• “Hi, I am Zaria. Well, that’s my codename; we all have one in the guild. We don’t use real names because you could get cursed if They know your full name. If it’s one of Their higher ups, then Them knowing your first name can get you killed. If not killed, paralyzed or disfigured… usually the curses are worse: death is like a merciful freedom compared to what happens to living curse victims. Sometimes, part of the curse is that you can’t you are forced into an eternal existence of mind splitting pain. I actually heard rumors about this one guy, who was cursed with eternity, and then They tore him from limb from limb, even cutting off his head, but he didn’t die, the curse didn’t let him. He’s just hidden in some room at headquarters, since a normal person probably wouldn’t understand a situation like that.
    “Yeah, curses are bad, but that’s why codenames are part of our inventory. We also have machine guns, curses of our own design, (guaranteed to kill, we aren’t sadistic like Them,) we even have some blades in stock, like rapiers, ninja stars, and hand grenades and other stuff. I myself am partial to the bazooka. Mine is about the length of my arm and it works a bit like a machine gun, only when the bullets hit, they explode. It even has a nifty little rocket launching feature I made. I’m crafty like that, I even decorated my bazooka with stickers and paint, and it is pretty cute, actually. What do you mean that there is something wrong with a 15 year old carrying firearm around? If I didn’t carry it, I might be dead, They might figure out where I live and come after me. Carrying a weapon of choice (Or not, just has to be classified as a weapon) is protocol in the Guild.
    “What’s the Guild? Well, a guild is places where people with similar jobs and interests hang out together and help each other out. It’s like a club, only more insider-y. Oh, you meant what kind of guild! Well, you already know about us, so I guess I can tell you. We are G.O.D, Guild of Demons; we hunt down demons and eliminate them. We have this computer system set up with all the different kind of demons that have been apprehended and dealt with in case we find another demon of the, um, same species. We aren’t really sure if there are different species of demons, we never let Them live long enough to ask. Not that it would have made any difference, I mean, all we need to know is how to kill them, not if some demon is a different species then another just because one’s horns curl the opposite direction than another.
    “Part of the system is that we should kill on sight. Yeah, if it were animals or people we were hunting, I would feel pretty guilty, but when it’s demons, you need to make the first move. If They get the first move, then its game over, you don’t even get a recovery chance; they just slough your head off or stab you through the back. Yeah, it’s not fun fighting demons; you have to play dirty if you want to get rid of them. They are pretty nasty, but they don’t play by the rules and you can’t defeat them if you play by the rules. The only way to get rid of them is be worse then they are.
    “That’s probably the worst second worst part about this entire situation. The way a demon kills its victims is the only way to kill it. If a demon goes around dismembering people, you have to dismember it. If the demon is of the vampirism variety, and goes around sucking the blood out of people, you are going to have to find someway to drain every drop of that tarry, icky ooze that is their blood. If that doesn’t work, then someone is going to have to try to gag the junk down in order to prevent resurrection, because even if a fraction of a drop of blood touches the body, the demon shall ‘rise, pick up his pallet, and walk’ (tha’s in the Bible, by the way.). Man, is drinking that sludge is nasty! If it tasted half as good as human blood, then that would make those vampire demons diminish in number much quicker then they are. I mean, no one, and I mean no one wants to go through an ordeal like that more than once in their life.
    “Oh well, you’ll get used to it. All newbie’s do, after all, you only need to go through it once. Unless you’re allergic to the sludge and all, we still need to do blood tests on you and all the medical tests too. You have pretty big eyes, now that I’m looking at you. Ha! They look like they are almost about to roll out of your head! Doesn’t matter how shocked you are, those are still some pretty big peppers ya got there. Do you have twenty-twenty vision? What? What? I can’t understand you, with the sputtering and the whining and the mumbling, talk plain English, damn it! Oh, you didn’t want to join the guild? You have a family that cares about you and they wouldn’t approve of this kind of work, well, of course not! They aren’t supposed to have to! You aren’t allowed to tell them, unless you want them fighting with us, but who want parents are the frontlines? They’d probably be stuck in filing or investigation, or some other boring desk job. You’re young, though; you could probably get a few sponsors and maybe take down a demon or two in a month. If you can get through the training in one piece. Oh, what’s with that face? Oh, that’s right; I didn’t tell you the worst part about our guild. Once you know about the guild, you become part of the Guild. (Zaria lifts up her Bazooka with stickers on it, you realize how tastefully it really was decorated, and then Zaria points it at you.)
    “You were there at the fight last week when we took down a Greater Imp. You were almost lucky, you hid pretty well and none of us saw you, you could have gotten away, but one of the heat monitors caught you when you started running away. It’s a real shame, you could have had a normal life if you stayed put, but you got scared and ran and we caught you. I guess being scared is natural, but we’ll have to weed it out in training. It doesn’t matter if you say no to us, because since you saw a demon, They will probably come to pick you up. There is this special ‘demonizing’ process, gain eternal life, plays with innocents, thrive in the fires of Hell, all that warping paper and party hats. However, we can’t let that happen, we won’t let you be on of Them, so you have to be one of Us. You are part of the Guild, now, you’re life no longer exists. You join, or (Zaria tilts her head at the open gaping mouth of the Bazooka) you disappear. You see, us G.O.D.’s are a lot like demons ourselves. Once we sink our teeth in, we never let go. So, are you one of Us, or one of Them?