Over the span of three years, Feynriel wrote to me from the Dalish Camp. He kept me updated on his progress with learning about his abilities and how to best keep the manipulative demons at bay. He could tell that the Keeper was rather proud to teach him, yet the rest of the clan only saw how human he looked. In all the time he spent with them, they still did not trust him; much like they continued not to trust Merrill. During one of my visits with the Dalish apostate, she asked if Carver was happy being a Templar. Much like how she felt out of place in the alienage and Feynriel felt out of place at the Dalish camp, Merrill worried that Carver would feel out of place among the order. Especially when one considered how he knew several mage apostates within Kirkwall and yet did not report them to his superiors. I reassured her that Leandra’s son seemed to be doing well and that we all worried about him. The elf then wanted to reassure me that his joining the Templars was not my fault. He probably would have eventually joined the order even if he went on the Deep Road expedition. I knew it was for the best, but I appreciated her sentiment.
Going back to Feynriel, he primarily felt that I was the only person he could talk to about anything that was going on in his life at that time. I got the feeling his mother, ostracized by her native clan as well for loving a human instead of one of her own, could do little to comfort her son. Yet, there were still things the Feynriel did not have the strength to tell me. One day, I received a letter from his mother Arianni asking me to help her son with the nightmares that had returned. I made sure to bring Merrill, Anders, and Sebastian with me to discuss the problem further with Arianni.
I felt that Anders could use a break from his clinic. One of the times I checked in with him, he expressed the stress he felt concerning the Templars getting far too close to finding him. Not that they were looking for him specifically, but there was an increase in home inspections in Lowtown and Darktown. If anyone was thought to be an ally to a mage, then they were believed to be harboring a fugitive. The raids made it increasingly difficult for Anders to keep Justice under control. There was a part of me that wished I could get him in touch with Wynne, to see if she had any advice considering she was the only other mage I knew who had a similar connection with a spirit.
He had not openly attacked any Templars yet, but Anders made it clear that his and Justice’s patience was running thin.
We approached Arianni at her home in the elven alienage. She was thankful for our arrival and expressed how she could tell that Feynriel was still being plagued by the demons in his dreams. The last time she went to visit him, he flat out refused to see her which was a warning to her that something was very wrong. She then explained that Keeper Marethari had not been able to wake him for over two days, which was a clear indication that he was trapped in a nightmare.
TKeeper had a ritual to help but she would need someone whom Feynriel trusted to aid him. I agreed to help in spite of Sebastian’s warnings about what happened when the Tevinter Magisters of old corrupted the Golden City, turning it black and returning as the darkspawn; thus creating the First Blight. I knew that it was the only way to help Feynriel, and it was not like we physically entering the Fade itself. The Dalish leader warned us of how dangerous the half-elven mage would become if he succumbed to the spirits’ will. If we could not save him, then we would ultimately need to kill him in the Fade itself. Thus cutting off his connection to the Fade and essentially turning him Tranquil. I understood this would be a hard decision to make, one of which Merrill and especially Anders would not understand or take lightly.
Even still, I asked that they join me in the ritual. Sebastian refused to go, saying that it was no place for a man of the Chantry. I knew that Justice would appreciate the chance to return to the Fade, even if it was not permanent. Knowing how the spirits and demons would attempt to mislead and tempt us, I thought it best not to take Isabela along. I knew how Fenris would be least likely to be persuaded by the demons considering his background with mages, which also meant that he likely would not trust Merrill or Anders. I relied on Aveline’s assistance less and less considering how her duties with the guard kept her increasingly busy. So, I asked Varric to join us, as he might gain the most insight from the experience. After all, the dwarves of Thedas generally do not have a connection with the Fade, and thus do not dream of it or have much experience with it. If anything, it would give him a bit more fodder to work with for his novels.
