biancaswrath
6,100 Points
-
200
-
200
-
200
Submissive Support is now a Guild!!!
Click the banner to check it out!
Click the banner to check it out!
Welcome to Submissive Support
So... I have come to realize that there are a great number of submissives on gaia, and I randomly decided that maybe there may be some who just want to get together and exchange thoughts and intelligent conversation, and who knows, maybe give some good advice to each other.
Some Simple Rules:
1. Be respectful. I will never disrespect you for your lifestyle. Please do not disrespect mine. All offenders of this will be reported, because I have no tolerance for this.
2. No spamming. It just wastes my time when I have to go and report your nonsense post.
3. THIS IS NOT A PICKUP THREAD. Masters/Mistresses, Dom/me, please go elsewhere to find a new submissive/slave.
4. This thread is meant for submissive/slaves only. I mean no disrespect to any Dom/mes or Masters/Mistresses, but please don't post in here. Thank you.
5. No cybering. Anything inappropriate will be reported immediately.
6. Be literate. I can't help you if I can't read your post.
7. No roleplaying.
8. Please attempt to stay on topic as much as possible.
9. I reserve the right to modify any of these rules at any time without notice.
THERE IS MATURE CONTENT IN THIS THREAD
I know that I can't stop you from being underage, but this is a fair warning to anyone who may be offended by the content of this thread. Please do not yell at me if you read about something that ruins your innocent mind.
UPDATE: Because of legal issues, I must insist that anyone participating here is of age. Does that mean I'm going to go and check everyone, no, but I don't want to get into trouble for discussing mature content with a minor. Please do not put me in a bad situation. If you are not of a legal age in your state, please wait to post here until you are.
PAST TOPICS
**UNDER CONSTRUCTION!**
Okay, I've added this because alot of peoples are asking the same questions, so I'm going to try to set up some of the past discussions here, for future references. biggrin
**UNDER CONSTRUCTION!**
Okay, I've added this because alot of peoples are asking the same questions, so I'm going to try to set up some of the past discussions here, for future references. biggrin
The "Age" Topic
biancaswrath
I've said this many times now, but this is my opinion on the age issue:
First of all, everything in bdsm revolves around consent, so please, be old enough to legally consent before doing anything that could get you or your partner arrested. I'm not kidding. because most judges I know aren't into bdsm, they won't really understand "Well I thought that she was old enough to be whipped while tied to a rack..."
Secondly, and of equal importance, PLEASE know how to deal with a vanilla relationship before entering a bdsm one. I've seen this happen far too many times. Youngsters get into this kind of relationship, and then when things get sticky, they don't know how to communicate with their partner because they don't have the experience of other relationships in the past. Now I know that every last one of you is going to reply with "But Bianca, I just can't be happy in a vanilla relationship." Believe me, I know how much it sucks to be vanilla when you are a kinky person. I've been there and done that. But if I hadn't had numerous long term relationships before I met my Master, I wouldn't be mature enough to handle all the fun mature stuff that we do. biggrin
Finally, I am not saying that you are too young for this, nor am I calling you immature. I was a very mature 16 year old, but I still had stuff to learn. Truthfully, there is always more to learn in life. Basically, what I want to say is SLOW DOWN. You guys are young. You haven't messed up your lives doing stupid stuff, and you still have time to be innocent. And my Master (who reads over my shoulder) would like me to mention that bdsm is not what you read in manga and watch in anime. He's seen lots of kids (and beat lots of kids) who based all of their bdsm knowledge off of anime, and it angers him.
First of all, everything in bdsm revolves around consent, so please, be old enough to legally consent before doing anything that could get you or your partner arrested. I'm not kidding. because most judges I know aren't into bdsm, they won't really understand "Well I thought that she was old enough to be whipped while tied to a rack..."
