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a-disgruntled-dragon


PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 5:29 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Captain Jarosite / Merric Holinger
Reason for Revision: I decided that his blades really didn't need to be able to hack off limbs. So I've decided to dull them down, but add a minor magic effect to them. Also, given he's finally at Captain stage, I feel like its a good time to edit these. :3

Quote:

Capt.: A pair of daggers, with whatever design was on the picks. These hurt more, and do more than scratch.

General: Twin swords/scimtars. Now these are weapons to fight with.

to
Quote:

Capt. : A pair of daggers. While sharp enough to draw blood and do minor cuts, they don't do much else. When they hit, they release a small bass beat, numbing a four inch area around the point of impact for 10 seconds.

General: Twin long swords. The bass beat these admit numb the entire limb between two joints (so between from a wrist to an elbow, or a hip to a knee) for 10 seconds as well.

With both of these, the beat does not descriminate between factions. If you accidentally get caught with one of these and you're on his side, it still affects you.
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:14 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Chromite / Genevieve Ame
Reason for Revision: Her weapons don't fit within the shop rules and really don't fit with her style of fighting.

Quote:

Her original weapon set up was going from marshmallow shooter, to rifle, to napalm-like sugar RPG. That is ridiculous.

to
Quote:

Captain weapon: Twin butterfly knives. They're only magic will be a particuarly keen edge like that of a professionally sharpened blade, and Chromite is not trained or proficient in their use. They'll be something she grows used to and has to practice in. Forcing her to become a more effective fighter.
Appearance is CC. I'm cool with whatever.

General weapon: Assassin's Creed style hidden wrist blades she can slide out and use at will. Their magic is that she can slide them out and back in quickly without the use of a trigger or mechanism and they keep the sharpness of their past stage. Basically they're really sharp and nasty on their own. They don't need much bolstering.
Appearance wise their intricacy and style will be up to the colorist.


My thought progression with this is that so far Chromite doesn't use her marshmallow shooter as a gun in any capacity, she uses it as a shiv. Oftentimes her use of her weapon is dependent on whether or not she can break it on something to get the sharp edge of the plastic. This seems like a fitting transition with that in mind.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:59 pm


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Sailor Eos/Selena Adams
Reason for Revision: I've been on hiatus, and explained this with an absence for Selena also. Now returning to Destiny City 2 years later she's changed a fair bit, so I rewrote her profile to match this (only profile has been rewritten so far, not situation). I also fiddled with her attacks a little (haven't changed her sailor scout one as has already been used!) and just want to check her new super one is a-ok!
Link to Old Profile: here!
Link to Revised Profile: here!


Approved
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 6:20 pm


the_scowling_cat
MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Captain Jarosite / Merric Holinger
Reason for Revision: I decided that his blades really didn't need to be able to hack off limbs. So I've decided to dull them down, but add a minor magic effect to them. Also, given he's finally at Captain stage, I feel like its a good time to edit these. :3

Quote:

Capt.: A pair of daggers, with whatever design was on the picks. These hurt more, and do more than scratch.

General: Twin swords/scimtars. Now these are weapons to fight with.

to
Quote:

Capt. : A pair of daggers. While sharp enough to draw blood and do minor cuts, they don't do much else. When they hit, they release a small bass beat, numbing a four inch area around the point of impact for 10 seconds.

General: Twin long swords. The bass beat these admit numb the entire limb between two joints (so between from a wrist to an elbow, or a hip to a knee) for 10 seconds as well.

With both of these, the beat does not descriminate between factions. If you accidentally get caught with one of these and you're on his side, it still affects you.


The Captain weapon is great, but your General weapon has a bit too much going on -- a pair of full-fledged longswords, that also have a magic effect, is pretty overpowered. If you want to keep the strengthened magic enhancement, then you REALLY need to downgrade the blades!


Quote:
MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Chromite / Genevieve Ame
Reason for Revision: Her weapons don't fit within the shop rules and really don't fit with her style of fighting.

Quote:

Her original weapon set up was going from marshmallow shooter, to rifle, to napalm-like sugar RPG. That is ridiculous.

to
Quote:

Captain weapon: Twin butterfly knives. They're only magic will be a particuarly keen edge like that of a professionally sharpened blade, and Chromite is not trained or proficient in their use. They'll be something she grows used to and has to practice in. Forcing her to become a more effective fighter.
Appearance is CC. I'm cool with whatever.

General weapon: Assassin's Creed style hidden wrist blades she can slide out and use at will. Their magic is that she can slide them out and back in quickly without the use of a trigger or mechanism and they keep the sharpness of their past stage. Basically they're really sharp and nasty on their own. They don't need much bolstering.
Appearance wise their intricacy and style will be up to the colorist.


