Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
so ******** done
So pissed right now

She ******** treats me like I'm the biggest goddamn burden on the planet, like I'm a ******** parasite, and you know what? MAYBE I AM

WHY THE ******** WOULD YOU DATE A PARASITE THEN? I've been trying to ******** give her an out for a long, long time because I'm the way I am and I'm not going to change, this is just me.

I'm pissed that she says she doesn't clean anymore because of my bullshit, like, that's fine, but I only ever wanted you to clearn your ******** messes, because I have been cleaning my own goddamn room for years, and you ******** come in here and trash it, then when it's so disgusting you can't stand it, you go back into your own room which is pristine until you trash that, and wait for me to clean mine

& I know it bugs the ever loving s**t out of her that I haven't been cleaning my room because hers is getting dirty, but so ******** what, I'm tired of cleaning this room and making it look nice, to come home to ******** trash all over my floor and clothes everywhere, I spent so long and worked so hard on this room so many times.

I know I make a mess in the kitchen with my cardboard boxes, but *I* always clean them up, I've been cleaning them up every time lately. She gets pissed off that I leave trash bags in my room, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S MY ******** ROOM, I'LL LEAVE TRASHBAGS IN HERE IF I WANT.

******** gets pissed because I don't clean the ******** pig stye she leaves for me, so ******** what, it's my goddamn ******** room, you don't have to come in here, I don't care.

I'm pissed off that she acts like I'm purposefully trying to make her do things to hurt her, I ******** go out of my way to put the least amount of burden on her possible. I don't ask for laundry until I'm literally wearing my last pair of pants and clean boxers because I know it's a pain in the a** for her.

I'm a super introvert and I have terrible social anxiety but I've been trying to do more things in town instead of her because I know it's a hassle. I just ******** hate getting fast food face to face.

I ******** hate the empty look in those dumbshits eyes when they stare through me and ask me what I want, I ******** hate knowing I have to sit here face to face with someone I want to rip inside out and ask for something from them. Atleast with the speaker box on the drive thru I can pretend a robot is taking my order and commanding the simpletons on what to do.

Cashiers are different, and paying in a store is different. Ordering food then picking it up is different, because I have removed the socializing from the equation and I don't have to deal with the idiots.

She even ******** knows how I feel about it, and even so she wants to subject me to it.

I avoided going to bed because I know how tired she's been the past few nights, because I haven't been sleeping well. I've been waking her up, and BEFORE I KNEW THAT STUPID ******** b***h c**t WHO NEEDS TO HAVE HER THROAT CUT WOULD CALL IN TO WORK, I had planned on letting her sleep as much as she could, and then making sure we got what we needed for the week because we get paid fri.

she got called into work, so I woke her up around 1:30. All this time I made sure I stayed awake even though I was actually attempting sleep on the desk, because I know how miserable it is when someone constantly wakes you up.

Instead she spits in my face with a very sarcastic "oh, thanks..." when she asks what I did for her, like you mother ********, you have no idea how tired I am or how tired i've been these past few weeks, I've been so stressed out about so many things, my anxiety has been so high, and I haven't been able to do s**t, even though I feel like passing out as soon as I get home. ******** you in the ******** a** for acting like me giving up sleep and relaxation after I get off work is nothing, ******** you for acting like me putting you first isn't a improvement on how I've been

I'm ******** trying to become a better person, but you don't ******** want any of it. So ******** you. You can't ******** sit there and s**t on me for trying to improve and then call me a ******** parasite. ******** you, ******** you raw.

Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games

Customize your own avatar now!

Join Now

Have an account? Login Now!