Transtastic ||Support for the proud Trans Population||

Remy is back again....

Please don't kill me. D:	13.8%	[ 185 ]
I'll be nice, I promise.	23.2%	[ 310 ]
I'm back for now, we're all good right?	14.2%	[ 190 ]
Wait... What are you doing with that knife?	48.8%	[ 652 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1337 ]

[mark272]

Kitsuneko Nyan

Oh yeah, I forgot...
I've been writing some transgender characters in fiction lately and I'm really unsure about how to deal with gender pronouns.
I just wish there were some commonly used genderless ones in this language...

You're right it is difficult. Even for Transgender Performers. See this article from Economist Transgender Pronouns

[Corrupted Coco]

ginaookami

Corrupted Coco

ginaookami

Corrupted Coco

Umbral_Necropolitan

Depends on the doctor you go to. Talk to people who have used the surgeon you plan to use beforehand. Just because they are not American doesn't mean they are butchers.

There are some chop shops in the US as well, just look at post op pictures.

It is not that simple. The standards of care and the doctor's accountability is still different.

ginaookami

Have you even checked out Dr Suporn? I know many women all from US and canada who have gone to him and not one has been disapointed with the work. Not only that, but he's developed his own technique as well, which is lightyears ahead of what anyone else uses.

If you could provide some information backing this up, I would be happy to look at it.

ginaookami

Dr Suporn removes all hair follicales prior to surgery via scraping them off.

That is a standard procedure that ALL surgeons perform; again, it is not that simple. The hair grows in 13 week cycles, meaning that even after the surgeon does this, the hair CAN still grow back later if not eradicated ahead of time.

Visit his site. Join the yayhoo groups mailing list Dr_s_club and TS_woman. Talk to people. Ask opinions. I also have talked to several people face to face that it would be hard to get in touch with as they do not have online personas. Like I said, I've been researching this for a while. Also, online reviews help too!

I have been since you mentioned it. I'm actually fairly impressed. I do still wonder why it is that he is the only one using this technique, though. Current costs for it are rather extensive at this point as well, his surgery is comparable to US prices sitting at just over $17,000.

This is why I chose him. He rather impressed ke too, and they allure of a distant country sparked ky interest in travelling as well. I would rather have it done right the first time. He also has a garuntee that if you are not satisfied, he will do revisions for free plus hotel and airfare.

Travel isn't really my thing; going to a country like Thailand isn't really something I wanted to do. If my research told me this surgery would be worth it, I will do it, but only for this. The satisfaction guarantee is really impressive though.

[NightVine200]

Song of the Century

NightVine200

Song of the Century

So I'm going to live as a girl for at least my first year of college. Unfortunate, but I have no idea how to get anywhere at this point. At least I'll have a roommate that I'm close friends with, and she's completely supportive. Maybe I'll get over my anxiety and check out an LGBT group there. Maybe she'll force me to, lol.

Have you contacted your college about this yet? I found that when I started college this year, they've been nothing but helpful in getting me settled in (even if there are legal boundaries they have to keep to, being pre-T.)

Having a safe haven with your roommate is a great start, it gets immensely tiring to socialize with new people and wonder how you're perceived.

I haven't contacted the college. I don't even have any binders. However, second year students are allowed gender neutral housing, rooming with either sex, so my friend and I may pick that next year.

It is nice that I'll have someone who can help me when I hit depressive spots, yeah.

I found it was easier for me to come out and start anew first year, but do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Also, invest in a binder, I only have one atm and it's been great for about 6 months now, I wash it on weekends when no one will see me. smile

[NightVine200]

Kitsuneko Nyan

Oh yeah, I forgot...
I've been writing some transgender characters in fiction lately and I'm really unsure about how to deal with gender pronouns.
I just wish there were some commonly used genderless ones in this language...

Try these: http://artoftransliness.tumblr.com/post/15457719520/alexthefab-more-gender-neutral-pronoun

[Song of the Century]

NightVine200

I found it was easier for me to come out and start anew first year, but do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Also, invest in a binder, I only have one atm and it's been great for about 6 months now, I wash it on weekends when no one will see me. smile

I definitely will get binders in college. Can't while with my parents.

