Personality: In stereotypical Zenan form, Ergon was taught early on that the Zenan people were the ‘cream of the crop’ of the Tendaji people, and he believes every word. This young man thinks quite highly of himself and his race. While still quite biased against any race outside of Zenan, his tolerance is improving as he is further exposed to the surrounding world.
His confident nature gives him a well of willpower and fortitude. He loves to challenge himself to do better, get stronger, and beat the odds. This helps him stay buoyant in the face of adversity and steadfast in what others might find tedious. When he sets his mind on something, he sticks to it until the results come in.
Due to the situation with his mother, Ergon learned early to take care of himself and contribute to the family. He did most of the lead chores around the house, such as preparing meals and shopping at the market. Rather than feeling loathing against his situation, he usually took great pride in being 'head' of the house. Now that he is moved out and living with his wife and children, he is continuing to use those skills at home. .
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2020 3:41 pm
Starting History:
Ergon was born first of twin boys to a rich Zenan couple. He and his brother, Kaygon, were seen as gifts from the gods by their family. Snowelle and Grashni wed when they were quite young through an arranged marriage. Initially, their attempts to grow their family were unsuccessful. As the years passed, the strain wore down the couple. Finally, Snowelle found out she was pregnant. When the twins were born, the couple latched onto parenthood with all of their being.
Ergon and Kaygon were both healthy and rambunctious baby boys. They learned quickly, ran soon after learning to walk, and chattered non-stop after learning to talk. The boys had a healthy and competitive rivalry, constantly pushing each other to do better. They did nearly everything together. They laughed, fought, played, and chased parak through the woods together.
Then there was a sudden and devastating change to their lives.
They were going on a family trip, taking advantage of the lovely, sunny day. It was the day the boys were learning how to skate on the ice. As with anything, both boys took on the lessons like every challenge they faced. They competed to see who could stand upright first, who could stay upright the longest, and, of course, who could go the fastest.
A faint form under the ice was Snowelle’s only warning that something was about to happen. A gorogorum hole had only a thin layer of ice over it, and its hungry crafter lingered underneath. Snowelle fell through the fragile layer, taking Kaygon with her into the freezing water. Eragon watched his mother and brother vanish in the blink of an eye. Their screams seemed to emit from the bubbles that surged along the surface. Ergon started to run for the hole, but being on the skates had him falling over in his struggle to reach his loved ones, heart racing as the strange, scary feeling of helplessness washed over him. Grashni reached the hole first, arm thrust into the water. Ergon reached them as his mother was pulled out. Snowelle’s hand that had been holding Kaygon was torn by the gorogorum’s sharp teeth, and Ergon saw the expression of overwhelmed shock on his mother’s face as she looked at it. ..Kaygon was lost.
Now, each family member is dealing with the loss in his or her own way. Grashni has turned his focus to his work for distraction and the empty satisfaction of wealth. The man tries to be a father for his remaining son, but the pain is still raw. Snowelle hides in the house, devastated and blaming herself, barely able to fix a meal for even herself. Guilt unconsciously drives her to avoid her living son. Ergon has shoved his pain deep inside himself, and seeks to take care of what remains. He doesn’t blame his mother for Kaygon’s death, and tries desperately to get the attention he is now lacking. While at home, that means making dinner and doing the laundry. While outside of the house, he continues to compete with anyone in any way he can.
If anything.. it is Kaygon he blames; for being “weak” enough to be taken. It’s easier for him to take his sadness and turn it into a driving force. Every so often, his mother will call him by his brother’s name. This is a point of frustration and sadness; a reminder of the cause of his family’s pain. He seeks to always get better, and healing from the pain is a slow trial.
