War

• Artist: G O L ii A T H
• Description: Yet another one of my random writings that I'd like to share. As you notice, I used the five senses in this writing.
• Date: 07/09/2009
• Tags:

I listen to the crunch of gravel beneath my feet. The screams of pain and terror coming from the citizens of this battle-scarred town. Fire is raging in the ruined buildings. I see blasts over yonder. My rifle is held close to my chest. I smell the scent of ash and gunpowder. Feel the blood that was crusted on my uniform. The air tastes stale in my dry mouth. I think that this is it. This is how it is to be on the battlefield. This is how it is to be on the frontlines. This is the experience of war.

Comments

[G O L ii A T H]

This was fixed.

[The Berry Lipstick]

I really liked it, even tough you didn't stay in the same tense.

[G O L ii A T H]

Thanks a lot for pointing that out. I did not realize I did so.

[Pink Sapphire Kiss]

This would be a lot better if you'd stayed in the same tense. going back and forth between past and present makes the piece a little awkward. 3/5