- I was kissed by a boy....and I liked it.-
Solo
Solo
Little time had passed since the incident and the shifter Takoda was still in a state of shock. There was something about the last couple of days that had the shifter stuck in a state of rerun. , replaying in his mind the conversation that had lead up to his being kissed. Sitting in his own little corner of cave by himself the shifter felt that he needed time to himself. Often re-running that kiss over and over again in his head as if something may of changed with each replay. Fingers touched his lips lightly as if it would help re-create the sensation of the leaf boy, Jacinthus, lips against his own.
It made for a very poor substitute for that was certain.
To be honest, it...had never occurred to him that someone from another tribe could like him, and that it was a man for that matter had blown his mind. Actually having anyone interested in him seem a surprise, he was so timid and weak what would be appealing about that? He could keep belittling himself to the point of calling himself worthless, but never mind someone being interested in him though, what would everyone think? What would his own tribe think?
The shifter lowered his hand from his face, pulling his limbs in close to his body as if to try and keep the warmth in. It was a troubling thought, thinking of him. A thought which bothered him the most as he pondered the bullies, the ones that teased him for his fears of insects... Jacinthus hadn't teased him though, in fact Jacinthus had invited him to live with him in Tale. It had been an offer he had immediately balked at. Why? Why did he hesitate? Why shouldn't he take up Jacinthus's offer? Despite how much he was teased in his home, could he give up the only place he had ever lived?
Worrying was one of those things that tended to wreck special moments like this and Takoda was a persistent worrier.
With a heavy sigh, he removed his arms and hands from the warm and protected spot against his chest, he rubbed his face, perhaps trying to stiffen his fingers, or ease the tension headache he could feel building up in his face from all the strange expressions he was sure he was making. Another deep breath and he had to remind himself to let the air out.
After a moment of deep though he came to a conclusion. Takoda knew, deep down that he could not abandon his home. There were still many things he needed to go over. Takoda almost wished he had some paper and a quill which he could then make a list...though he knew that that particular list would most likely end up becoming scribbled and crossed out a lot. What things he would want to bring with him? Would he leave Zuko there? He doubted the giant insect would survive well in Tale, after all it got too hot and dry there. If that was the case then should he leave his home in someone's care? Perhaps he could ask Enitan or Chalcedony to look after it for him. Thinking of the shield barer made his feelings of elation and worry implode. Right...Chalcedony.
A wince, he could feel that his face twist into a sour and pained expression. Thinking back on how the shifter had reacted upon finding out about the kiss...and even going as far to pick a fight with Jacinthus coming back all bruised...then to find out that not only his good friend had been jealous...he had feelings for him as well. Takoda could still remember the tone of his voice, the expression on his face when he had confessed his own feelings for him. How Takoda had not seen it coming...had not anticipated it...made him feel almost stupid...plus made him feel like he was a terrible friend.
Thinking back before they went on their travels...Chalcedony had stood up for him against the bullies, had taken him to his family introduced him as an equal. Then when they went went into the forest before they traveled to gather fruit and how Chalcedony had caught him after a dizzy spell of his. How they had laid together in the grass until the dizziness had passed. He had always looked after him, protected him...made sure he was okay when he had his dizzy spells after performing magic. How did he NOT see it coming, especially the part where they had laid together in the grass?
Takoda felt his spirits sink into despair. This was how he repaid his friend? By...being oblivious to his feelings...casting him aside...not to mention how he had reacted when confronted about Chalcedony's feelings and Takoda had burst into tears and undoubtedly had made the shield bearer feel..just terrible and guilty.
After the way he had acted, Takoda wondered if he deserved anyone's affections especially after the way he handled Chalcedony.
Takoda could feel the tears gathering in his eyes and he had to force his eyes closed to stop himself from crying again. No he couldn't possibly just wallow in self pity and hatred could he? Takoda wouldn't be making anyone happy if he did so. In fact he would just make everyone feel bad about him...and since they were to start traveling for Tale soon he didn't want to be the one causing a rift between everyone.
Traveling to Tale.....just thinking about it caused his throat to go into his throat, he was terrified of it. Worried about how should he act, should they be all cuddly? A vision of the archer's hammer wielding sister made him recoil. Okay maybe they won't be all cutesy out in the open. Never having been in a relationship he had no idea what was expected of him either. Would Jacinthus want to kiss all the time? Would..he...just accept that he was timid in this area? That it was just still too new for him? Thinking of the constant glare's he would most likely receive from his sister...made him groan.
Uhhg...right he almost forgot about the girl. Watching his small fire he shifted and leaned his back against the uncomfortable rock wall. The girl was Jacinthus's sister, Keilana. And he remembered her...and she remembered him. They had met once a long time ago..and the meeting had not gone well. He remembered that large branch she had threatened him with and he still couldn't figure out WHY she had reacted so badly to his suggestions about being careful. But now he was going to be forced to travel with her and Jacinthus back to Tale.
It was going to be a long and uncomfortable trip back home he was positive.
Taking a deep breath he wasn't going to get any rest if he sat up all night long worrying about things he couldn't prevent. He needed to gather his things and prepare for departing in the morning and he if didn't get any sleep then he would only slow them down...and probably make the girl even more irritable. Takoda shifted and tried to force himself into moving, his limbs however were stiff from sitting prone for so long. Once up he stretched himself all over trying not to yawn as he did so and then looked to the ground around him. Takoda really didn't have much to travel back with. A few rations, the cloak he had traded his healing skills for and then his book. He hadn't exactly picked up a lot of things on his journey, even if other people may of. He wondered if he was suppose to just cherish the memories he had gathered, as well the many friends and encounters he had met.
Takoda was sad to realize that he would have to say goodbye to those new friends he had picked up. It was...sad he wondered if he would ever see some of them again. The shifter though assumed he could always make the trip back to visit sometime. No one said he wasn't allowed to travel again once he got home now did they? Still...it was a shame, he wondered if he would get a chance to meet up and say goodbye to others that he hadn't seen in a while. Even if he didn't though though he would remember the experience for perhaps the rest of his life.
A small smile finally crossed the shifter's face. Yes he would remember them and try and use the memories to help him in the future. Takoda would try and not let himself despair too much about things, he would deal with Chalcedony when it came to it and try to get along with Jacinthus's sister as well.
FIN ~ Word Count: 1524