Posted: Sat May 02, 2020 3:44 pm
Relationships:
Iriyana- Wife <3 Reaghan- Son (Identical twin) Eirex- Son (Identical twin)
Grashni- Father. Hard working, focused, on the stoic side. -npc- Snowelle- Mother. Suffers severe depression with her lucid moments few and far between -npc- Kaygon- Twin brother. Deceased -npc- Sylvirah- Half-sister through Grashni Ziya- Nephew (Sylvirah) Yngvara- Niece (Syvirah) Revna- Niece (Syvirah) Silfi- Niece (Syvirah) Rhidian- Nephew (Sylvirah) Rhiannon- Niece (Syvirah)
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2020 3:46 pm
RP Log:
Stage 4; Melee Hunter X A day off - W/Iriyana *5points
Stage 3; Spearman: X [WE] Tendaji Treats - W/Sylvirah *5points X Glittering Futures - W/Iriyana *10points X Uncle's Favorite - W/Yngvara *5points X Struggling for a Future - W/Iriyana *10points X Secret Revealed - W/Iriyana *5points X Family Bonds - W/Yngvara *5points X Flight Lessons - WSylvirah,Yngvara,Eirex *5points X An Outing - W/Iryana,Reaghan,Eirex *15 points X Time to Chill - W/Yngvara *5points Stage 2; Lancer: X Room For Two - W/Amalric *10points X Special Delivery - W/Iriyana *10points X [WE] Solo Entry *5points X [WE] Strange Weather - W/Iriyana *5points X When the Bough Breaks - W/Sylvirah *5points X Water is Thicker than Blood - W/Sylvirah *5points X Honey I'm Home - W/Iriyana *10points Converted battles: X *2points X *2points X *2points X *2points X *2points Prentice: X Impressions of the first kind - W/Iriyana *Complete *5points X Taking it easy - W/Iriyana,Hulis *5points X Awkward apology - W/Iriyana *Complete *5points X The Third First Date - W/Iriyana *10points X (WE) Creepy Crawlers - W/ Amalric *5points Youngling: X Strange Place To Be - W/Myrida *Complete *5points X No longer the same - W/Tryston *Complete *5points X No Touchy - W/Hargitt *Complete *5points
Posted: Sat May 02, 2020 3:51 pm
Growing Reqs:
Legendary 50 points
Stage 2/3 Growth Form
Character Name:Ergon Class Promotion: Melee Hunter Current Location: Zena Journal:X Growth Point Links: X *5points X *10points X *5points X *10points X *5points X *5points X *5points X *15points X *5points X 10 Solo points Growth Blurb: While Ergon keeps his regal and self-assured air, any interactions with him make it clear how much he has relaxed over the years to be not such a stick in the mud. He married the love of his life and they've had two lovely boys together. He has also gone through the struggle of accepting the illegitimate side of his family and has come out happier and contented.
Physical Description: Love his hair as is A darker tint to his skin along the tips/edges of his ears from frostbite damage Outfit1Outfit2 New outfit in Zenan colors inspired by these two images. Definitely wanting the cloak from O1 and the boots from O2.
Ergon paced the back office of the business, impatiently waiting for his shift to end or for the delivery to arrive; whichever came first. He had finally extended his shifts back to full time just recently. While things were not exactly comfortable between him and his father, he could manage to keep himself cordial and cooperative for the sake of work. He hadn’t forgiven his father for the betrayal, and he wasn’t sure if he ever would. After some time and discussion though, he decided that a truce needed to be made. He needed to move on.
He had good reason to move on.
The bell announced someone entering the business, and he hurried out to the lobby.
A young woman stood there with a little smile and set a small box on the counter. “Here you go. Now, just let me know if you are certain you wouldn’t like something with a little more sparkle.”
Ergon let out a slow breath before opening the box and gently pulling out the prize, a smirk rising as well. “As much as I would like to.. the one this is for is not really the sparkle type.” He held the thin metal band up to the light to make sure every part of it shimmered; a single stone of golden color set into the silver ring. Well, a little sparkle would surely be acceptable. He gave the woman the payment and waved her off. “That will be all. Thank you.”
Looking over the ring made his heart swell. The ring itself was lovely, but the meaning behind it meant so much more. It was being ready to move ahead. It was determination. It was devotion. It was love.
