Single Parent Support Thread

[Adversative]

PetitChat

So were supposed to be going to Mexico in December. I dont want to go. Were going with his parents, who are paying, and I will feel guilty forever. It will mean missing a weekend with Aden, taking time off work, and being inevitably bored. I dont travel and I have never wanted to go to Mexico. I just dont want to go.

Tyler said that hes going to make it a vacation Ill never forget...and said I HAVE to go, cause there are plans.

What would you ladies think if you were me?

Lurker, not a regular, but -- you can probably work out a visitation swap with Aden's dad, where you get a couple of days he normally gets and he gets that vacation time.

Even if you don't have any desire to go to Mexico, there's probably ways to make it not totally suck. What are some activities you enjoy doing in your free time? Can you schedule some of those in Mexico? There are lots of beaches in Mexico, so maybe you can just chill out and read a book on the beach.

Clearly, it's really important to Tyler, so I'd try and find a way of making it work. (I'm hesitant about reading anything into his insistence.)

[Knitsy]

A swap can easily be worked out. By then Ill hopefully have more court-appointed time with Aden anyway, or his dad will continually get more lenient. To assume that I wouldnt replace that lost time with something else is stupid. Im not an idiot. Tyler isnt either. He knows Aden comes WAY ahead of him! Hes not selfish and knows Im not either....which is why Im having such a hard time accepting a free trip...

Jeez...

[Knitsy]

Adversative

PetitChat

So were supposed to be going to Mexico in December. I dont want to go. Were going with his parents, who are paying, and I will feel guilty forever. It will mean missing a weekend with Aden, taking time off work, and being inevitably bored. I dont travel and I have never wanted to go to Mexico. I just dont want to go.

Tyler said that hes going to make it a vacation Ill never forget...and said I HAVE to go, cause there are plans.

What would you ladies think if you were me?

Lurker, not a regular, but -- you can probably work out a visitation swap with Adens dad, where you get a couple of days he normally gets and he gets that vacation time.

Even if you dont have any desire to go to Mexico, theres probably ways to make it not totally suck. What are some activities you enjoy doing in your free time? Can you schedule some of those in Mexico? There are lots of beaches in Mexico, so maybe you can just chill out and read a book on the beach.

Clearly, its really important to Tyler, so Id try and find a way of making it work. Im hesitant about reading anything into his insistence.)

Knowing Tyler and his inability to keep a secret, I know something is happening in his head.

Its the beach/lounging time Im dreading. Me + heat = not good. Haha

[Adversative]

PetitChat

Adversative

PetitChat

So were supposed to be going to Mexico in December. I dont want to go. Were going with his parents, who are paying, and I will feel guilty forever. It will mean missing a weekend with Aden, taking time off work, and being inevitably bored. I dont travel and I have never wanted to go to Mexico. I just dont want to go.

Tyler said that hes going to make it a vacation Ill never forget...and said I HAVE to go, cause there are plans.

What would you ladies think if you were me?

Lurker, not a regular, but -- you can probably work out a visitation swap with Adens dad, where you get a couple of days he normally gets and he gets that vacation time.

Even if you dont have any desire to go to Mexico, theres probably ways to make it not totally suck. What are some activities you enjoy doing in your free time? Can you schedule some of those in Mexico? There are lots of beaches in Mexico, so maybe you can just chill out and read a book on the beach.

Clearly, its really important to Tyler, so Id try and find a way of making it work. Im hesitant about reading anything into his insistence.)

Knowing Tyler and his inability to keep a secret, I know something is happening in his head.

Its the beach/lounging time Im dreading. Me + heat = not good. Haha

Look for indoor, A/C friendly activities? razz

ETA: And I'm not sure what temperatures you're used to, but generally Mexico in the winter is like .... 65-75 Fahrenheit? Pleasant, not painfully hot.

[Knitsy]

Adversative

I guess that's a temp I can handle... but still, lounging by a pool for 7 days sounds boring. I'm not buying a bikini when I suspect I'll have no desire to wear one, so I do not want to do that. Tyler said we'll have lots of time to be alone..... but so did his mom.