Secondly, and of equal importance, PLEASE know how to deal with a vanilla relationship before entering a bdsm one. I've seen this happen far too many times. Youngsters get into this kind of relationship, and then when things get sticky, they don't know how to communicate with their partner because they don't have the experience of other relationships in the past. Now I know that every last one of you is going to reply with "But Bianca, I just can't be happy in a vanilla relationship." Believe me, I know how much it sucks to be vanilla when you are a kinky person. I've been there and done that. But if I hadn't had numerous long term relationships before I met my Master, I wouldn't be mature enough to handle all the fun mature stuff that we do. biggrin
Finally, I am not saying that you are too young for this, nor am I calling you immature. I was a very mature 16 year old, but I still had stuff to learn. Truthfully, there is always more to learn in life. Basically, what I want to say is SLOW DOWN. You guys are young. You haven't messed up your lives doing stupid stuff, and you still have time to be innocent. And my Master (who reads over my shoulder) would like me to mention that bdsm is not what you read in manga and watch in anime. He's seen lots of kids (and beat lots of kids) who based all of their bdsm knowledge off of anime, and it angers him.
Necropet
I wanted to point out to you younger people in here, that what Bianca said was not a personal attack on any of you or meant to make you feel unwelcome here. What she said, and if I'm putting words in your mouth Bianca, please feel free to smack me whee , was said out of concern for you, your growth as a person, and more importantly, your safety.
If you choose the wrong person in a vanilla relationship, the most likely outcome is a broken heart, and for those of you who are 17 or younger, lets face it, it's probably not love, so you're looking at some drama and a bruised ego. Any of us who have been practicing the lifestyle for any length of time have invariably come across many, many people who rushed into BDSM before they were ready and ended up abused, beaten, raped or maimed because they didn't have the relationship experience to choose a suitable Dom or Master for themselves.
Choosing the wrong Master can leave you flat out broken.
Do you understand now why having some relationship experience under your belt before you go Master shopping is so important?
Scary stuff said, I also want to reiterate that what I'm saying is not meant to make any of you feel unwelcome here. I fully appluad you taking the time to educate yourself. It's all part of growing and learning so that when that right Dom does come along, you are in a position to show him why he should claim you.
My advice to you is that as you read and talk to people and educate yourself, keep in the back of your mind the question: What would my ideal Master look for in his sub/slave/pet?
If you can answer that question and strive to be that person, when he/she finally does come along, your chances of winning yourself the Master of your dreams will be that much better.
If you choose the wrong person in a vanilla relationship, the most likely outcome is a broken heart, and for those of you who are 17 or younger, lets face it, it's probably not love, so you're looking at some drama and a bruised ego. Any of us who have been practicing the lifestyle for any length of time have invariably come across many, many people who rushed into BDSM before they were ready and ended up abused, beaten, raped or maimed because they didn't have the relationship experience to choose a suitable Dom or Master for themselves.
Choosing the wrong Master can leave you flat out broken.
Do you understand now why having some relationship experience under your belt before you go Master shopping is so important?
Scary stuff said, I also want to reiterate that what I'm saying is not meant to make any of you feel unwelcome here. I fully appluad you taking the time to educate yourself. It's all part of growing and learning so that when that right Dom does come along, you are in a position to show him why he should claim you.
My advice to you is that as you read and talk to people and educate yourself, keep in the back of your mind the question: What would my ideal Master look for in his sub/slave/pet?
If you can answer that question and strive to be that person, when he/she finally does come along, your chances of winning yourself the Master of your dreams will be that much better.
The "Dependency" Topic
Quote:
I definitely have submissive tendencies, and my boyfriend has been wonderful in trying out new things. The major hang-up he has, though, is that he's afraid that my submissiveness is more like emotional dependency and that when he gets a job in Japan like he's planning to for a year (so he can become fluent in Japanese) I'll fall apart without him. In the spirit of full disclosure, I do tend to forget to do things for myself if I'm also not doing them for someone else or if I'm not reminded/ordered to.
Do you think that he's right, that by me being submissive, I might be more likely to develop/have unhealthy dependencies?
Do you think that he's right, that by me being submissive, I might be more likely to develop/have unhealthy dependencies?
biancaswrath
Being submissive is just as emotional a thing as it is physical. There is an actual thing called subdrop (wish I had the link right now but I dont... get it for you next week) where a sub will go through a physical withdraw from not having her/his Dom around. I know that it's real cause I go through it. Does it mean that you have unhealty tendancys? Not always. Part of being submissive is an emotional need to serve your Dom. My suggestion is to do what my Dom would: get another Dom to check up on you while he's gone. My Dom has done it before for someone who lost her Dom. She needed someone emotionally (not physically) to be submissive to, so he filled the void until she could find someone else. Basically what I'm saying is that it's perfectly normal to have an extreme emotional attachment to a Dom.