For a while there, Ergon had wondered how his life was going to move on from the apparent disaster that he had been thrust into. Finding out about his father’s infidelity had been a blow to his heart and his very being, and that it had resulted in an estranged sibling only made it worse. It went against everything Grashni had taught and exemplified. He’d had to watch his mother’s pain during her lucid moments after learning the truth, and then her desperate attempt to fit the situation to the perfect world in her mind by claiming the illegitimate daughter as her own. The town had taken to whispering about his family, and the murmured doubts about his moral code fluttered around as well. Would it be ‘like father, like son?’
The world had turned upside down on him.
Then Iriyana had returned home, and reminded him about what mattered most. Grashni’s actions had soiled only the image of Grashni. His mother.. that was not a situation he could truly do anything about. His own image to himself was what counted during these times. Riya knew that the family image was important, but also knew that it was only part of the story. Ergon’s story was his own.
The world was messy, but he did not need to let it drag him down. Just like when his brother had died, and when he had first accepted that there would be no full recovery for his mother, a pillar of the ideal life he’d been encouraged to achieve was brought down. He had somehow persevered through both of those tragedies, and he would do the same with this.
(( Word count: 563 ))
Conclusion: Ergon has almost always viewed the world through the high society lens of social acceptance. Everything was about keeping up appearances and pride in the eyes of his peers. While his desire for proper social acceptance is by no means gone, he has learned that it is not what should be central in his mind. He has summoned up the courage and the clarity to move beyond the social disaster his father had created for the family.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2022 8:34 pm
Spearman – Journal entry 1 Melting Glaciers
The Zenan summer was cool compared to the rest of Tendaji, but Ergon had gone down to his undershirt with how hot he was getting. The day was a quiet one, Riya visiting family with the boys, so he was taking some time for himself. He had found it after clearing some room for the babies, wrapped carefully but covered in a layer of dust. It had been a long time since he had done any training with it. Far too long, it seemed. The spear spun in his hands, feeling clunky and strange. Muscle memory was slowly kicking in though, the spear moving smoother with each passing minute. It felt good to throw the tool around again.
It just felt good to have some space to get rid of his energy, really. The man had felt the strain and pent up emotions making his skin crawl ever since the complete and utter disaster of his niece meeting his sane mother. Busy with two new babies, he had been able to pass the time by focusing on the arriving birth and learning to care for twins.
Not long after the encounter, once his niece was headed back home, he had gone back to make sure his mother was okay.
—
He had knocked hesitantly at the door. Would Snowelle be mad? Would she even remember?
Enua pulled the door open and sighed sadly. “Oh, Ergon, you missed it. Your mother had the clearest mind two mornings ago. I sent for you while I was out on errands, but you were not home. I apologize for not trying again, but it was over by the time I returned from errands and felt so guilty that I was unable to get you in time.” She sighed again, but allowed a lighter smile to rise. “Ah, but she was in such a good mood when she was clear. Come, she’s having tea by the fire right now.”
Ergon walked stiffly after the nurse as they headed to the sitting room. Maybe he would tell Enua what had happened, and that he had indeed been able to visit Snowelle briefly during that lucid moment.. Honestly, he was afraid to. He stepped into the sitting room, watching his mother knitting a scarf. “Mother?”
Snowelle looked up, her gaze as distant as ever. “Oh, Kaygon. Such a good boy to come visit me like this.” She set the cup aside and tried to stand. “If you had given me more notice, I would have had dinner ready for you.”
—
So everything was pretty much normal. After the hateful words and the self-realizations and the betrayal that he had seen on his mother’s face… He and Yngvara were the only ones who would remember it. He would see his mother and remember the pain he had caused her, and he would just have to wait to see if she remembered during her next clear spell. That is, if he hadn’t traumatized her into never having another one.