[Kitsuneko Nyan]

NightVine200

Kitsuneko Nyan

Oh yeah, I forgot...
I've been writing some transgender characters in fiction lately and I'm really unsure about how to deal with gender pronouns.
I just wish there were some commonly used genderless ones in this language...

Try these: http://artoftransliness.tumblr.com/post/15457719520/alexthefab-more-gender-neutral-pronoun

The problem with those other than the first one is that they are so uncommon that any potential reader will just be like "what the hell? *confusion*"

[Desideraht]

NightVine200

Song of the Century

So I'm going to live as a girl for at least my first year of college. Unfortunate, but I have no idea how to get anywhere at this point. At least I'll have a roommate that I'm close friends with, and she's completely supportive. Maybe I'll get over my anxiety and check out an LGBT group there. Maybe she'll force me to, lol.

Have you contacted your college about this yet? I found that when I started college this year, they've been nothing but helpful in getting me settled in (even if there are legal boundaries they have to keep to, being pre-T.)

Having a safe haven with your roommate is a great start, it gets immensely tiring to socialize with new people and wonder how you're perceived.

What "laws" does T effect? I can't be with guys OR girls now because I'm not really male OR female. Basically I am "banned" from a lot of places (like dorms) because there is no place to put someone who is legally female but not biologically female.

[Desideraht]

My 2cents on going "stealth":

I won't argue against going stealth but I don't feel that the quality of my life is "less" because I am out. It's just different than a cisgender man's experience. And well, I just wholly embrace my transsexuality. If I were treated like a cisgender guy I don't think it would feel right. I am a man but I am not an ordinary man. I do not feel I should be treated ordinary. Sometimes that's the exact thing a guy wants but it isn't really what I have ever wanted. And despite my "outness", I have been accepted into many male-only circles, so maybe the fact that I take ease with my transsexuality also makes it easier for others to accept it. I have been living as male for about 3 and a half years, so I am willing to admit that maybe I just haven't been out long enough to get tired of it. But so far I've enjoyed being the advocate, and the "token" trans person of most social circles. I feel confident in my ability to represent myself as a comfortable member of the community. And I also don't mind the constant questions. I can sometimes be annoyed by misunderstandings, but people will have misunderstandings about you whether you're trans or not. I'm glad it's over my gender identity and not other more personal aspects of my personality. I think my only real annoyance with being "out" is that I am KNOWN as a trans person, and not much else. But that is also true for the guy who is known as someone's "black friend" or "you know, the gay one". People are always going to be categorized and I would rather it be something true about myself... I suppose it's just a little annoying that even BEFORE people meet me, I am outed, but no one really cares much about say, my art or other things that I do, because the most interesting thing about me apparently is that I am transsexual. However, I am humble enough to admit that yes, my oddity is very interesting. Probably more interesting than anything I could ever come up with.

It is on that note that I know many people do not wish to be interesting, and want to go about very mundane, bland, rather uninteresting lives, because that is safe. I can understand that value of personal safety, and have respect for it. I suppose I like to live life "on the edge" in a social sense, even if that puts me in danger of being ostracized or even assaulted. Not everyone has the "calling" to be an advocate or a public figure. Not everyone has the desire to stand up for others because they are hardly maintaining themselves. That doesn't necessarily make them weaker; they're just not cut out to be a public advocate, and a person should not feel that they are entitled to do so just because they are a member of a very small minority.

However, I do have only one issue with some "stealthers". It is when they start to blatantly deny ever being transsexual. That they have transitioned, therefore their past is irrelevant, and they are "no longer transsexual". We will forever be transsexual, because part of being transsexual is including our transsexual history. That history makes us different than any cisgender man, because we have this unique set of experiences, and unique anatomy. Even after a full sex change, it is never quite "right". And even if it was, we would still have female DNA, and the memories of having a female form. It is with that knowledge that we are transsexuals. It is not an inferiority-- quite contrary, actually. It gives us an advantage in understanding women that cisgender men will never have. Even as a gay man, I deeply value this asset, and this unique connection with women, that other men do not get to have.

