Aura Wintergreen
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Fear
In the Evanescence song, 'Sweet Sacrifice' , it is sung
'Fear is only in our minds taking over all the time'


I would say that is true, completely and utterly true.

Everyone fears different things and these fears weigh on the back of our minds. The fear keeps us from doing or saying something. The fear prevents us from acting, it can paralyse us.

Everyone has different fears, some people share the same fears and some people have fears that are unique only to them.

I fear not being good enough, never being good enough.

I also fear something else, a deeper fear, a darker fear. A fear that I rarely admit to myself.

I fear the spread of my Neurofibromatosis.
I look at my arms and I think that one of them looks bigger than the other.
I can't help but lay awake in bed, feeling my body for plexiform fibromas.
I can't help but be scared of what I don't know.
I can't help but fear the knowledge I would have if I saw the specialist.

But mostly I fear that if something is really wrong I won't have the strength to fight.