Dismissing hybrids as lesser was common practice for those pure born of Zena. Ergon himself had been raised with that mindset. Any non-Zenans were an inconvenient necessity, but iceling hybrids were a mockery of the blood. He could remember being surrounded by those lessons in his youth. Oh, it had certainly shown in his youth, too. Things had changed after his twin had died though. His father had been too busy with work to continue teaching such lessons, and his mother was too adrift in her own mind to speak ill of anyone. After that, his foreigner encounters were nearly all business encounters. He’d had to play nice for the sake of professionalism. He had met Iriyana, who had hybrids in her family. He had grown and changed with his own experiences. Somewhere along the way, the Zenan superiority complex had lessened.
Zenans were still the best, of course. Yet, the others… they weren’t as lowly as he had been taught to believe. He wasn’t sure when exactly he had strayed away from the blind pride he’d once been taught, but he had definitely strayed; and there was no going back.
Still, the encounter continued to haunt him. The utter confusion and pain on Snowelle’s face when he had risen to his niece’s defense was heartbreaking. He couldn’t help the guilt in his heart.. but any betrayal Snowelle felt was echoed in his mind as well. While he had never been particularly warm toward his niece or nephew, there had always been quiet acceptance. He could not remember hearing his mother speak with such venom and disregard before. As a youngling, he had not been exposed to the visible hatred and contempt Snowelle held for others who were unlike herself. The lessons had been taught, but nothing by example aside from the attitude. He had grown up with a weak but loving mother whose full attention had always been on her family, living or otherwise. It hadn’t been easy, but he couldn’t help wondering.. Would he be saying such things now if his brother had survived that evening? Would he have given anyone half a chance? Could he even have let Riya into his heart?
Ergon blinked slowly, eyes shifting around the training grounds. At some point, he had stopped practicing and was just standing there blankly, trying hard to keep the tears from falling. If he had grown up with the “normal” life that he had wished for, he would have turned out completely different. He really did not like the idea of the person he would have grown into. There was still a lot of emotional debris to go through, but he knew he would persevere. For the sake of his family, his sons, his whole family, he would persevere.
(( word count: 961 ))
Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2023 11:41 am
Spearman – Journal entry 2 It's Okay
Understanding always came clearest after the fact. One could look back and see why something had happened. They could see what actions had caused what effects. They could see the right choices they had made, and the wrong ones. They could hyperfocus on where they had fallen short in their endeavors…
Reaghan was alive… but Ergon’s attention was on the mistakes he had made. He was angry with himself. Why hadn’t he been faster? He should have been able to grab Reaghan without having to jump in himself. Why hadn’t he been stronger? The moment he’d gotten his hands on Reaghan, he should have been able to break through the ice without delay. Why hadn’t he been tougher? He could have made it to town, surely! He could have easily avoided the frostbite damage that lingered on his ears and fingers. If he had just been better, Reaghan wouldn’t be so prone to illness now.
He had panicked. Maybe not obviously to anyone else, but he knew that was it. Seeing his son fall through the ice had sent his brain into rescue mode, focused on saving his child. In the background though, it had also brought old, buried memories that he had contentedly repressed back up to the surface.
Both his mother and his twin had fallen through the ice, but only his mother had returned. The screams that had eerily risen through the water made him colder than any bite of the wind could have. The utter horror on his parents’ faces before his own body had gone numb with confusion and disbelief. Vague images through the fog that covered the days and months following that terrible day.
Those thoughts had made him unable to think clearly. All he wanted was to get Reaghan to the doctor. His own body had been cold and stiff already. In the moment, the best option in his mind had been to send Riya alone with the boys. Alone!
What sort of man was he?
The moment he was cleared of the pneumonia and the frostbite, he had gone straight back to work. Shame made him keep longer hours than usual, along with a reluctance to fall asleep. In his nightmares, memories of his childhood trauma and the recent incident blended together. He never woke up feeling rested anymore. Part of him knew it wasn’t the right way to be.. But there was enough for Riya to worry about without adding his problems, his weakness, to the equation.
