A Double life of mine
I'm pretty sure everyone has something like how they act for certain events. For me it's not just a event, it's a whole life that I have to seperate into 2. Maybe 3 maybe 4 , but I know for sure that I have more then one life. And I'm also sure that everyone else has more then one life.
Confused ? you didn't need to understand anyway.
I have 2 "life" my [what I call] Moon, and my Shadow. Everyday when I'm at home, I'm the moon, I shine and I can fully express my self, being happy and talkactive confident and most importantly comfortable. My home is like earth, I the the earth's moon. In my home I'm so happy it's undescribable to tell how much I'm so happy to be home every second of life at home is like every second in heaven for me.
However, everything I have to leave earth, I turn into a shadow, ignored by almost everyone, my shy nature doesn't get me too much attension, I rather keep things low because if something happens, it'll get arkward I just know it, I can't talk to new strangers really that much because I don't know why, it's just feels uncomfortable. I start to can't breath, my nose gets clogged and I start feeling nervous.
It's really worst when someone attractive talks to you, the difficulty in breathing gets even more difficult, I choked on my own words for the ten million time. I don't understand how did I end up so mute to simple everyday life things like this. It makes me sad and depress.
Because of the lack of attension I have, I always constantly feel like a shadow, noone wants to talk to me because they know that I can't talk so well, I need help and I'm trying to fix myself but the process is just so slow.
I don't get lonely at all, my moon plays the harp for me, my lonelyness fades away when I go back to earth. But recently, I've been feeling very alone after a loved one of mine went far far away, I want to love that person but it's just impossible.
My life is full of relationship failure
Being a shadow isn't fun at all, having to deal with scary people and things you didn't wanted to do but you have to for a reason.