My thought progression with this is that so far Chromite doesn't use her marshmallow shooter as a gun in any capacity, she uses it as a shiv. Oftentimes her use of her weapon is dependent on whether or not she can break it on something to get the sharp edge of the plastic. This seems like a fitting transition with that in mind.


You need a bit more of a logical progression from Lt. to Captain, which I understand is a bit difficult, but necessary because when you promote you don't get a whole new weapon -- your old one transforms into the new one. This a bit strange to describe, but what if for the Captain stage the marshmallow gun separated into two pieces (defined by the two handles), and the scope / muzzle parts were replaced with blades? HERE IS A CRUDE DRAWING TO EXPLAIN.

The actual blades would have to be incapable of causing insta-deadly damage though, for obvious reasons.

cibarium

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:41 am


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Chromite / Genevieve Ame
Reason for Revision: Her weapons don't fit within the shop rules and really don't fit with her style of fighting.

Quote:

Her original weapon set up was going from marshmallow shooter, to rifle, to napalm-like sugar RPG. That is ridiculous.

to
Quote:

Captain weapon: The marshmallow shooter splits into two separate pieces, with the scope and barrel of the weapons becoming something like miniature bladed tonfas with one being even smaller than the other(the difference being the size of blades between a large meat cleaver and a small hunting knife. Holding the weapons by what was once the handle and trigger handle of the gun, she can use the blades to slash at her opponents while still freeing up her fists to punch at people as well. The blades are dull, like poorly taken care of kitchen knives. Once a battle Genevieve can use the trigger on the handle of the smaller blade and elongate it to match it's counterpart to give her slightly longer range with both blades.
Appearance is CC. I'm cool with whatever.

General weapon: Assassin's Creed style hidden wrist blades she can slide out and use at will. The hidden blades are sharper than their previous stage but are still very unable to do killing damage with one hit. Twice a battle, Genevieve can elongate the blades to twice their length to give her better reach. Basically they're sharp and nasty on their own. They don't need much bolstering.
Appearance wise their intricacy and style will be up to the colorist.


My thought progression with this is that so far Chromite doesn't use her marshmallow shooter as a gun in any capacity, she uses it as a shiv. Oftentimes her use of her weapon is dependent on whether or not she can break it on something to get the sharp edge of the plastic. This seems like a fitting transition with that in mind.
The biggest thing I want to get across is that her weapon will always be more like back-up to her preferred method of beating people's faces in with her fists. A way for her to wear down senshi and knights enough that she can have the satisfaction of taking them down with her hands.

Also - I changed the magic of the weapons a bit. Just a little bit of length augmentation.

((Ah, thank you Mouse.))


APPROVED
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 12:34 am


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Akio Yoshida
Reason for Revision: New ownership! Staff said it was a-ok just to basically do a rewrite!
Link to Old Profile: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=18993607
Link to Revised Profile: ]http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=22616563#329375259


APPROVED.

revenant aria


litian

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 12:34 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Sailor Athene
Reason for Revision: I’ve never really liked Athene’s eternal attack – the original one was more of a ‘compromise’ final attack. I’ve since thought up one that I think will work better for him when he finally hits the eternal stage.

Quote:

Eternal Sailor Attack: White Guardian Beads of Dzi – initialise [defensive/ supportive]

For this attack, Eternal Sailor Athene closes his eyes and claps his hands together sharply while drawing on his energy. As Athene slowly draws his hands apart the energy takes the form of a ball of beads that float between his hands. These spiritual beads look different to those used in the previous two attacks. (Think something a little like this: [link] for the new protector beads). On the word ‘initialise’ the ball of beads glow and then rapidly expand (radiating outwards from Athene) to approx 4 - 5 metres forming a sphere round Athene and up to two non-corrupted beings within this radius (sphere kind of looks like a giant bead).

Pros – (a) While within the beads Athene and/or allies will be protected from attacks for about thirty to forty seconds (or 2 posts). (b) Those within the beads can move freely in and out of the barrier.
Cons – (a) Non-corrupted beings will have to leave the sphere if they want to use any attacks themselves. (b) Athene himself must stay within the sphere of beads for the duration of the ‘attack’ as if he leaves then the attack will automatically end. (c) Attack uses a quarter of Athene’s energy so using it will tire him out
Notes – Attack can be used once per battle.

to
Quote:

Eternal Sailor Attack: White Guardian Beads of Dzi – initialise [defensive/ supportive]

For this attack, Eternal Sailor Athene closes his eyes and claps his hands together sharply while drawing on his energy. On the word ‘initialise’ the energy takes the form of beads that will form barriers around up to three non-corrupted beings (if no non-corrupted being is around then the beads will form a barrier around Athene instead). These spiritual beads look different to those used in the previous two attacks. (Think something a little like this: [link] for the new protector beads).