It is on those grounds that I refuse to EVER deny being transsexual when asked or "accused" of being such. I always just say yes like it's no different than asking if my name is Dan or if my eyes are green. It's as plain as any other portion of my identity. As interesting as transsexuality is, it really isn't all that extraordinary. The extraordinary part is the incredible journey and transformation we must all go through.

To clarify, I understand being "stealth" in the professional world. Many times it is necessary and I am almost always at least partially stealth in most work situations (i.e. only my bosses or a few people know usually). This is more just so that my transsexuality is not a distracting thing to my coworkers/peers. I was also stealth in college for those same reasons.

[Corrupted Coco]

Hitch Slap

My 2cents on going "stealth":

I won't argue against going stealth but I don't feel that the quality of my life is "less" because I am out. It's just different than a cisgender man's experience. And well, I just wholly embrace my transsexuality. If I were treated like a cisgender guy I don't think it would feel right. I am a man but I am not an ordinary man. I do not feel I should be treated ordinary. Sometimes that's the exact thing a guy wants but it isn't really what I have ever wanted. And despite my "outness", I have been accepted into many male-only circles, so maybe the fact that I take ease with my transsexuality also makes it easier for others to accept it. I have been living as male for about 3 and a half years, so I am willing to admit that maybe I just haven't been out long enough to get tired of it. But so far I've enjoyed being the advocate, and the "token" trans person of most social circles. I feel confident in my ability to represent myself as a comfortable member of the community. And I also don't mind the constant questions. I can sometimes be annoyed by misunderstandings, but people will have misunderstandings about you whether you're trans or not. I'm glad it's over my gender identity and not other more personal aspects of my personality. I think my only real annoyance with being "out" is that I am KNOWN as a trans person, and not much else. But that is also true for the guy who is known as someone's "black friend" or "you know, the gay one". People are always going to be categorized and I would rather it be something true about myself... I suppose it's just a little annoying that even BEFORE people meet me, I am outed, but no one really cares much about say, my art or other things that I do, because the most interesting thing about me apparently is that I am transsexual. However, I am humble enough to admit that yes, my oddity is very interesting. Probably more interesting than anything I could ever come up with.

It is on that note that I know many people do not wish to be interesting, and want to go about very mundane, bland, rather uninteresting lives, because that is safe. I can understand that value of personal safety, and have respect for it. I suppose I like to live life "on the edge" in a social sense, even if that puts me in danger of being ostracized or even assaulted. Not everyone has the "calling" to be an advocate or a public figure. Not everyone has the desire to stand up for others because they are hardly maintaining themselves. That doesn't necessarily make them weaker; they're just not cut out to be a public advocate, and a person should not feel that they are entitled to do so just because they are a member of a very small minority.

However, I do have only one issue with some "stealthers". It is when they start to blatantly deny ever being transsexual. That they have transitioned, therefore their past is irrelevant, and they are "no longer transsexual". We will forever be transsexual, because part of being transsexual is including our transsexual history. That history makes us different than any cisgender man, because we have this unique set of experiences, and unique anatomy. Even after a full sex change, it is never quite "right". And even if it was, we would still have female DNA, and the memories of having a female form. It is with that knowledge that we are transsexuals. It is not an inferiority-- quite contrary, actually. It gives us an advantage in understanding women that cisgender men will never have. Even as a gay man, I deeply value this asset, and this unique connection with women, that other men do not get to have.

It is on those grounds that I refuse to EVER deny being transsexual when asked or "accused" of being such. I always just say yes like it's no different than asking if my name is Dan or if my eyes are green. It's as plain as any other portion of my identity. As interesting as transsexuality is, it really isn't all that extraordinary. The extraordinary part is the incredible journey and transformation we must all go through.

To clarify, I understand being "stealth" in the professional world. Many times it is necessary and I am almost always at least partially stealth in most work situations (i.e. only my bosses or a few people know usually). This is more just so that my transsexuality is not a distracting thing to my coworkers/peers. I was also stealth in college for those same reasons.

I don't tell people who don't already know. Why should I? The only result is that it will inherently change the way they look at me. There's always going to be a point where cisgendered people just will not understand, and honestly I don't see how that should be my problem. Being transsexual is a medical condition, and that makes it none of anyone else's business. I wouldn't tell a random acquaintance that I was transsexual just because they asked any more than I would with any other serious and personal medical condition. I'm not just a transsexual, and I'd rather not be judged as purely such. I'm a woman and I expect to be treated that way.

