was a bit beyond Tera.
Not as if Tera's mother would let him lift a sword the voice in his head said in an exasperated and annoyed manner. It wasn't as though the voice wanted Tera to get such a thought in his head, didn't want him trying to lift a sword, he'd just hurt himself with it. It was something Tera seemed to understand but at the same time he knew that there were other options. The problem remained though, his mother. Would she ever let him learn how to fight or how to use magic? She'd just gotten him back after all, still referred to him as her 'little boy' so the odds were low. His father, perhaps?
The big, normally quiet man seemed to sort of follow mother's lead, didn't exactly seem to know how to approach Tera. It had been a long time after all and unlike Tera's mother the man seemed to sense that maybe something was off about the their son. It might very well be why the man didn't approach him, because Tera was no longer who he used to be. Instead of being the man's son he was just some stranger that had stolen his name and face the voice said in a manner that almost seemed as though it would go along with a shrug. It was something that had Tera rubbing at his eyes again, this time to preempt the tears, to keep them from falling. It was strange, the manner in which his mother was overly protective and clingy while his father just seemed to avoid him. If neither were at such extremes, but instead somewhere toward the middle, it might be easier to deal with them.
Either way it felt as though the best way to be able to try to stand on his own feet would be to approach his father about it. If anyone might allow such a thing it would be that man because there was no way his mother would. She'd probably prefer that he stay at her side as her 'little boy' for the rest of his life. He needed to talk to his father but wouldn't do it now, he didn't think that he could, instead feeling that for the time being he needed to work up the courage the approach his father. Once he felt himself brave enough then and only then would he ask for the big man's help in getting stronger. It was a course of action the voice in his head seemed to disapprove of though, not that Tera could let that stop him. No matter how many people stood against his choices he wanted to do this!
(( Word Count: 1194 ))
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:00 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 8:57 pm
Not My Son
The silence between Tera and his father was a rather long, drawn out, and painful one as the man sat there starring at him in a hard eyed manner before he shook his head, eyes falling back down to what it was that he was working on at the moment. The man had been difficult to deal with since Tera had returned, seeming to prefer just ignoring Tera instead of all but smothering him like what his mother seemed to do to him on a daily basis. The man had also been iffy on the idea of getting Tera a bodyguard due to feeling as though it weren't something the boy needed. Not that he had voiced the opinion in a loud manner. Instead it had merely been him voicing it once when the discussion first came up and dropping it after that, he let his thoughts be made known but really hadn't fought his wife on the manner. Now though, when she wasn't around, and it was just the two of them he found himself stuck with Tera.
After a moment he lifted his golden eyes to pin Tera with his gaze, starring at him for another long moment before he finally said, "I am not like Emi is, I am not one to believe that against all odds that Ome Essd would bring my son back to me. You aren't him, you aren't my son, you are just someone who bares the same name and nothing else. That Emi seems so attached to you is the only reason you are allowed to stay here." The man tone was one that said his words were very much final, "The idea of you have appeared to take his place, it doesn't sit well with me in the least bit."
Tera blinked a couple times, hands clasping tightly together in his lap, and he nodded as he starred down at the ground, "I... see." He murmured, he shouldn't be too surprised, the man had never really looked at him with any sort of affection, hadn't seemed really overwhelmed with any sort of strong emotion when he'd first arrived, but he thought maybe it was shock? It would seem as though that weren't the case.
"I don't think you do. My wife went through a lot to find our son, following various leads, going anywhere and everywhere that she thought he might have ended up. Her leads instead found you, assuming you were our son because you share a name. You might have his same name but you are not him, you are something else, something broken and wrong in the head but Emi is blinded by that. Instead she will see what she wants to see because she is desperate, she spend years, too many years, searching for our son." The man said, pushing to his feet and to his full height, walking over toward where Tera was sitting and reached down, catching hold of him, and dragged him to his feet by his upper arm.
He gave him a once over then said, "You think nobody notices it but I do. The way you sit around on your own, the way you talk to yourself, the way you seem to become someone else from time to time when you get stressed out." The man's lip curled, "So about what you ask me, if you can seek training, if you can become more... yes, I am willing in fact to send you to a master. You can learn to fight with a weapon, to cast magic, you can learn to sing and dance for all I care, I just don't want you here perverting the memory of my son any longer then you already have."
Tera was shaking now, tears in his eyes, looking confused by the man's anger, but a part of him couldn't blame him. He had never quite felt as though he'd belonged, unable to really remember his life before his master, as though such times didn't exist. Maybe he was as broken as all of that? Maybe he wasn't actually their son? The mere thought was something that made his heart hurt so badly. He had felt that the man wasn't his biggest fan, knew he didn't look upon him kindly, but to think he had all of this built up resentment within him. It was unexpected, unwanted, and made him want nothing more then to escape from him. He couldn't do this, couldn't with it, the pain and the fact that the man straight out said that he wasn't wanted... that he wasn't his son... that he was perverting the memory of his son...
His eyes squeeze tightly shut for a moment before popping open and he was suddenly slapping the man's hand away, "Don't touch me!" He spat out, eyes narrowed and harder now, a sneer on his face that could rival that of the man before him, "Do forgive him for not being your perfect memories of whatever your brat might have been. Such things, they tend to be lost when you have a master take you apart enough times that it just leaves you... what did you say... broken and wrong? He... we... are that, very broken, and don't need you pointing it out." Taking a couple steps backwards Tera's other gave the man a dirty look before whirling around on his heel, "You can get bent if you think I... he... needs any of your help, I will figure it out myself, I always have." He said, stalking out of the room, shoving passed the mother, as he went. Leave the two of them to argue he thought to himself in a hopeful manner, he'd find Tera somewhere else nice, quiet, and peaceful to wake up.