Pros – (a) These new beads will protect allies from magical attacks for about 15 seconds (or 1 post). If protecting Athene then the beads will protect him for about 30 seconds (or 2 posts). (b) Unlike Athene’s previous attacks the beads will move with the ally meaning that they are not trapped in place.
Cons – (a) Attacks cannot be used while within the beads. (b) The beads are not good at protecting from non-magical attacks – any two physical hits are enough to dissolve the beads leaving Athene or the ally open to attack again.
Notes – Attack can be used once per battle.


-- slight edit to make it clear that the 'beads' are created from energy and not summoned --

APPROVED
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:21 pm


Random Artist
MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: General Serandite/ Serah Eos
Reason for Revision: UPDATING FROM TWO YEARS AGO TO CURRENT ONE biggrin
Link to Old Profile: Old one!
Link to Revised Profile: Revision


UPDATED and edited/changed everything mouse told me!

revenant aria


shibrogane

Stellar Lightbringer

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 12:09 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Avalon Squire of Earth
Reason for Revision: Revising her magic to be less… lame/general and more specific/awesome.

Quote:

At squire stage, her weapon is a wand, made of apple wood from the Tree of Avalon. There is a vine motif carved into it. Avalon can now grant a minor strength boost to herself or any ally simply by pointing the wand their way. It lasts for one minute, and affects one person at a time.

When she becomes a knight, the wand becomes a staff, made of apple wood from the Tree of Avalon. In appearance, it is most similar to a wizard's staff, but the crystal at the top is reddish and shaped similarly to an apple. Avalon can now grant a decent strength boost by indicating an ally with her staff. It lasts for one minute, and can affect up to three people at once.

to
Quote:

At squire stage, her weapon is a wand, made of apple wood, cut from the tree which grew from her page stage apple. There is a vine motif carved into it. By pointing her wand in the direction of her target, she can cause an ally to be immune to the next attack they are struck by. This magic is best used when the ally is being directly assaulted while in physical combat and the danger of a death blow is imminent, for the immunity will last only five seconds. It is not meant to be a "perfect" "shield"--only as a stopgap measure to buy time for someone else to get there and protect the ally. She can do this three times a battle, for a total of fifteen seconds. It can be blocked by knocking Avalon's aim off--the magic won't discharge without a target, but she can't cast if she can't point--and it can be rendered useless by ceasing an attack on the target, and letting the (five seconds) of magic expire.

At knight stage, her weapon is a staff, made of gnarled wood. Think of Gandalf the Grey's staff from the Lord of the Rings movies--though hers has a green crystal, rather than a white one. Her magic shifts, as well. By pointing her staff in the direction of her target, she can cause an ally to be immune to the next attack they are struck by. This magic is best used when the ally is being directly assaulted while in physical combat and the danger of a death blow is imminent, for the immunity will last only five seconds. It is not meant to be a "perfect" "shield"--only as a stopgap measure to buy time for someone else to get there. She can do this six times a battle, for a total of thirty seconds. It can be blocked by knocking Avalon's aim off--the magic won't discharge without a target, but she can't cast if she can't point--and it can be rendered useless by ceasing an attack on the target, and letting the (five seconds) of magic expire.


APPROVED, though 'immune' isn't the best word to use as it implies complete and utter MISS. Protected might be better
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:22 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Troy Page of Chronos
Reason for Revision: Not digging the evolution of the weapon so far as its an odd weapon and can be easily out-manuevered, rewriting for something more useful.

Quote:

Squire: Vine Lasso
At this stage, the twig is significantly longer – it has become a vine! It is tied into a lasso with a two-foot diameter hoop, which Troy Squire can use with magic to protect himself and his allies. When Troy Squire swings the lasso in a performative way (think rapid circles with the loop in front of him), the hoop essentially functions as a magical propelling shield that can repel physical and magical attacks away from him. This magical shield effect is confined only to the area inside the hoop, meaning that it this requires great practice, coordination and maneuvering, and enemies can potential maneuver around it. As this slowly channels his energy, he can use this ability for a total forty seconds per battle.

