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It's been a while since I've done one of these, but I'm having trouble winding down, so I figured I may as well, clear my head.

I'm a bit worried that Chloe thinks of herself as just a tool, to me.. She's actually one of the most important ,and influential people in my life.. A lot of my beliefs, and views, have changed because of her.. I want to make myself a better person, and I don't do so many things I normally would, all because of her..

Sadly.. I still don't know if I really know what love is.. sometimes I feel moments of just super intense happiness, and strong feelings of affection that I can't describe, when I think of Chloe.. but I don't think I'll ever be 100% sure that I know what love is, even if I'm currently experiencing it.. I'm always so unsure about everything x x'

She's .. my everything. She's the reason why I got a job, the reason why I'm getting my license, and a car.. without her, I'd still be jobless, with no motivation in life.. I'd sit around, stare at the sky, and play videogames.. I'd keep doing that until everyone in the family died off, live off the inheritance as long as I could.. and then after that, I don't know. I'd either be homeless and live on the streets, or I'd try to make something of myself.. I just wouldn't know what.

It also makes me feel super important when she has to rely on me.. It's sort of like, someone you just IDOLIZE, someone you have so much respect for, and someone that's basically a hero to you, asks for your help.. it makes you feel so great >.<;

and yeah.. I really do respect her. I respect her so much it's ridiculous.. she's my rolemodel, in not so many words.. .___.;; I guess I do love her, huh.. ^ ^

I'm just worried that she doesn't know how important she is to me.. I mean sure, sex is great.. but if I could never have sex again, I'd still be in love with her, I'd still want her.. I even try to take as little from her as possible, I try to "use" her as little as possible (however I think that makes her think I'm being distant.. .__." ) so that she won't think I'm only out to use her for things.. I want her as a companion, not a plaything...

In the past, when she used to be my mistress, it was only because she had told me before that she wouldn't date anyone online.. so that was the closest I could be to her, (in my mind) without her e-dating me.. then when we did finally start dating... it was amazing >>;

I've never been as happy, as when I was with her.. even irl.. just being around her, it makes me happy..she's all I need in life.. I wouldn't take all the money in the world, I'd even pass up millions of catgirls, if it meant I could spend just 5 more minutes with her.. I'd sacrifice anything, just to be with her for 5 minutes...

I know it sounds corny, but it's how I honestly feel..