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Did he make a choice when he signed up for fighting evil? He supposed he did sign up, and it had been a choice. He’d made a mistake. Uncalculated, Max had unwittingly been pulled into a magical war that was unlike anything he had ever thought possible. He didn’t want to involve himself yet every day he found his paranoia growing. Found it getting worse. His therapist had put on a higher dose of anti-anxiety medication as a result, which was bad enough, but compounded with the fact that he knew his social anxiety was worse than before?
How was he supposed to fight with a skull? Let alone, when he wasn’t even stronger than the majority of people fighting? Max wasn’t built to fight. He was made to read, to play chess. He was the local reject on his home block. The kid that was homeschooled because of his problems. Because he wasn’t nice or kind or sociable. His mom said he was just special.
Most days, Max thought it was code for ‘reclusive’. He knew he was, and had done enough googling to know that so long as he avoided, he’d never acclimate, never get better. Sure, he could power up, but for the most part, he didn’t know who to go to. How to help. Who to trust and try to make friends with.
Overall, Max just worried he’d never really fit in. He didn’t fit in with peers at school, (heck, he didn’t like them either so it was of no great loss), he didn’t fit it with the kids who grew up on the same street as him, (they were loud and messy and prone to hurting themselves and others so like his peers Max saw no loss of opportunity there), he didn’t fit in with his family, (his loud, very affectionate family).
And now as he found himself in a new group, he found that he was not fitting in there too. Knights, whatever they were, didn’t seem to care for him or his ideas. They were all so ready to purify that code and really- Max understood why it was upset with them. They were supposed to protect it, but they messed that up.
He messed up, and he hadn’t even known that he had. A ‘page’ he was weak, and when he looked at the others, braver, stronger, Max was very sure that whatever had given the name ‘Paris’ had been mistaken. He was not a hero. Not kind or smart or strong or.. Anything. He was just Max. Weak, feeble, problematic Max who had nothing but the solace of wikipedia and hours spent behind a screen coding.
He didn’t belong with the knights. Heck, we was pretty sure the negaverse wouldn’t take a guy like him either. He didn’t want to fight for ‘order’ or ‘chaos’ or anyone. He just wanted to be left alone. But Paris had a job. Paris was a knight as was supposed to be that person. Max never asked to be anyone. He had wanted to be noticed once upon a time, but not like this.
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