Suicide

• Artist: midnight wishing star
• Description: Um it kinda explains itself...girl get sad...girl commits suicide...girl dies
• Date: 02/28/2009
• Tags: suicidedeathdieblood

My vision goes
My blood flows
I breath then sigh
As i slowly die
It hurts and stings
An angel sings
I see a light
Shining bright
I close my eyes
As my heart dies
I start to dream
As it may seem
I start to cry
And then i die

Comments

[mihayle]

Not to bad considering I'm not a fan of rhyming poems, what i would really enjoy seeing is this poem rewritten as free verse, without the whole strain of making everything rhyme and there being a bit more 'meat' to the poem.

[Fo-eights Beach Fo-eights]

You get a point for rhyme and rhythm, but the poem itself is bland, cliche and unimaginative