[Violets In The Rain]

Kayla - I wouldn't go. If you have no desire to actually go, don't. Its not up to Tyler wether you go or not, id remind him of that too. Plus then you don't miss your weekend with Aden, or have to sort out a swap, especially if his dad decides he wants to be a d**k about you trying to swap around.


My internet connection is dodgy, but tomorrow I am handing in my last assignment for now, and then im going to do a pregnancy test. Wish me luck! I'll let you know when my internet isn't a butthole.

[Knitsy]

No no, Adens dad is done being a d**k. He already knows Im going.

Tyler wont take no for an answer because Im fairly certain hes going to ask me...something while were there. I dont think anyone picked up on that.

[Violets In The Rain]

You think he's gunna ask you to.. marry him? Thats a bit quick off the mark!

Speaking of holidays, I think me and Adam finally decided where we both want to go for our incredibly late honeymoon, China. Not for the crowded city life, but more the culture.
But I think we need to lay off booking it for a while and see how then next week or so pans out for us.

Edit:

P.S - If im pregnant or not is going to be confirmed on Tuesday with an ultrasound. I'll explain once I have the results.
And me and Adam have just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary (:

[Knitsy]

I have my reasons for thinking he's up to something. He's not good at keeping secrets unless he's really serious about it.

[Violets In The Rain]

Well fair enough. I still think he's jumping the gun a bit if thats what he is gunna ask you, but thats not up to me to decide.

Edit: On another note, im feeling slightly nervous about tomorrow..

[Knitsy]

By the time we go to Mexico, we'll have been together for a year and four months. Honestly I'm more sure about Tyler than I have ever been about another person. It took two years for Aden's dad to ask me to marry him and he never actually WANTED to marry me... and I never wanted to marry him, really. I have no doubts about Tyler.


I'm sure you'll be fine, no matter what the outcome is.

[Violets In The Rain]

Me and Adam were together for near on three years before we got engaged. And to me, that was still too soon. Then again, we only married for legal protection, and wouldn't of bothered at all if it wasn't for my batshit sisters. Eh, just my view on marriage though, I know people still hold something special in the marriage system, and fair play to them. He also knocked me up with Imogen when we'd only been together three years, so yeah we arn't exactly full of brilliance.
Maybe I stuck to much to the 'be together for like 8 years and then have children with him' idea we wanted. Sure didn't end up like that!

Well if I am, its either gunna destroy my marriage, or destroy my education and career. So it'll be pretty much picking my poison.
Just trying to chillax, and holding onto any shred of hope im not. Its not going so well...

[Knitsy]

I honestly thought I would be happy never being married... but with Tyler, things feel so much DIFFERENT. I have no attachment to keeping my family's name or anything... which is why my two sisters don't want to be married ever. I have a really strong desire to be someone's wife... have more babies... do everything a woman "should do". I honestly think time has nothing to do with when someone "should" get married - I know people who were together for years, got married, and ended up divorced and hating each other... and I also know people who were together for much less time than Tyler and I before they were engaged, and ended up very happy. It's all the luck of the draw, I think.


Just do whatever you feel is right, Ci... something's gotta give.

[Violets In The Rain]

Well me and Adam had our backs up about our last marriages being abusive. We both married our ex partners because we wanted to, and it didn't turn out well. So we agreed that we'd never get married because we wanted too, since we associated it to much with our last marriages. To be honest, to be married for the sake of being married never really appealed to much to me. I'd be happy with my maiden name. I'm not attached to it, and its an arsehole to write out sometimes, but its just a name to me.

Yeah I totally get what you mean. I know time has got nothing to do with it, but I feel with my ex husband even though we'd been together for years, there was still that one side I never saw of him. I still think if id given that more time, I would of seen it. He couldn't hide it forever.
Plus I seem to be a winner of breeding with deadbeats so 'time' I think can sometimes weed them out a bit.

Me and Adam arn't really fans of stereotypes of people in general. I'm not a typical wife. He isn't a typical husband. Never will be. It's more about equality in everyway in our household. But its up to everyone else how they live, even though they see the equality in our household to be a bit 'liberal feminist and hippy' but hey ho. We only get one life, so lets do what makes us happy right?

Yeah I know. I'll just get through tomorrow and go from there. I'm going on my own, which is and isn't a good idea.