That was how he ended up being the only one at the shop far too late after hours one evening. He was bent over a ledger working on some numbers when he heard the bell of the front door. “We’re closed,” he called without looking up.
“Good thing I am not here to trade.” Grashni locked the shop door and grabbed a chair to pull over to Ergon’s desk. “You are here rather late. I don’t recall any business that is currently important enough to keep you away from home like this.”
Ergon’s writing paused briefly at the familiar voice of his father, though he didn’t bother raising his eyes. “There are a few things we were behind on.” He went back to writing, the sound of the scratching pen the only sound for a long minute.
Grashni waited as the silence stretched out before he sighed heavily. “Ergon, what are you doing? Your family is concerned about you.”
Ergon leaned further over the papers. “I’ve told them not to worry. I’m just working. Actually working.”
The jab at his past misconduct was obvious enough to Grashni. Rather than get upset, he seemed to slump back into his chair a little. “They know that. You know what I mean. This isn’t like you. You never stayed at work this late before without a special reason. Even the boys see what you’re doing. Just.. go home and be with them.”
Ergon’s cheeks flushed, the anger and sadness rolling tumultuously in his chest. “And do what? Sit there reminding them of how inadequate their father is?”
Grashni’s eyes widened. “Reaghan is alive-”
He sat up and hit his fist against the desk. “Yes, but now he has to spend the rest of his life being careful. You’ve heard that cough. If he stresses himself too much and gets sick..” He tried to stop there, but the words kept coming. “I didn’t get him out of the water fast enough. Then I should have been running him to the doctor, but my body didn’t want to move. I made Riya take the boys on her own. She was alone because I wasn’t good enough!” He pointed to the ragged edges of his ears with a growl; a now permanent effect from the damage of frostbite. “Instead, I sat down like some useless pup and waited to be saved. I couldn’t even do that right! I left the fire Eirex had made for me and made it worse. He was scared, Riya was scared, and I just sat down.” He shoved back from the desk and jumped up to hit his fist against the wall. The nearby shelves rattled with the impact and threatened to drop their items. He knew they had suffered just as much, but how could he be there for them after everything? “I froze up. I sat there and got sick so I couldn’t even help take care of Reaghan after. Riya and Eirex had to do it all. Damn it all, I’ve never felt like such a waste of space before!” Even his half-sister, the source of so much confusion in his life, had stepped up to help out while he had been recovering. She had come down from the village she was working so hard to rebuild just to help out… He muffled a surprising sob and leaned his head against the wall to attempt to rein his feelings back in.
The ache in Grashni’s chest was painful as he watched his son vent out his frustrations. It echoed his own memories of the past vividly, but with a few obvious differences. He stood and went to grab another carafe and two glasses from the cabinet. The glassware was set on the desk and golden whiskey was poured for the pair. Grashni took a sip from his own glass before he reached out to place his hand on Ergon’s shoulder. “I get it. Of anyone around here, you know I get it. Unlike you, I let myself get completely lost in my shame…”
Ergon moved reluctantly, eyes lifting to look at his father with an unconscious plea, eager to hear how he hadn’t been the worst with his reactions. It was just another layer of shame to realize who it was he was complaining to. He had nightmares about losing his boys, but his father had actually lived through it. He eyed the glass of whiskey and scooped it up. He downed it with one gulp and hissed sharply. He didn’t drink often, and when he did it was slowly sipped. “It hurts..”
Granshi sighed and squeezed Ergon’s shoulder. “After I finally returned to my senses, I regularly went to the temple to pray for forgiveness… and also that you would not echo your brother’s fate. I wouldn’t have been able to handle losing you as well. When I knew you were serious with Iriyana, I began praying every other day. When you told me you had a child on the way, even before we knew it was twins, I started going to the temple every day. Every single day, I prayed that you would not experience the pain that I have felt ever since that day so long ago.
