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Funniest s**t I've received in ages. (bottom of the first page)

Yep, that's funny 0.20900321543408 20.9% [ 65 ]
Whoa, serious? 0.10932475884244 10.9% [ 34 ]
Some people are so stupid 0.21864951768489 21.9% [ 68 ]
Poll whore option 0.46302250803859 46.3% [ 144 ]
Total Votes:[ 311 ]

Human Garbage

Raelyn De Lioncourt
-She stopped the second he began to move. She smiled at him then laid his head down onto the ground she patted his cheek softly and then stood up.-

"I was making sure you were alive."

Thresh coughed gently into the back of one elegant hand. Still beet red, he averted his eyes once more, unsure of what to say at this point in time. There he was, head in a lady's lap belonging to a woman whose name he still did not know. He reached for his jug again and started to chug it. As he did, his hair faded to a colorless white and his skin seemed to regain a fraction of its youthfulness.
-Rae giggled and walked over to the bar, leaving him to gather himself and got herself a glass of whiskey. She downed the first glass then poured herself another one. Walking over to him she crouched down and said softly.-

"My name is Raelyn."

Human Garbage

Thresh finished drinking for now. He hiccuped, his cheeks red, and stuffed the cork back into the glass jug, swaying slightly. Whatever he was drinking, it wasn't just booze. It had to have been some sort of magical concoction that kept his sickness at bay, and even granted him his haleness and beautiful features.

"Raelyn, aye? Pretty name."
-She wasn't going to press him about his changing appearance. She could smell he was sick but that was his business not hers. She shrugged at his comment then stood up and downed her glass of whiskey then walked back to the bar and placed it onto the counter top. She stood there for a moment wondering if what she was doing was smart.-

Human Garbage

Thresh fell silent for many heartbeats. He swished the contents of his jug briefly before he spoke, his voice holding an unidentified amount of melancholy. His eyes gained a faraway look, as though he saw something in the distance that others could not. Then he spoke, the tone no longer lilting and sounding like something not quite of this earth.

"'Twould do no good to hide it from ye. Ye know now... I am a man with little time left. Though I aren't be lookin' quite human, I am, and I've not the extensive lifespan of races that aren't human. No one's fer knowing what ails this body of mine, it's been gettin' worse. I came because I was wantin' ta finally see me mum and me kin, but... I'm not knowin' where they be, or where ta find 'em..."
-Rae turned around and blinked at him. She took in a deep breath then walked towards him. She stopped a few steps from him then licked her lips.-

"If you are wanting time. I can give it to you."

Human Garbage

Thresh shook his head.
"I am hopin' that when I finally see 'em, I'll be in me original form. I've several months, I'm told."
-Rae nodded. Not everyone went the Vampire way. She looked around then back at him.-

"How are you going to find them?"

Human Garbage

Thresh smiled sadly.
"When I find them, I'll allow you ta change me. Please don't think I'm trying to be rude. I don't want to die young, honest. I'm not sure where to find 'em, but I'm hopeful that if I stick 'round long enough, they'll show."
-She nodded and smiled softly at him. She then took in a deep breath and rubbed her neck. She needed to go out and feed. This time around she's found herself so very much more thirsty. She hadn't been asleep as long as the previous times so maybe this was a side affect from waking early.-

"That's fine. I'm here to help. But right now I need to go feed before I jump you............ you do smell so good despite the sickness."

Human Garbage

Thresh waved his hand in a dismissive motion. He was smiling again even though his color had not yet returned. His cheeks still looked sunken and his eyes were still baggy and glassy as an invalid's were wont to be. A playful smirk pulled on the corner of his lips as he replied.

"Well well, I'm flattered. Ye'd jump li'l ol' me?"
He snickered for a good while before wiping his eyes, coughing some.
"Nah, I kid. Go on now. Ye've gotta eat. And me, I ought to rest some... I'm not feelin' too well."
-She nodded and vanished before he could entice her anymore. She ran through the forest and carried on. She couldn't feed close to where she was lurking. She did think of him as she ran. Something about him drew her close.-

Human Garbage

Thresh had no idea that he had been enticing the vampiress, nor the effect he had on her. He liked her, yes, but he couldn't identify her charismatic draw. He just chalked it up to what vampires were like, for he had never met one before.
As promised, he rolled over onto the sofa and nodded off. He required about 12 hours of it a day and he needed to drink the elixir near constantly lest he die more quickly.
[Anyone around?]
((I am but I fear you are not.))

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