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Funniest s**t I've received in ages. (bottom of the first page)

Yep, that's funny 0.26717557251908 26.7% [ 35 ]
Whoa, serious? 0.13740458015267 13.7% [ 18 ]
Some people are so stupid 0.35114503816794 35.1% [ 46 ]
Poll whore option 0.24427480916031 24.4% [ 32 ]
Total Votes:[ 131 ]
La Cantarella's avatar

Eloquent Lunatic

The tears looked almost beautiful in his large eyes, almost like the sea swelling within those blue-green orbs. He tried to avert his eyes away from hers, but he couldn't quite do it. So he simply sniffled a few times and took a few hiccuping breaths.

"But my bouncy stick..."
-She was lost in his eyes. So stunningly beautiful. Hers would be a very clear green. She giggled at him and shook her head as she stood up.-

"Its a very cool stick."
La Cantarella's avatar

Eloquent Lunatic

"But I thought it was a very rare relic imbued with magic!" He murmured, still very much devastated.
"I sold me father's shin bone fer it. Pa ne'er did find it again. 'E used it as a cane when it got blown off in battle. Ne'er could part with the thing. Carried it with 'im to the chirurgeon's tent."
-She felt horrible and didn't know how to make it all better. She then reached down and hugged him. She rubbed his back and said.-

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize it meant so much to you..."
AzuBaer's avatar

Giver

"Why is he crying?" Baer said curiously.

He was so mesmerized by his drink that he had forgotten he was in a pub.
La Cantarella's avatar

Eloquent Lunatic

Thresh opened his mouth and wailed in a rather comical manner, even so far as speaking and all the words kind of melting together the way that words tended to when children were crying. He couldn't believe it! That magical artifact salesman had been lying!
-She jumped as he began to wail. She was in shock. A full grown man having a tantrum. She looked over at the other man and shrugged. She began to tug on her hair in confusion. What was she going to do.-
La Cantarella's avatar

Eloquent Lunatic

His crying jag didn't last long. He started to cough again, rather violently. Before he could even pull out his handkerchief again, he fainted dead away.
-She watched as he began to cough then jumped to catch him as he began to fall. She pulled him gently onto the floor and rolled him so he was pretty much facing the ground. Rubbing his back and patting it gently she called to him.-

"Thresh? Thresh.... wake up."
La Cantarella's avatar

Eloquent Lunatic

In a few minutes, Thresh groaned. Thresh was actually a bit shorter than Raelyn; he stood only at about five-foot-nine, five-ten if he would stop slouching, and he weighed next to nothing. As he lay there, his skin lost its ruddiness and his hair faded to an absurd orange-red. But he was certainly alive by the way his heart beat strongly and he breathed heavily. He said something but since he was face-down, it was muffled.
-She rolled him back towards her and rubbed his cheek. She didn't care about his sudden change in appearance. She just wanted him to be okay. She stopped rubbing his cheek and went to running a hand through his hair. She also pulled his head into her lap.-
La Cantarella's avatar

Eloquent Lunatic

Thresh's face seemed haggard. Bags had formed under his large eyes; his lips had thinned and were pale. But that didn't stop him from blushing furiously when this beautiful vampiress began to caress him. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He couldn't help it! He's never even lain with a woman before, let alone been fondled by one! But all the same, he didn't struggle. After all, it wasn't like he could in his state. He gibbered, flustered.

"W-what are ye doing, m'lady?"
-She stopped the second he began to move. She smiled at him then laid his head down onto the ground she patted his cheek softly and then stood up.-

"I was making sure you were alive."
HippiePeach's avatar

Fashionable Raider

Never knowing who would be inside, Peach wandered in with boots caked in mud. She shrugged as she kicked at the doorframe trying to knock off dried mud. "Bloody 'ells... I'll ne'er get back to de seas at dis rate." she grumbled to herself. Her flagship was mired down in mud. Where exactly was more of a different matter. The pirate kicked at the door again.
HippiePeach's avatar

Fashionable Raider

The door seemed to groan as Peach peeled off her boots. "Shush ye varmit." she laughed and kicked off her socks, padding barefoot o'er to the bar. Looking for a bottle of hand cleaner. The pirate mused to herself. How quiet it had become here.

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