When I’d heard that you and Reaghan were at the clinic, only hearing that someone said that someone else said that you had fallen through the ice.. I thought I had finally lost you, and that my grandson had been taken as well. I thought the blood of this family was cursed. It was all I could do to be patient and get the news straight from Iriyana herself.” Grashni’s eyes had welled up already, but only now did the tears finally fall. “After I learned that you and Reaghan were okay, I started going to the temple twice a day to thank Chi for sparing your lives. I still do.” He reached out to cup along Ergon’s jaw. “Look at me. Son, you are alive. Reaghan is alive. You are the only one beating yourself up like this. No, it didn’t end perfectly, but you saved him. You and Iriyana and Eirex all worked together to save him. You cannot look at that and think you did anything less than extraordinarily.”
Ergon felt the tears falling and grit his teeth hard before he dropped his head and leaned against his father’s shoulder. Of all the people in his life, why was it his father’s words were suddenly giving him so much comfort? Why was this man the one he fell apart in front of? He felt the arms wrap around him and the well fully broke open. All the fear and anger rushed out in wracking sobs. The embrace was everything he had wanted as a youngling after Kaygon’s death. An acknowledgement to the pain they had both experienced, and now support for the trials of the present.
It was another hour of talking before he and his father left the shop. Everything had come up from Kaygon to Snowelle to Sylvirah and more. It had been the most liberating engagement.. He knew it would still be some time before he felt normal again, but the wounds both old and new were healing properly for the first time. He was going home to hold his family in his arms now. It was clear now. No matter what, they would know they had him for anything they needed. He would never abandon them.
(( word count: 1651 ))
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 7:29 pm
Spearman – Journal entry 3 Closer Each Day
It was said that time heals all wounds. Ergon didn’t find that to be right at all. Time numbed the pain; but it took so much more than waiting for healing to happen. Healing took effort. Like the skin working to close a wound, the mind had to work to knit the damage left by mental traumas. Sometimes, a trauma will never fully heal. Sometimes, the bandage would fall off and pain would ooze out of a half-knitted wound when one least expected it to.
Days, months, years, even decades could pass… There was no set timeline for the process. Sometimes, just one wrong trick of the eyes or a single scent could rip open the bandage of time and expose the wound to the merciless prodding of memories and reignite the traumas as though the damage was being done anew.
Ergon still woke from nightmares. Deep wells of memories blended together while he slept, the cracking of ice echoed through crisp cold air, eyes filled with the ache of betrayal bored into his heart, screams of fear slammed against his eardrums, a dark and endless pit from which he heard his boys crying, Reaghan’s coughing behind a heavy door that he couldn’t get through getting weaker and weaker... He would wake up coated in a fearful sweat, and it would be a long hour before he could get back to sleep, if at all. On those nights, he couldn’t help wondering if the nightmares would ever go away.
Then.. then he would wake up on other mornings feeling refreshed and rested. Dreams of Iryana’s loving embrace, the laughter of his sons and their cousins, the indecipherable but affectionate muttering of his sister, a liberating discussion with his father, the brief but radiant smile of his niece after a tender moment… It was becoming more and more frequent that he woke up appreciating that his eyes had opened to another morning.
His life had taken some rough and unexpected twists. Some people had it better than he did, and others had it worse, but that wasn’t the point of healing. It wasn’t about everyone else and their expectations for him. Of course he didn’t like that he was still scared and that he still worried. He didn’t like admitting that those wounds had never “fully” healed. Yet, with time and effort, the scars were getting sturdier and heartier. It took more than a rough brush to peel away the bandages and the scars to expose the raw flesh underneath.
Time would keep moving forward no matter what he did. He had decided a while ago that he would keep going forward for the sake of his family. It had been a struggle, but he could finally see and feel the fruits of his labors. When he looked at Reaghan and could smile instead of only feeling the spike of guilt; that was healing. When he could visit his parents and appreciate what time he had with them instead of aching with bitterness; that was healing. When he could look at his half-sister and his nieces and nephews and see them as family rather than as a source of embarrassment; that was healing.
When he could look in the mirror and not hate the face looking back at him… That was healing.
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