As soon as the ritual was cast and we awoke in the Fade, Justice immediately made himself known. He felt a sense of relief to return to his home realm and warned us of Feynriel’s struggle. He led us through what appeared to be the Templar Hall, which Feynriel feared so much before leaving for the Dalish camp. We were first confronted by a sloth demon named Torpor, who wanted to make a deal on Feynriel’s behalf. Justice, being the benevolent spirit that he was, warned us not to trust the demon. As much as Allure attempted to cloud my judgment when we confronted the Harimann family, I would not let Torpor attempt the same deceit either. He naturally became rather aggressive after our refusal to accept his deal.
Afterward, we were led to Feynriel’s desires, a dream of which his father was loving, doting, and encouraging of the young boy who wished nothing more than to travel at his side. My companions disappeared from my sight as the scene unfolded before my eyes and I came forth in the guise of his mother. Arianni, the woman who raised and nurtured the boy to the best of her ability without the father’s help. I stepped forward and warned that he was simply dreaming, that the man before him was not his father but a demon in disguise. That he had already grown to be such a fine young man without the need for a father figure. The desire demon transformed before the boy’s eyes who was ultimately scared away. She was a tad bit upset over my interference. Thankfully, I was not forced to defend myself against her on my own.
When we came to the scene of Fenyriel’s pride, I took on the form of the First Enchanter Orsino of the Kirkwall Circle of Mages. I watched as Keeper Marethari declared him a respected member of the Dalish clan and that he would lead them into an age of prosperity for the elves. I stepped forward and once again used my powers of persuasion to convince the young mage that it was all a dream. I reminded him of the letters he wrote to me, of how the elves still to this day held nothing more than contempt for him, and that the Keeper was truly a demon in disguise. When the demon lost his control over Feynriel, the young mage ran away while the scene disappeared from our vision. The malicious spirit then turned to Merrill and promised her all the chance of becoming a scion of the elves, granting her unlimited power to help reclaim their former glory. Then and there, she told me that her people came before our companionship. I could not blame her. In the worlds I grew up in, elves were revered and respected, and in Thedas they were nothing more than slaves and lower-class citizens. We were forced to fight each other. Justice fell at her hands, but Varric and I persevered and defeated both Merrill and the pride demon.
After Justice recovered from his injuries, we found Feynriel by himself and desperate to leave the Fade. He called it a world of monsters that were constantly screaming and clawing for power and an escape from the realm. He begged us to kill him so that he would never have to suffer at the hands of the demons’ torments and manipulations. He thought he could handle it with the help of the Dalish Keeper, but found that he was too weak, too scared; it was too much for him to handle. We explained that he would be made Tranquil if we killed him right there in the Fade. He said that at first he feared being made Tranquil when he was younger, but then and there it sounded like the kindest relief he could ever imagine. I agreed to his request.
Arianna could not believe what I had done, she refused to accept it. Even as Anders defended my decision to help her son become Tranquil, the elven mother could not be convinced that it was her son’s choice. Keeper Marethari did not seem all that surprised to learn that Merrill woke from the ritual before us, who apologized for betraying us. The Keeper then gave me a book written by the last known Dalish Dreamer to endure and survive the power he had been granted; the Tome of Slumbering Elders.
A few days later, I would accept an invitation to visit Merrill in her abode in the alienage. She had spent the time distraught over the choices that she had made in the Fade; especially her betrayal of me. She apologized profusely and understood if I so chose to dismiss her friendship. I told her that I would have no friends at all if I could not forgive anyone who so happened to stab me in the back in a dream. Not that I dreamt of a lot of people doing so. Thankfully most dreams outside of Thedas did not hold many dire consequences. Thankful for my forgiveness, Merrill promised not to let the blood magic suey her loyalties like the demon had. Sometime later, as the three of us were shopping in the Lowtown market, Merrill would tell Anders about a litter of kittens that were just old enough for adoption. She suggested that he might appreciate a new little companion. The elf did her best to make amends with all of her friends then.
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Character Storage of Adventures
This journal comprises of the trials and tribulations of my characters as I played them through a number of different video games.
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