Hi kids! Today I will be telling you about my lunch table. I sit at the bottom-left hand corner of the table. Jesse sits to my right, and Mason sits to his right. Ed sits across from me and Danny sits across from Jesse. Ed is a World of Warcrack addict and not much else. He usually talks to Danny or laughs at a flame war. Danny would be a redneck if he didn't play video games and is also on Warcrack. He always tries to continue a joke, even if it's already dead. Every so often, he and Mason go into a flame war where they each say the other has had gay sex with [insert person here], be it Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, or even a giraffe. These wars get both of them nowhere. Constantly I have to yell at them and stop them. Mason, the other side of the flame war, is crazy and often makes good jokes. Also, he swears that the guy living across the street from him is a drug dealer and often Mason takes out his airsoft gun and shoots the guy. rofl Lol. Jesse often flames Danny, but for stuff that Danny is guilty of. He also dislikes Apple and broke his nano just because he hated them. Recently, the jokes flying across the table have involved certain bad people saying "alalalalalalalalalalala" in different ways. My favorite is saying that while pretending to start a lawnmower. Lol again.
Just tonight, as I was walking down the stairs, I thought what I could do to people in the school to fix something I hate about them. First off, masses of people swarm around each other to form large groups that clog the hallway and apparently don't know nor are listening to the people who need to get through. I really want to either pour Draino on their heads or smack them with plungers and yell "Get to class" at them. Second, some of the guys think they are really cool and run around psychotically in a classroom or in the hallways. Idiots. After a fire drill the other day two of them came into the room as if they were Power Rangers or in a SWAT Team or some idiotic crap. Third, after said fire drill, someone was tapping on my shoulder, which I realized it was just to annoy me. Idiot. The second time he tapped my shoulder, I actually hit him by snapping my hand to just behind my shoulder, then I looked. By hitting his hand, I slowed down how fast he could pull back his arm to look innocent. OF COURSE, IT WAS A "POPULAR" KID. Idiot. I read somewhere that if someone's brain grows more than another guy, he produces less testosterone. Basically, Popular guys are idiots and geeks are unpopular. OF FREAKING COURSE. EVEN THEN THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS, LIKE THE FREAKING ENGLISH LANGUAGE. Nature wanted us to be retards because smart people can predict death and diseases, which interfered with the way of life. So we tried to improve it. Big mistake. Everything has its tradeoffs, which apparently resulted in pollution and other crap that will kill us all in the next 200 years. One question: Do you want to learn about space? Chances are you would say yes to that. That's like the Greeks, who saw something in the sky in went "Ooooh, Aaaah.." and named them after their gods. Now let me rephrase that question: Would you like to learn about space if it cost millions of dollars to the people who live under you and make about one-tenth of them homeless when you could be spending the money on starving kids living in Africa, and if you would say yes to that, you do know it would give you so little information that you would have to repeat this crap again and again? If you say yes to that, you have a C average grade, and if you are a jagoff...
You should run for President.
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Jupi's Comedic Rants
Jupi rants about everything he finds wrong with the world. Being emo, that's about everything. Someone that came before us screwed up, and now nothing makes sense.