Knight: Super Vine Lasso
The lasso at this stage is remarkably similar, but slightly more detailed, longer and thicker. The hoop is also larger, at a three-foot diameter. He continues to the ability from his Squire stage (however, the hoop shrinks down to its two-foot diameter size in this spell), but Troy Knight can also buff allies by having them pass through the hoop of his lasso. When his allies pass through the hoop (often done by the hoop over his teammates and them stepping out), they are granted protection and resilience to magical or physical attacks for ten seconds. This does not make them invincible, but they are highly resistant to pain and are more impervious to being damaged. This ability can be used three times per battle.

to
Quote:

Squire: Branch
At this stage, the twig is significantly longer, growing into a branch. Troy Squire can smack people with it, but it isn't very thick and too much force can snap it until it is re-summoned. When Troy Squire concentrates on the weapon, a thin layer of bark-armor grows on some areas of his body (shoulder pads, elbow pads, gauntlets, chest plate, groin plate, knee pad, ankle plate of bark). This protects him from some physical attacks and as this channels his energy he can keep it active for up to forty seconds, but his concentration can easily break. He is able to move and attack in this state, but is fatigued and can move at the pace of waddling.

Knight: Branch Staff
At this stage, the branch is even longer, about the size of a staff. Troy Knight can smack people with it effectively. When Troy Squire concentrates on the weapon, a thick layer of bark-armor grows on his body, giving him the appearance of a tree. During this time, everything from his waist down cannot be moved as he is rooted to the ground. Likewise, it is very difficult to knock him over. This protects him from both physical and magical attacks. He can channel this magic for up to twenty seconds, but a magical attack would break his concentration. He can move his body from the waist up, but movement is limited especially without use of his lower half, his swings and punches can be easily avoided.


approved!

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a-disgruntled-dragon


PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 4:42 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Captain Jarosite / Merric Holinger
Reason for Revision: I decided that his blades really didn't need to be able to hack off limbs. So I've decided to dull them down, but add a minor magic effect to them. Also, given he's finally at Captain stage, I feel like its a good time to edit these. :3


Quote:

Capt.: A pair of daggers, with whatever design was on the picks. These hurt more, and do more than scratch.

General: Twin swords/scimtars. Now these are weapons to fight with.

to
Quote:

Capt. : A pair of daggers. While sharp enough to draw blood and do minor cuts, they don't do much else. When they hit, they release a small bass beat, numbing a four inch area around the point of impact for 10 seconds.

General: Two of these [ x ] (they're based on Haseo's twin blades from .HACK// G.U. and Roots) They're two feet long from pummel to end of the blade arch. Each of the 'blades' are giant guitar picks. The bass beat these admit numb the entire limb between two joints (so between from a wrist to an elbow, or a hip to a knee) for 10 seconds as well.

With both of these, the beat does not descriminate between factions. If you accidentally get caught with one of these and you're on his side, it still affects you.


Reposting (finally) with updates to his General weapon per Mouse's suggestion.

Approved
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:50 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Quinn Bennett / Eternal Sailor Leto
Reason for Revision: Her Eternal attack was written up before she was corrupted into teh DMC, I forgot to revise it. >>"


Quote:

Eternal Sailor Attack: [Leto Hidden Ambush]
Leto can now summon the ground around her to raise and become covered in tall grasses. This makes her completely camouflaged and allows her to attack her enemies while they are confused and preoccupied with the new setting & shaking ground. She can now camouflage any other Scouts on her team. This gives the team 30 seconds to get towards their enemy to ambush them unseen. The attack lasts 45 seconds and can only be used once per battle.

to
Quote:

Eternal Sailor Attack: [Leto Hidden Ambush]
Leto can now summon the ground around her to raise and become covered in tall grasses. This makes her completely camouflaged and allows her to attack her enemies while they are confused and preoccupied with the new setting & shaking ground. She can now camouflage any other members of Chaos within a 15ft radius. The attack lasts 45 seconds and can only be used once per battle.


Approved

Sylent Nyte
Crew

Obsessive Lunatic


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Invisible Dabbler

PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:58 am


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Naomi Watts / Sailor Eos, Corrupt Senshi of the Senses
Reason for Revision: Eos has been corrupted! As such she has a new civilian identity and new attacks C: I also included a post detailing the extent of her memory loss.
Link to Old Profile: Selena Adams
Link to Revised Profile: Meet Naomi!


APPROVED
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:21 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Christopher Gallo // Valhalla of Jupiter
Reason for Revision: He... doesn't have a Knight attack. orz;


Quote:
Magic pool is upped by 30 seconds and shared between two attack options.
Attack One: Reversal — Same as his Squire.
Attack Two: Vertigo —Valhalla’s magic causes his opponent to temporarily lose their internal sense of direction. There is no up or down, no left or right. The effect would cause one to feel as though everything around them was spinning, even if they stood stationary. Or even the sensation of falling, despite being on solid ground. Imagine sticking your head at the end of a baseball bat and spinning around several times, and then having to run across a field.
After being released from the attack, an opponent may still feel dizzy, or even nauseous, but like his other attack, the reaction and effect is pretty open to player interpretation.


Approved - Indu


Guine

Crew

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