Maybe he'd find Ashta? Or... no, Kyruie, Ashta, while the better pick, he wasn't aware of the level of crazy that Tera was, better he thought that the worst thing about Tera was him being too close to Kyruie. The fewer people that knew about the existence of Tera's other the better he thought as he left the house, seeking out those that Tera might be want to see when he came to, people that were most certainly not his parents.
(( Word Count: 1041 ))
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Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2015 1:31 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 2:44 pm
Waking Alone
Tera jerked upright in bed, finding himself laying on top of the sheets, feeling strangely more exhausted then one should feel after sleeping. At least he'd assumed he was sleeping... then again the last thing that he could clearly recall doing was talking to his father. The man had some rather... unfriendly things to say and after that, well it all seemed to go dark. Another black out he realized as he sat there, one hand rubbing against his forehead. What had happened during the time he couldn't recall? He wasn't sure, all that he knew was that his head sort of hurt, making him wonder if he'd drank something that he shouldn't have. He tended to get headaches when he had to deal with anything alcoholic.
"Ugh, not good. Why would I do that?" He muttered to himself, wondering it was an unconscious reaction to what he'd had to deal with as far as his father was concerned. He also found himself fretting over the man's words. What if he was right? What if he wasn't Tera? Well... he was Tera, but what if he wasn't the right Tera? What if the one who was acting as his mother at the moment merely took him in because he shared the same name as her son?
"What if I'm someone else entirely and I'm preying on not only her kindness but that of Kyruie and Ashta as well?" He murmured to himself, at that comment the voice in his head gave a rather loud sound that sounded strangely like a snort before informing him that Kyruie wasn't the sort that did anything out of kindness! Something he heard a lot from that particular voice in his head, but oddly the voice didn't seem as cutting this time around. Not to mention that the voice used his name instead of calling 'idiot' or the 'addict'. It was something that confused him just a touch. The voice in his head had always seemed to hate Kyruie, never using his name, always insulting him, and always trying to keep Tera away from him.
Shaking his head he swung his legs over the bed and muttered, "I'm thinking too hard on that." Something the voice readily agreed with, and Tera forced himself up onto his feet, stretching out all over. Alright, now to try to figure out what he should do next. He had been hoping to talk with his father about being able to learn how to fight or to use magic, something so that he could be more useful but now the idea of facing the man was just plain scary. He'd much rather avoid him and try to think of another way to go about finding himself a teacher of some sort.
As though one of the Gods or another was trying to prove otherwise the door to his room opened up, revealing his father, and the man stepped into the room. The man starred at Tera for a long moment, seeming to be sizing him up, before he said, "I have contacted a pair of prospective teachers, one who is proficient in the art of spell casting and the other is a fighter of sorts, they were all that I could find on short notice. You will be learning from one or the other." The man's voice was a little clipped, as though he was agreeing to allow Tera to learn from one of those two people but he still didn't seem to care for Tera. Not a good thing, since it meant the man still didn't believe that Tera was his son, but at least he was going to help as far as learning went?
"I... umm... thank you." He said, clasping his hands together in front of him, not really looking at the man directly, but instead doing so through his hair, "I am eager to learn so I'm sure one or the other will be able to help me out." He supposed that he should care more about what it was that he would be learning and from who, but at the moment just the fact that he was going to learn anything at all was good enough for him. Looking up once more, not really looking passed the man's chest, he seemed to be struggling with his words. There was that part of him that really wanted to apologize, and when he found the words he murmured, "I-I really am... sorry... that I'm not him, not your son." He hated saying the words because it felt as though he was giving up on the idea that the two people who had take him in were even his parents. It meant that he was alone even when he was surrounded by so many people.
The man starred again, then shook his head, "It was an impossible dream, to think he'd actually come back." The man said simply, not allowing any emotion to color his words. Instead he turned back toward the door, seeming to think on it a moment, then back again, "Once you are through with your training I will decide what to do with you, as well as the contract that my wife wrote up with that other family. I don't know if we should continue to ask them to look after you when you aren't even what Emi thinks you are. I will let you know what I have decided at a later date, for now you can let them play bodyguard if you wish."
Tera nodded, his gaze dropping again, "I... alright, thank you." He didn't want to lose contact with Ashta and Kyruie so quickly, so that was at least a good thing, that he could stay with them for at least a while. The voice in the back of his head seemed as though it were less amused though, muttering about how they didn't need the man's permission to be near the brothers. Tera supposed that was true but would they hate him if the contract was broken? He supposed he wouldn't know until the decision about that came. He hoped it wouldn't be for a while though, he didn't want to lose the pair so quickly. Even if Kyruie was a little weird and Ashta wasn't the most friendly person now that he knew his parents weren't his parents, at least not in the father's eyes, they were all he had.
Tera watched the man leave the room, the door closing quietly behind him, and he sat back down heavily on his bed, "Alright... it seems that I am alone again... but I will figure this out." It had been a stupid dream to think he was going to be reunited with his long lost family, but he just had to get stronger, learn from one of the offered teachers or the other, and then he could leave this place. Giving sigh he muttered, "I miss Kyruie and Ashta." A comment that had the voice in his head falling strangely silent, as though it had nothing to say about the matter, likely due to what Terasu had been up to while Tera was out.
(( Word Count: 1190 ))
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Posted: Sun May 10, 2015 3:13 am
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 11:21 am
Tera: 5
~ 1 Fairgrounds Item: Crystal Kinfa Feathers (3)
~ 1 Shop Item: Mag Booster x 1 (1)
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:44 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:51 pm
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2015 4:39 am
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 6:29 am
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 1:11 pm
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