[That Is All]

Found a way to grow my hair out without raising suspicions from my dad. -Success kid-

But in all seriousness, I found that wearing a beanie and pushing my hair up into it works really well as I'm growing my hair out to conceal it from my parents. Also, I look pretty feminine when I let my bangs fall down out of the hat over one side of my face.

[NightVine200]

Kitsuneko Nyan

NightVine200

Kitsuneko Nyan

Oh yeah, I forgot...
I've been writing some transgender characters in fiction lately and I'm really unsure about how to deal with gender pronouns.
I just wish there were some commonly used genderless ones in this language...

Try these: http://artoftransliness.tumblr.com/post/15457719520/alexthefab-more-gender-neutral-pronoun

The problem with those other than the first one is that they are so uncommon that any potential reader will just be like "what the hell? *confusion*"

I heard of botth the Em-series and the Zie-series before, but it might be worth explaining then.

[NightVine200]

Hitch Slap

NightVine200

Song of the Century

So I'm going to live as a girl for at least my first year of college. Unfortunate, but I have no idea how to get anywhere at this point. At least I'll have a roommate that I'm close friends with, and she's completely supportive. Maybe I'll get over my anxiety and check out an LGBT group there. Maybe she'll force me to, lol.

Have you contacted your college about this yet? I found that when I started college this year, they've been nothing but helpful in getting me settled in (even if there are legal boundaries they have to keep to, being pre-T.)

Having a safe haven with your roommate is a great start, it gets immensely tiring to socialize with new people and wonder how you're perceived.

What "laws" does T effect? I can't be with guys OR girls now because I'm not really male OR female. Basically I am "banned" from a lot of places (like dorms) because there is no place to put someone who is legally female but not biologically female.

I'd need to be on T to get my sex marker changed, so while I changed the name I use in daily life, there's still an F on the list when they do role-call. smile

I recognize that part. :/ I screwed my class out of introduction camp because I said I wasn't comfortable with sleeping in the guy-dorm yet, seeing as at the time it would be my first time interacting with people after a year or being crippled by panic and anxiety disorders and it seemed a bit too much to handle. It was a possibility, though. Could very well be the rules change from country to country and school to school, I'm from Holland.

[NightVine200]

Song of the Century

NightVine200

I found it was easier for me to come out and start anew first year, but do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Also, invest in a binder, I only have one atm and it's been great for about 6 months now, I wash it on weekends when no one will see me. smile

I definitely will get binders in college. Can't while with my parents.

sad That sucks. Be careful with ace bandages and get a binder as soon as you can!

[Song of the Century]

NightVine200

Song of the Century

NightVine200

I found it was easier for me to come out and start anew first year, but do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Also, invest in a binder, I only have one atm and it's been great for about 6 months now, I wash it on weekends when no one will see me. smile

I definitely will get binders in college. Can't while with my parents.

sad That sucks. Be careful with ace bandages and get a binder as soon as you can!

I'm considering ordering a set of three for about $90 from Amazon. Absolutely no plans to use Ace bandages. If I can't find a way to pay without my parents knowing, I'll have a friend who can order it for me, and I can just give her the cash.

[Umbral_Necropolitan]

Corrupted Coco

I don't tell people who don't already know. Why should I? The only result is that it will inherently change the way they look at me. There's always going to be a point where cisgendered people just will not understand, and honestly I don't see how that should be my problem. Being transsexual is a medical condition, and that makes it none of anyone else's business. I wouldn't tell a random acquaintance that I was transsexual just because they asked any more than I would with any other serious and personal medical condition. I'm not just a transsexual, and I'd rather not be judged as purely such. I'm a woman and I expect to be treated that way.

That is kind of how a I view it, then again I've never had anyone ask if I was trans.

Not being openly trans has allowed me to gain acceptance into groups with very conservative members without causing issues for me. I've noticed even if people are okay with you being trans, it doesn't necessarily mean they will stick up for you when someone else comes to s**t on your parade.